Where do you listen to music? The girl’s bathroom? The school playground? You’re a creep. Even if you’re a girl it’s kinda creepy unless you have a kid and the kid is playing on the playground and you happen to be there to look after the little fucker. But then even if that is the case, why do you have your headphones on? Maybe your kid is screaming. You’ll never hear them. You’re a bad mother. This is not Parenting Today. Is there a blog called Parenting Today? Who cares. Fuckers are here for some fucking tunes so why don’t we drop the pretense and get straight to the point. Just straight up bass music for your stupid asses. GO GRAB THOSE TUNES AFTER THE JUMP FUCK FACES!
Archive for the ‘douster’ Tag
Separated at birth? Haha! Anyway, we got some hot shit in store for you either today or tomorrow but in the meantime we got more music for your stupid asses. We always need to be shoveling out music like a bunch of labourers in a salt mine. GIVE US FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS! Anyway. Let’s get the is music party started. Enough fucking chit chat. We honestly don’t give a fuck about your wife and kids and if you don’t have kids we don’t give a fuck about your sperm or uterus. This is not the Walmer Convenience Family Blog of Putting Up Pictures My Kids Drew On The Fridge or WCFBPMDOTF. GO GET SOME NEW SHIT AFTER THE JUMP CUNT BRAINS!
You took fucking drugs. You went to a museum. You couldn’t understand what the fuck was going on. You threw up everywhere. Everyone was pissed. They banned you from the museum for life. Now you can’t get fucking art smart. You walked down the fucking street. You slipped on a piece of runny dog shit. You twisted your fucking ankle. while you were on the ground crying like a bitch you saw a place. It was another museum. A moombahton museum. You went inside. You heard these fucking tracks that are AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP ASSCLOWNS!
Do you like bass? Do you like the sea? Well then you should take these fucking songs and go to the sea and listen to them and stay out too long and get a sunburn and then do that again several fucking times and get skin cancer and go to the hospital and when you get there you can see how many people actually care about you and those that don’t fucking come are not your real friends and you can delete them from facebook and that will be your life. LIVE THAT FUCKING LIFE AFTER THE JUMP!
What is best? Shit or piss down your neck? Shit would choke you but piss would sting. Sometimes life gives you hard choices. Shit tastes like shit but piss tastes like piss. Best of times, worst of times. Charles Dickens. Think carefully about it. Anyway, let’s play some tunes. It’s the fucking long weekend in Canada. Maybe it is in America or Europica and Asiaca. All those other places are kinda just a blur. Like fucking Europe is just all the same with people just having traditions and funny costumes. GO GRAB THESE SONGS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!
Hey hey! My name is Afrojacks. I invented moombahton. Fuck all of y’all. I don’t drink milk. I pour Crystal™ on my fucking cereal. I eat fucking Caviar Pops. They’re like Corn Pops but they taste like fucking fish and cost $2000 per box. That’s my life. That’s Afrojack. I’m working on a track with Justin Bieber. I fucked Lady Gaga. That was so weird. There were ostriches in the same room when it happened. One of them licked my right testicle. It’s tongue was rough. I still see it’s face when I close my eyes.
Have you met my friends yet? Bill.i.am is the fucking black dude from Blast Iced Fleas and there’s Dave Gettus and that guy from Florida who I don’t remember his name. Here’s some tracks AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!
Ah, Paris in the springtime. When soundclouds fuck and have babies. This picture depicts what happens to Paris when soundclouds fuck and doves cry. The Eiffel Tower falls down and then no one can go up it and they just have to use it as a bridge to cross the fucking river. If you are gonna cross that long twisted bridge then you will need some music and you can listen to some soundclouds. Super fucking soundcoulds. On Wednesday. Let them molest your ears with their sound AFTER THAT JUMP YOU CUNTEATERS!