Archive for the ‘philly’ Tag

THE FUCKING DJ SEGA “MY ANGELS AND DEMONZ” EP! GRAB THE FUCK OUT OF IT CUZ IT’S FREE!   Leave a comment

Just saw this shit sitting on fucking Soundcloud for like 5 days and never saw it posted anywhere and was like “Why the fuck ain’t nobody talking about this.” Like honestly take off your Miles Davis™ Headphones and listen to this awesome ass philly club ep.

If anyone cares these earbuds cost 350 American dollars(!?!?!?). Don’t even know the price in Yen. Why don’t we just stop talking about these fucking lame ass jazz headphones for 60 year old white dudes and GRAB THE EP AND STREAM IT AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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Posted November 28, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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NO MOOMBAHTON MONDAYS   Leave a comment

As is not the tradition on Mondays, we are gonna do an all non-moombahton post because we don’t want fuckers to think we’re some kind of all moombahton blog and just send us moombahton and nothing else because that would be sad and then we would only have that in our lives and die probably from fucking moombah overdose. IT WOULD ALL BE YOUR FAULT! You would probably go to jail and become someone’s bitch and have penis in your mouth all day long. IS THAT THE FUTURE YOU WANT? Let’s go and listen to non-moombaton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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SOUNDCLOUDS YOU CAN’T TOUCH   1 comment

Maybe you are expecting something clever right now. Maybe that is not possible. Maybe we went out and scouted a place for our next party. Maybe we did blow at some point and had a number of beers. Maybe we are fucking dead inside now at work pretending to be normal people talking to our fucking boss and discussing projected revenue and then in our heads we’re like “I do fucking blow man. I can’t fucking deal with this shit.” That’s our lives. We’re having a fucking meeting and we’re pointing at charts and graphs and shit and we get a drip from the night before fall down our throats and you gotta keep your fucking composure. But anyway. Enough of that. There are soundclouds to blog. Grab them, listen to them, fuck them AFTER THE JUMP ASSHOLES!

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SOUNDCLOUDS CAME ON YOUR FACE   Leave a comment

Hey. How the fuck are all of you? That picture up there is of The Uproot Andy from the SLOWED party in Toronto last Saturday. Starting tomorrow we will be djing 3 nights in a fucking row. We’re gonna spin way better than that guy and by that we mean 50% as good because he murdered it. He’s really fucking good. Kudos again to The Torro Torros and Le Dew Its for promising him a happy ending massage to get him to play in this town. If you want succeed in fucking show business YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL! But rub and tugs aside, what with the whole UK moombahton spectacular and all that we’ve passed over a lot of good ass music that maybe you will like or maybe hate but whatever if you’re here you might as well listen because you’re a guest and it would be impolite so go listen to that shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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AT WORK AND FEEL LIKE THROWING UP   Leave a comment

Yeah. At fucking work. Drank to many beers last night. Feel like fucking throwing up on the keyboard at this fucking computer. Don’t even know why this fucking picture is here. Just thought you wanted to know that a clean fucking restroom makes people fucking happy. If the restroom is dirty are people more likely to puke? Do people prefer to puke in clean restrooms like fucking royalty and shit? Are you too good for a dirty restroom? would you still shit in a dirty restroom if it meant either doing it in your pants or doing it there? Why do you think you’re so important? Relax. Just listen to these fucking songs AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUcKERS!

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DID YOU GO TO THE PARTY LAST NIGHT?   1 comment

Did you know that when you put your ear up against a Grammy award you can hear the sound of money being printed? Oh hi. Didn’t see you there. I’m David Oswald Guetta. Did you make it to the party last night? It was fucked. There was blow everywhere. It was as if the party was held in a snow globe. A snow globe that gets you high. It was crazy.


There was like some astro-space black dude there who djed with me called Bill-I-Am and he is from a place called Black Iced Peace. He is a pretty cool for an alien. He did the most blow of all of us. What a champ. We didn’t play any of these songs that are posted AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP! We just listened Sean Kingston sing all of Justin Bieber’s songs while Fergie shot ping pong balls out of her asshole and pussy at the same time.

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SOUNDCLOUDS OF MURDER. ALSO, YOUR MOM.   Leave a comment

Hey there fucknuts! What is happening in your lives? Did you have a good weekend? Did you have a terrible weekend? Did you get peed on? It’s possible. Sometimes people get peed on. Sometimes they ask for it. Maybe you did. It’s alright. You are not so weird. You are definitely weird but not so weird. Like there are weirder people than you. The Dirty Frenchman probably does some weird ass shit. We don’t even want to know about his life. There are probably terrible things involved. Don’t ask. Let’s look at brighter things. There was a lot of amazing music that came out recently. Why don’t you give it a listen AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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