Spread our madness:

Been wanting to drop this on your asses for a while. This right here is some game changing shit. So many of these tracks are so abstract but they still pop off. The great thing about it is that you get to hear all your favourite classic characters shine like Cam Jus and Pickster & Melo and then you got new cats comin up like Cy Kosis and Don Valdez. It’s really the best of both worlds like Jay-Z and R. Kelly together. The other great thing is that this is being dropped through DJ MAG: THE MAG OF DJS!. GO GRAB THAT FUCKING COMP AND READ THE ARTICLE ON DJ MAG AFTER THE JUMP CUNT-TARDS!

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Spread our madness:

Not gonna fuck around talking our smack on this one. Just gonna post the things you need if you’re playing Austin, Miami or even Boise, Idaho. All this shit will bang at your gig. Pure posting of shit. Nothing else. No commentary. GO GRAB ALL OF IT AFTER THE JUMP!

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Have we got an extra special treat for you today! Out now is the excellent as fuck EP of the Ackeejuice Rockers’ newest track Freeze. They are bringing the hard rave vibes to this release and have some big guns in for support: Neki Stranac, Boyfriend and Klipar. It doesn’t get much better than this you may think but is actually does. These clever Italian dudes have granted us an exclusive interview on this, the day of the release and have also given us a free track to give you guys! Crazy! HOW ABOUT WE GO READ THE INTERVIEW AND THEN GO BUY THIS INCREDIBLE EP AND ALSO GRAB THAT FREE TUNE AFTER THE JUMP!

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Who is this now repping Walmer? It’s motherfucking Jake Twell. Heard of him? He makes fucking great bass music in jolly old England using crumpets and driving a lorry whatever other weird words they use over there. Check out his soundcloud. Everyone should heve Walmer stickers on their computers, vaginas, asses, basically all the best places. Have Walmer stickers on their babies. It’s a no-brainer. Big things coming up too. A little bird might be telling people that we are gonna be a SXSW. Maybe a party is being organized. Maybe it will be a moombahton party. Maybe with Moomba+. Who knows? Anyway why don’t we get in the fucking mood with some fucking moombahton right now? LET’S DO THAT ASSHOLES AFTER THE JUMP!

Spread our madness:

With this new onslaught of moombah, there is no other option except to pick up the pieces, gather up your belongings and make a new fucking life for yourself on the other side of the world. The worst part is, that you could never escape the pain. Moombahton started being played in that new place that you moved to. Your friends would be like “Let’s fucking go out and get drunk and do blow and shit.” You went out and they started playing fucking moombahton at the club. Instead of doing the blow the right way you would breath it out because you were all scared and shit. Your friends got fucking pissed. They punched your face. You lost teeth. Your dental bills increased. You became homeless. That was your life. You got raped. WHY DON’T WE GO LISTEN TO A SHITLOAD OF MOOMBAHTON AFTER THE JUMP!

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What if we just did a fucking moombahton mega post? Is that what you dream of other than wealth and sex? Well we can’t give you fucking money and we sure as hell ain’t gonna fuck you but we got a SHITLOAD of moombah for you! So what do you want from us? More funny shit? No. We gonna go right in like these bitches with guns probably go right in. They don’t make jokes. GO GRAB SO MUCH MOOMBAHTON AFTER THE JUMP YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!

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Chris Tucker woke up in his apartment in the not great part of town. It was 1pm. That’s the time he woke up everyday. He hadn’t worked for 2 years so he never had to get up early unless it was to get his welfare cheque. Chris Tucker collected welfare now. Even though he always got more than enough sleep because of the fact that nothing was going on in his life, he still enjoyed having a cup of coffee as a pick me up to start his day. It just made it feel complete. It made him feel complete if only for a few minutes. As the coffee brewed he looked at the fading picture of him and Jackie Chan that he had stuck on his old refrigerator.

Those had been better times. He remembered all the bitches he had fucked as a tag team with Jackie. They had done it to build up their partnership so that audiences would love their chemistry. He remembered all the blow that they had done together in the trailer off of breasts in between takes. Jackie liked to do lines of blow between girl’s assholes and pussies. He called it “Getting from Point A to Point P” except when he said it it was in Chinese and shit. Chris Tucker stood there for 10 more minutes looking at the picture,  revisiting all the highs and lows he had had in his former career as an actor. The coffee maker made a beep and brought Chris Tucker back to reality. He poured the warm liquid into his favourite mug and took a quick gulp. As the coffee hit his taste buds it was all wrong, it had a very sharp taste almost like vinegar but salty and it stung his tongue. He pulled the mug away from his face and looked inside and made a startling discovery. It was not coffee at all in his mug. It was pee. Chris Tucker had just drank pee. Floating in the pee were soundclouds. GO GRAB THOSE SOUNDCLOUDS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP TO KNOW WHAT CHRIS TUCKER EXPERIENCED!: