Archive for the ‘proper villains’ Tag

GLOBAL BASS ORGY: ALL BASS, NO MOOMBAH   Leave a comment

Hey everyone! This is just a shitty fucking picture taken in a drunken and drugged out stupor on some fucking night that we were out about town and shit. Probably more than one person puked that night probably more than once. THAT’S THE SWAG LIFE! WE PUKE MOET MOTHERFUCKERS! WE SHIT LOBSTER! That’s the Walmer life. We excrete class. Y’all can’t keep up with that. Anyway. This one is all about no moombahton. We just reppin bass music up in this bitch. GO GRAB THAT BASS MUSIC! WE WILL NEVER FUCKING ANALYSE THE TRACKS WE POST! WE JUST GONNA DUMP THAT SHIT ON YOUR HEAD! TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT! GRAB IT AFTER THE JUMP!

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POST APOCALYPTIC BASS: NO MOOMBAH FUCKERS   Leave a comment

After the fucking apocalypse there will be no room for moombahton. No light-hearted fun at the end of the world. We will need bass and plenty of it. People who listen to moombahton after the apolcalypse will be moving too slow. Cannibals will easily catch up with them. People who are listening to bass may be moving even slower. But they will be heavily armed with axes and hammers. People who listen to moombahton will be armed with hugs. You can’t kill a person with hugs unless you are some kind of musclebound bohemoth. There are probably like 3 people in the world that like moombahton and are also musclebound bohemoths. They will be the only people to carry the moombahton torch into the future. They still might get fucking killed by a bunch of people who like bass music if those people gang up on them. HERE’S SOME BASS MUSIC TO BE PREPARED AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP:

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IT’S THE FUCKING MOOMBAHTON ON A FUCKING MONDAY   Leave a comment

Let’s just drop the pretense, drop the jokes but let’s not drop the fucking ball on this shit. What we got here is one big heaping spoonful of moombah heat. He don’t bother with a post on each track. Why waste your time? Do you want us to tell you that we like this music? Of course we fucking do. That’s why we posted it. So just check these the fuck out. Smoke a fat ass joint and enjoy the fuck out of your day. LET’S GO FUCK WITH SOME MOOMBAH GOODNESS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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NO MOOMBAHTON ALLOWED   2 comments

Do you want moombahton? There is no moombahton in this post. You came to the wrong place. Turn around. Go back to where ever you came from. We can’t post moombahton all the time everyday. No. You gotta break the addiction. Walmer Convenience is not some kind of “moombah-only” blog. We have fucking horizons. We have dreams. Don’t put us in some kind of moombahton box. Boom! That’s all we fucking feel like writing so go fuck yourselves looking for laughs and shit. GO GRAB ALL NON-MOOMBAHTON SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!:

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THE DIARY OF METTA WORLD PEACE   Leave a comment

Hey Hey! How the fuck are you? Just gonna take a break from dancing with stars. My name is Ron Art-wait no, that’s wrong I’m Metta World Peace. That’s what people call me now. Here’s proof:

I’ve always been fucking believing in the world peace and all and loving the people and having a positive vibe in this hustle. I’m not a fucking athlete anymore. I’m a fucking artist. I paint portraits with words now in the genre of raping, I mean rapping. I put out a rape mixtape. I mean a rap mixtape. Fuck. Have you tried it?

(click the picture to actually download this thing)

My most happiest thing about the mixtape is that it features my two fucking idols: George Lopez & Fat Joe. One is the fucking Picasso of comedy and the other is the Shakespeare of rap. I know that it seems crazy to compare George Lopez to Shakespeare and Picasso to Fat Joe but that’s just the way I fucking see it with my artist eyes. My artest eyes. Haha. Floetry. Check out my video with my mentors:

Call a fucking museum to get this shit put in it. Anyway. People get their inspiration from a lot of places. I get mine from all the fuck over. I get inspiration even from the soundclouds. I love them. Let’s go fucking listen to that shit. LET’S DO IT AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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SOUNDCLOUDS CAME ON YOUR FACE   Leave a comment

Hey. How the fuck are all of you? That picture up there is of The Uproot Andy from the SLOWED party in Toronto last Saturday. Starting tomorrow we will be djing 3 nights in a fucking row. We’re gonna spin way better than that guy and by that we mean 50% as good because he murdered it. He’s really fucking good. Kudos again to The Torro Torros and Le Dew Its for promising him a happy ending massage to get him to play in this town. If you want succeed in fucking show business YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL! But rub and tugs aside, what with the whole UK moombahton spectacular and all that we’ve passed over a lot of good ass music that maybe you will like or maybe hate but whatever if you’re here you might as well listen because you’re a guest and it would be impolite so go listen to that shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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FRIDAY FUCKFEST   1 comment

Fuck yeah! We’re lazy cunts. We’re too busy smoking ganja joints and drinking beer drinks. We like to enjoy life instead of sitting in front of our computer to entertain you. Entertain yourselves. Jerk off or touch your clitorises depending on what you have. Make a song. Who knows. Maybe you have the next Who Let the Dogs out in your head or Gangster’s Paradise?

You could be like us

We dare any of you to try to be more successful than the Baha Men. Here’s your fucking music. Shut up. We’re tired. The weekend only begins now and we are already fucked. We’re going to jail. TUNES AFTER THAT JUMP CUNTS:

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