Archive for the ‘jamrock’ Tag

MOOMBAHLUV 3: THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE   Leave a comment

All things must come to an end, even love. Even…moombahluv. In this chapter our heroes are confronted with a Valentine’s Day riddle: is Moombahluv possible after the death of Whitney Houston? The answer my surprise you, but one thing is for sure there’ll be a lot of crazy tunes along the way. That fucker Dj UMBS of Generation’s Bass put all of your favourites and a lot of our favourites are on this bitch. King Kong, Jon Kwest, Noms, Feral Is Kinky, Mango Troops, El Nomada, STLKRFOXXX, Saur and much, much more. Make a fucking baby to this shit. If both of you are from the same sex then pretend you are making a baby to this shit. Sky is the limit. Make as many babys as you can. Go for the record. There are two sides to this so you have the time. Still best to get started as early as possible so why don’t we stop talking and start fucking. GO GRAB THE COMP AFTER THE JUMP FUCKNUTS!

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FUCKING MOOMBAH MEGAPOST   Leave a comment

Damn son, where’d you find that sticker? Boom! Another fucker rockin Walmer swag. Who the fuck is this? Fucking babySTEPS. Have you checked out his soundcloud? There is some hot ass music up in that bitch. His remix of Heartbreak’s “Blaze Up” is fucking phenomenal. Basically you need it in your life. But enough chit-chat. What the fuck are we here for? To talk about feelings and shit? No. We’re here to fucking have some sick tunes so let’s go get that hot moombahton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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GARBAGE BINS FULL OF MUSIC   Leave a comment

You fucking became a homeless fuck. You got raped in the alley everyday. You said “That’s life”. You liked it. It helped mark the time. That’s how you rolled. No one could take that away from you. You found music in the garbage one day. It changed the fuck out of your life. You started to wear headphones while you got raped. It added a whole new angle. Rape would never be the same again. Musical alley rape. The future of alley rape. The future is today. GO GRAB SOME FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP FUCK BAGS!

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MOOMBAHLUV II: FUCK AND FUCKABILITY   1 comment

Just in time for Halloween, Generation Bass brings out Moombahluv II: Fuck & Fuckability based on the novel Push by Sapphire. If you loved the Moombahsoul series from Heartbreak then this is right up your fucking alley! Listen to this shit in the bathroom while you jerk off or in the bedroom while you finger a pussy or a butthole. Sex time. Read Neil Queen Jones’ words about Moombahluv II, download the fucking music and stream that shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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GET PICKSTER’S THE RISE OF MOOMBAHTON   1 comment

Pop quiz hotshot! The Pickster comp “The Rise Of Moombahton: Today We Were Kings” comes at your fucking face at 60 miles per hour. What do you do? Boom! Trick question. It’s music. You put it onto your computer and you dj that shit til your hands, ears and eyes bleed. This comp will not wash your fucking car and finger your girlfriend while you watch CSI: Miami. No. But it’s gonna donkey punch your senses and give your brain a dirty sanchez. Who the fuck is on this? Pickster? Melo? Sluggo? Ledoom? Mendez? ETC!ETC! Chong X? Jon Kwest? Jay Fay? Skinny Friedman? Jake Twell? Jamrock? Javier Estrada? UFO!? Apt One? Bro Safari? Other dudes we don’t know? You would be ok with just one of these dudes on some shit but now you got them all in one place and it becomes fucking explosive. So do what you have to do. Take the fucking Nestea™ plunge into this shit. You’ll be covered in ice tea but you’ll be loving your fucking life. GRAB THE COMP AND STREAM THE FUCK OUT OF IT AFTER THE JUMP FUCK FACES!

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HELLCLOUDS & FUCKCLOUDS   Leave a comment

Well, gonna try to put up as much shit as possible since shit is gonna get crazy starting tonight. Djing and working a day job. It’s a win-win-lose. We can’t always be internet stars all the time. We have to get down from our ivory fucking virtual tower and walk among the people. See what you fuckers see. Taste what you taste. Turn you onto the dark side with speeches like this:

Basically, how are we gonna meet your mom and make you the little brother (or sister! right ladies?) you always wanted if we are not out there djing and impressing her and making her vagina damp. Maybe we will play some of these songs for her. GO GET THEM AFTER THE JUMP CUNTS!

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SUPER FUCKING SPECIAL GUEST POST – POP CULTURE CARE PACKAGE PRESENTS: THE BRYAN ADAMS GUIDE TO UK MOOMBAHTON   5 comments

Hey, Walmer fans, Bryan Adams here! How’s it going over there in Canadialand? Actually, don’t tell me, I don’t give even 5% of a fuck. Seriously . That’s why I left that shithole to come live here in the UK, leaving you lot swimming in a massive puddle of your own chezelagnia filth until you can come to terms with the fact that you’ll never be American. Man, this place pisses on your dump – right now I’m at the vinegar strokes with that Kelly Brook lady and whoever that foxy lady is who’s in the Harry Potter films – yeah, Dame Maggie Smith. You know it. And the best thing? They give you a butler who’ll wipe the manjam from your old chap with one of the Queen’s swans while Sting holds your coat. Sweet.

Actually, I don’t know why I’m bothering to write this, I bet you’re too busy being tromboned by a grizzly bear or getting all the fucking poutine out your beard so you can get on with finishing your Wayne Gretzky fan porn. Anyway, if you could just stop licking Celine Dion’s sweaty lady marmalade off Jim Carrey’s perineum for  just one fucking second, I’d like to let you know about all the great moombahtons they got over here in that UK – well, I won’t, cos  like the rest of you idiot Canadians, I don’t actually know shit about culture, so I’ll wait for my man Pop Culture Care Package to finish drinking Pimms with Michael Caine and Kate Moss and he can tell you dumb fucks instead. Now that’s what I’m talking aboot!

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