Archive for the ‘Mr. leub’ Tag

SOUNDCLOUDS CAME ON YOUR FACE   Leave a comment

Hey. How the fuck are all of you? That picture up there is of The Uproot Andy from the SLOWED party in Toronto last Saturday. Starting tomorrow we will be djing 3 nights in a fucking row. We’re gonna spin way better than that guy and by that we mean 50% as good because he murdered it. He’s really fucking good. Kudos again to The Torro Torros and Le Dew Its for promising him a happy ending massage to get him to play in this town. If you want succeed in fucking show business YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL! But rub and tugs aside, what with the whole UK moombahton spectacular and all that we’ve passed over a lot of good ass music that maybe you will like or maybe hate but whatever if you’re here you might as well listen because you’re a guest and it would be impolite so go listen to that shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS WILL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK   Leave a comment

What is best? Shit or piss down your neck? Shit would choke you but piss would sting. Sometimes life gives you hard choices. Shit tastes like shit but piss tastes like piss. Best of times, worst of times. Charles Dickens. Think carefully about it. Anyway, let’s play some tunes. It’s the fucking long weekend in Canada. Maybe it is in America or Europica and Asiaca. All those other places are kinda just a blur. Like fucking Europe is just all the same with people just having traditions and funny costumes. GO GRAB THESE SONGS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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DID YOU DRINK ALL THE SOUNDCLOUDS DURING EASTER?   Leave a comment

Hey kids. Wassup? Phillip Seymour Hoffman here. Relax ladies, I’m taken. I wanna take a moment to talk to you about respect. That’s right. I understand it’s tough to be a teen nowadays. Hell, I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and I’ve seen and, yes, done a lot of shit in my day. Just like you I’ve had to mix paint chips with chocolate milk to make mouth wash. Just like you I had to sell my sister for toilet paper again and again. No one gave me any breaks. We never had chocolate eggs during Easter. No, we had to eat real eggs. And not in the way you think. When the Easter bunny would bring us eggs it would be our parents taking the eggs out of the ovaries of an actual bunny. I know the same thing happens to you kids all the time. Life is hard. Here’s some cool tunes for you guys to listen to. To help you forget the hardship. AFTER THE JUMP!

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SOUNCLOUDS SO FAT THAT YOU CAN SEE THEM FROM THE FRONT   1 comment

Hey there cunts, I’m Bill Gates. When I shit, I use money to wipe my ass. When I piss, I piss into a toilet filled with the tears of 8 virgins who live in my palace and I keep only for that purpose. In my bathroom I usually like to have music playing. Sometimes I have the New York Philharmonic play because my bathroom is also a concert hall. Sometimes I just listen to fucking soundclouds. Here I some of my recent faves AFTER THE JUMP OF COURSE…

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MORE OF THE SOUNDS AND THE CLOUDS AND THE FUCKING   1 comment

Hey! What’s going on? I’m fucking Bill Cosby and I’m writing today on the Walmer Convenience blog. I’m not just a ghost dad but also a music lover. I go on soundcloud and listen to the beats. I’m gonna give you a taste of what I found. I think these songs are good but I haven’t even listened to them. I’m just gonna talk about what I think they sound like.

Nas – Life’s A Bitch (Gooffee Remix)

That song reminds me of the time I caught Theo smoking. I was so pissed. I made him smoke the whole pack to teach him a lesson. Then he got addicted and smoked again. The I beat the fuck out of him while making funny faces. It was hilarious.

Hyper Crush – Kick Us Out (HYPER CRUSH REMIX)

That song is like when you are trying to eat a fucking ice cream cone, but it’s too big for your mouth. Like this:

Everyone was like “How is he gonna fit that ice cream in his fucking mouth? It’s way too fucking big!” And I was like “You just watch!” and then the ice cream fell on my fucking shirt and i had to wash it twice to get it out.

Munchi – Skrillex Es Un Montro

That one reminded me of when I died but I was a ghost and had to take care of my kids and I was going through fucking walls and wearing ghost clothes and tipping my ghost hat. I was like “I’m so fucking dead”.

Merital – Money (Mr. Leub Home Sweet Home Remix)

That song reminds me of the time I was old and sitting on a chair.

I was like “I’m too fucking tired to stand up”. And everyone else was like “Are you still a person people care about?”. That’s that fucking song for me.

MOVADO VS SCHLACHTHOFBRONX   Leave a comment

Movado – Gangsta For Life (Mr.Leub Mad Instrument Remix) (zshare)

What if you could hear vocals by Movado and music by Schlachthofbronx? Would that make you happy. Would you cry about it? Would you pee your pants like a little baby bitch? Well, if that is what happens to you then you will hate Mr. Leub or if you enjoy peeing your pants you will love him. He seems to be some German guy who just makes mixtapes all the time. As for Movado, he’s known for this:

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