Archive for the ‘j-trick’ Tag

MOOMBAHRAPE   1 comment

With this new onslaught of moombah, there is no other option except to pick up the pieces, gather up your belongings and make a new fucking life for yourself on the other side of the world. The worst part is, that you could never escape the pain. Moombahton started being played in that new place that you moved to. Your friends would be like “Let’s fucking go out and get drunk and do blow and shit.” You went out and they started playing fucking moombahton at the club. Instead of doing the blow the right way you would breath it out because you were all scared and shit. Your friends got fucking pissed. They punched your face. You lost teeth. Your dental bills increased. You became homeless. That was your life. You got raped. WHY DON’T WE GO LISTEN TO A SHITLOAD OF MOOMBAHTON AFTER THE JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS AS GOOD AS FUCKING GOLD!   Leave a comment

Do you love fucking gold? Do you fucking only drink Goldschlager and wear gold shoes like this?:

Sometimes music can be worth more than gold. Mostly it is not. It’s way fucking better to have more gold than music. You can say the opposite but you’re wrong. Why the fuck are there fuckers in every town with ads on TV telling you to sell you gold to them. No one makes ads for selling them fucking music. “WE BUY YOUR OLD BROKEN MUSIC! TRADE MUSIC FOR CA$H!”. That never happens. So why don’t we go and listen to very affordably priced music AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP ASSHOLES!

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THE DIARY OF METTA WORLD PEACE   Leave a comment

Hey Hey! How the fuck are you? Just gonna take a break from dancing with stars. My name is Ron Art-wait no, that’s wrong I’m Metta World Peace. That’s what people call me now. Here’s proof:

I’ve always been fucking believing in the world peace and all and loving the people and having a positive vibe in this hustle. I’m not a fucking athlete anymore. I’m a fucking artist. I paint portraits with words now in the genre of raping, I mean rapping. I put out a rape mixtape. I mean a rap mixtape. Fuck. Have you tried it?

(click the picture to actually download this thing)

My most happiest thing about the mixtape is that it features my two fucking idols: George Lopez & Fat Joe. One is the fucking Picasso of comedy and the other is the Shakespeare of rap. I know that it seems crazy to compare George Lopez to Shakespeare and Picasso to Fat Joe but that’s just the way I fucking see it with my artist eyes. My artest eyes. Haha. Floetry. Check out my video with my mentors:

Call a fucking museum to get this shit put in it. Anyway. People get their inspiration from a lot of places. I get mine from all the fuck over. I get inspiration even from the soundclouds. I love them. Let’s go fucking listen to that shit. LET’S DO IT AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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PURE UNCUT MOOMBAH FILTH   1 comment

Moombahton is like blow. Except it’s music and you don’t stick it in your nose. You shove it in your fucking ears you idiots. Don’t you know how to work music? True that you could also shove it in your mom’s vagina but that is besides the point. All of this is besides the fucking point. All we are trying to do here is have a post of only moombahton so that after we can have apost with no moombahton. So why don’t we do that AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS CAME ON YOUR FACE   Leave a comment

Hey. How the fuck are all of you? That picture up there is of The Uproot Andy from the SLOWED party in Toronto last Saturday. Starting tomorrow we will be djing 3 nights in a fucking row. We’re gonna spin way better than that guy and by that we mean 50% as good because he murdered it. He’s really fucking good. Kudos again to The Torro Torros and Le Dew Its for promising him a happy ending massage to get him to play in this town. If you want succeed in fucking show business YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL! But rub and tugs aside, what with the whole UK moombahton spectacular and all that we’ve passed over a lot of good ass music that maybe you will like or maybe hate but whatever if you’re here you might as well listen because you’re a guest and it would be impolite so go listen to that shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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THE THURSDAY AFTER   Leave a comment

Hey, who are those two fucks? Is that Sto of the Walmer Convenience on the left with the famous dj named Mat The Alien at the Bassmentality party of Toronto last night? It just might be. So why don’t we do a post with some of his stuff and other fucking things. A little musical potpourri. Listen to these songs in bed, at the grocery store, in your mom’s vagina. The choice is yours.  Go get those tracks AFTER THE JUMP FUCKERS!

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WEDNESDAY MOOMBAHTON PLUNDER & BUGGERY   1 comment

You took fucking drugs. You went to a museum. You couldn’t understand what the fuck was going on. You threw up everywhere. Everyone was pissed. They banned you from the museum for life. Now you can’t get fucking art smart. You walked down the fucking street. You slipped on a piece of runny dog shit. You twisted your fucking ankle. while you were on the ground crying like a bitch you saw a place. It was another museum. A moombahton museum. You went inside. You heard these fucking tracks that are AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP ASSCLOWNS!

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