Archive for the ‘dj donna summer’ Tag

NEW YEAR/NEW BASS   Leave a comment

Don’t know what the fuck that picture is supposed to be. Like is it the Moon hitting the Earth or is it like Uranus? Is that how it ends? We are hit by Uranus? Your anus? Fuck. Or maybe nothing will happen. Maybe you will still have to work at your dead end job for the next 20 years. Maybe there will be no end. You will still be single in 2012. Did you ever imagine that there would be an apocalypse and society would crumble and that you wouldn’t have to go to fucking work and maybe you would join some rebel group and be a hero/finally step up your game? It might never happen. You may not become some kind of post-apocalyptic fuckmaster/hero.

In the meantime why don’t we go out and grab some fucking bass music and remember the peeps we lost in 2011. LET’S GO FUCKING DO THIS SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!

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A BUNCH OF ODDS AND ENDS: MOOMBAH, BASS, RAP, MORE   2 comments

Separated at birth? Haha! Anyway, we got some hot shit in store for you either today or tomorrow but in the meantime we got more music for your stupid asses. We always need to be shoveling out music like a bunch of labourers in a salt mine. GIVE US FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS! Anyway. Let’s get the is music party started. Enough fucking chit chat. We honestly don’t give a fuck about your wife and kids and if you don’t have kids we don’t give a fuck about your sperm or uterus. This is not the Walmer Convenience Family Blog of Putting Up Pictures My Kids Drew On The Fridge or WCFBPMDOTF. GO GET SOME NEW SHIT AFTER THE JUMP CUNT BRAINS!

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SOUNDCLOUDS MADE FROM PEE   Leave a comment

Chris Tucker woke up in his apartment in the not great part of town. It was 1pm. That’s the time he woke up everyday. He hadn’t worked for 2 years so he never had to get up early unless it was to get his welfare cheque. Chris Tucker collected welfare now. Even though he always got more than enough sleep because of the fact that nothing was going on in his life, he still enjoyed having a cup of coffee as a pick me up to start his day. It just made it feel complete. It made him feel complete if only for a few minutes. As the coffee brewed he looked at the fading picture of him and Jackie Chan that he had stuck on his old refrigerator.

Those had been better times. He remembered all the bitches he had fucked as a tag team with Jackie. They had done it to build up their partnership so that audiences would love their chemistry. He remembered all the blow that they had done together in the trailer off of breasts in between takes. Jackie liked to do lines of blow between girl’s assholes and pussies. He called it “Getting from Point A to Point P” except when he said it it was in Chinese and shit. Chris Tucker stood there for 10 more minutes looking at the picture,  revisiting all the highs and lows he had had in his former career as an actor. The coffee maker made a beep and brought Chris Tucker back to reality. He poured the warm liquid into his favourite mug and took a quick gulp. As the coffee hit his taste buds it was all wrong, it had a very sharp taste almost like vinegar but salty and it stung his tongue. He pulled the mug away from his face and looked inside and made a startling discovery. It was not coffee at all in his mug. It was pee. Chris Tucker had just drank pee. Floating in the pee were soundclouds. GO GRAB THOSE SOUNDCLOUDS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP TO KNOW WHAT CHRIS TUCKER EXPERIENCED!:

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SOUNDCLOUDS AS GOOD AS FUCKING GOLD!   Leave a comment

Do you love fucking gold? Do you fucking only drink Goldschlager and wear gold shoes like this?:

Sometimes music can be worth more than gold. Mostly it is not. It’s way fucking better to have more gold than music. You can say the opposite but you’re wrong. Why the fuck are there fuckers in every town with ads on TV telling you to sell you gold to them. No one makes ads for selling them fucking music. “WE BUY YOUR OLD BROKEN MUSIC! TRADE MUSIC FOR CA$H!”. That never happens. So why don’t we go and listen to very affordably priced music AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP ASSHOLES!

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NO MOOMBAHTON ALLOWED   2 comments

Do you want moombahton? There is no moombahton in this post. You came to the wrong place. Turn around. Go back to where ever you came from. We can’t post moombahton all the time everyday. No. You gotta break the addiction. Walmer Convenience is not some kind of “moombah-only” blog. We have fucking horizons. We have dreams. Don’t put us in some kind of moombahton box. Boom! That’s all we fucking feel like writing so go fuck yourselves looking for laughs and shit. GO GRAB ALL NON-MOOMBAHTON SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!:

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THE SOUND THAT FUCKS THE CRADLE   Leave a comment

There are so many songs in the world that sometimes we just want to go crazy. It’s like American Beauty except it should be called Canadian Beauty and it should star us instead of Kevin Spacey and some has-beens (or just all has-beens). Whatever. Relax. Play some music. Do a line of blow off a breast. Take a chill pill. Take a fuck pill like the viagras. Want some tunes? THEY’RE AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP PERVERTS!

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