Archive for the ‘uk funky’ Tag

ARGE NUMA CREW IS…SANTAS ALARMAS. USE YOUR MONEY TO GET THAT SHIT!   Leave a comment

Big release from those fuckers at Voodoo Rebel Records. Arge Numa Crew drop Santas Alarmas on your head like a bird drops a turd. A turd that you like! Not only is the original the real fucking deal, but then you got global bass powerhouses Tomb Crew, Hat’n’Hoodie and our boy Ckrono firing on all cylinders with remixes that have UK Funky and Dubstep and even some fucking Moombahton. Shit is real bitches. Open up your fucking change purse, pull out that damn American Express Gold Card, go the fuck to Juno Download and buy the fuck outta that shit. It’s pretty simple. GO FIND THE LINK TO BUY AND GO SAMPLE THIS SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!

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JOELITO IS…CRUDO. BUY THAT SHIT!   Leave a comment

Our boy Josh at Big ‘N’ Hairy sent us this EP this last and shit is wild. You want some Soca/UK Funky/Tropical business that is smart and still makes the ladies’ asses bounce up and down? This is gonna be your shit. Joelito been making mad waves with this and his recent EP with Mad Decent. If you ain’t buying this you are depriving yourself just like Kony deprives children of the freedom to be a kid. You don’t wanna be like Kony. People hate that guy. So go sample the EP and BUY THE FUCK OUTTA IT AFTER THE JUMP!

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WEDNESDAY BONUS BASS!   Leave a comment

So it’s been a moombah (also known as moom moom)  fuckfest this week. Lots of new shit. But there is other great shit in other genres that we have had to ignore. So this is the time we are posting that shit. A person cannot live off moombahton alone. You would be going to slow. You would be late all the time. But you would still not be relaxed because you would still be going faster than rap or other bass musics. So let’s grab thos fucking tunes and pretend we have a wide spectrum of tastes beyond moombah based musics AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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GLOBAL BASS ORGY: ALL BASS, NO MOOMBAH   Leave a comment

Hey everyone! This is just a shitty fucking picture taken in a drunken and drugged out stupor on some fucking night that we were out about town and shit. Probably more than one person puked that night probably more than once. THAT’S THE SWAG LIFE! WE PUKE MOET MOTHERFUCKERS! WE SHIT LOBSTER! That’s the Walmer life. We excrete class. Y’all can’t keep up with that. Anyway. This one is all about no moombahton. We just reppin bass music up in this bitch. GO GRAB THAT BASS MUSIC! WE WILL NEVER FUCKING ANALYSE THE TRACKS WE POST! WE JUST GONNA DUMP THAT SHIT ON YOUR HEAD! TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT! GRAB IT AFTER THE JUMP!

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MONDAY MUSIC FOR MOTHERFUCKERS   Leave a comment

Who’s computer is this? It’s fucking Noms’! Do you know this dude? No? Check the fuck outta his shit here! He is quite talented and has been producing for less than a year. His Gucci Mane juke song is just pure heat. Wear oven mits when you listen to that shit. Been a few days since we posted. Been busy as fuck partying and spinning so what are you gonna do hate us for living? Fuck. How about we just ut the crap and listen to some tunes. Wanna rep Walmer too? get at us. LET’S GO GRAB SOME HOT ASS TUNES AFTER THE JUMP! THERE HAVE BEEN TOO MANY!

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DON’T BREAK THE INTERNETS   Leave a comment

Hey you! Fucking Americans! Yeah! Don’t break the fucking internets! Tell your fucking Congressman and Senator to fucking vote against it because you will ruin the internets for everyone. Like literally the whole fucking world. We will all fucking hate you. No music blogs will exist. We Walmer will personally hate you. If given the chance we would go to every citizen of the USA and tell them “Fuck you” if PIPA and SOPA pass. Even if you were obviously not directly responsible for it passing if you did nothing to try and stop it your are guilty in some way. Google makes it really easy to do.

AFTER YOU SIGN THE FUCKING PETITION GO GRAB SOME FUCKING MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP ASSMUNCHERS!

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POST APOCALYPTIC BASS: NO MOOMBAH FUCKERS   Leave a comment

After the fucking apocalypse there will be no room for moombahton. No light-hearted fun at the end of the world. We will need bass and plenty of it. People who listen to moombahton after the apolcalypse will be moving too slow. Cannibals will easily catch up with them. People who are listening to bass may be moving even slower. But they will be heavily armed with axes and hammers. People who listen to moombahton will be armed with hugs. You can’t kill a person with hugs unless you are some kind of musclebound bohemoth. There are probably like 3 people in the world that like moombahton and are also musclebound bohemoths. They will be the only people to carry the moombahton torch into the future. They still might get fucking killed by a bunch of people who like bass music if those people gang up on them. HERE’S SOME BASS MUSIC TO BE PREPARED AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP:

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BASSKETBALL   Leave a comment

The Dirty Fucking Fremchman never saw Baseketball. He was probably readings books like a bitch. You hear that kids? Only bitches read books. Don’t read. Don’t stand out by being smart. No one likes smart people. In a sense, being smart is stupid. Make that your slogan. Anyway. There has been so much shit coming out music wise that we can’t keep the fuck up. Also we like to drink. If you drink you feel like fucking puking. If you feel like fucking puking it’s hard to be funny. That’s our life. WHY DON’T YOU GO GRAB SOME FUCKING TRACKS FOR THE FUCKING WEEKEND WHILE WE CHUG WATER AND MUNCH ADVILS!

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SOUNDCLOUDS CAME ON YOUR FACE   Leave a comment

Hey. How the fuck are all of you? That picture up there is of The Uproot Andy from the SLOWED party in Toronto last Saturday. Starting tomorrow we will be djing 3 nights in a fucking row. We’re gonna spin way better than that guy and by that we mean 50% as good because he murdered it. He’s really fucking good. Kudos again to The Torro Torros and Le Dew Its for promising him a happy ending massage to get him to play in this town. If you want succeed in fucking show business YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL! But rub and tugs aside, what with the whole UK moombahton spectacular and all that we’ve passed over a lot of good ass music that maybe you will like or maybe hate but whatever if you’re here you might as well listen because you’re a guest and it would be impolite so go listen to that shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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TERROR TONE IS GONNA DROP AN EP AUGUST 8TH. WILL YOU BE THERE?   Leave a comment

Do not adjust your screen. I’m not a lesbian. No. I’m celebrity dj Paul Oakenfold™. I fuckin’ play Will Smith’s birthday parties. I fuckin’ play clubs in Ibiza where they have blow parties and Richard Gere is putting blow into hamsters and then putting the hamsters into his asshole. That’s Ibiza. That’s fucking life. But I’m not just here to talk about Richard Gere’s asshole. No way. Not today. I’m here to talk about the man from Toronto named Terror Tone. He likes to make the bass music. You probably think I only like trance or other shitty music, but I don’t just like that drivel. I also am a fan of the future garage and the bassline and the United Kingdom Funky musical style. Terror Tone’s Bad Love EP  is some good ass shit in that style. But don’t take my fucking word for it, Paul Oakenfold’s word. No. Listen to it yourself AFTER THAT FUCKING JUMP and buy The Bad Love EP on the Beatport or the iTunes or the Juno Download on August 8th:

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