Archive for the ‘vlsonn’ Tag

WEDNESDAY BONUS BASS!   Leave a comment

So it’s been a moombah (also known as moom moom)  fuckfest this week. Lots of new shit. But there is other great shit in other genres that we have had to ignore. So this is the time we are posting that shit. A person cannot live off moombahton alone. You would be going to slow. You would be late all the time. But you would still not be relaxed because you would still be going faster than rap or other bass musics. So let’s grab thos fucking tunes and pretend we have a wide spectrum of tastes beyond moombah based musics AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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GARBAGE BINS FULL OF MUSIC   Leave a comment

You fucking became a homeless fuck. You got raped in the alley everyday. You said “That’s life”. You liked it. It helped mark the time. That’s how you rolled. No one could take that away from you. You found music in the garbage one day. It changed the fuck out of your life. You started to wear headphones while you got raped. It added a whole new angle. Rape would never be the same again. Musical alley rape. The future of alley rape. The future is today. GO GRAB SOME FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP FUCK BAGS!

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THE DIARY OF METTA WORLD PEACE   Leave a comment

Hey Hey! How the fuck are you? Just gonna take a break from dancing with stars. My name is Ron Art-wait no, that’s wrong I’m Metta World Peace. That’s what people call me now. Here’s proof:

I’ve always been fucking believing in the world peace and all and loving the people and having a positive vibe in this hustle. I’m not a fucking athlete anymore. I’m a fucking artist. I paint portraits with words now in the genre of raping, I mean rapping. I put out a rape mixtape. I mean a rap mixtape. Fuck. Have you tried it?

(click the picture to actually download this thing)

My most happiest thing about the mixtape is that it features my two fucking idols: George Lopez & Fat Joe. One is the fucking Picasso of comedy and the other is the Shakespeare of rap. I know that it seems crazy to compare George Lopez to Shakespeare and Picasso to Fat Joe but that’s just the way I fucking see it with my artist eyes. My artest eyes. Haha. Floetry. Check out my video with my mentors:

Call a fucking museum to get this shit put in it. Anyway. People get their inspiration from a lot of places. I get mine from all the fuck over. I get inspiration even from the soundclouds. I love them. Let’s go fucking listen to that shit. LET’S DO IT AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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COOL SOUNDCLOUDS ASSHOLE   Leave a comment

Hey bro. Cool soundclouds. Where did you get them? Soundcloud.com? Cool. Thanks bro. Gonna check out that site after I get home. Did you see my car? It’s pretty fuckin sweet. Car won’t shut the fuck up but otherwise it’s cool. I think you’re cool bro. It’s fucking cool all around. You wanna be my friend? I got tickets to a Clippers game. Remember that one season they did alright? Maybe they’ll do it again bro. I’ll order nachos. It’ll be cool. Come on bro. We can listen to soundclouds after together. Driving in my car. They will sound like THESE ONES AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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DID YOU GO TO THE PARTY LAST NIGHT?   1 comment

Did you know that when you put your ear up against a Grammy award you can hear the sound of money being printed? Oh hi. Didn’t see you there. I’m David Oswald Guetta. Did you make it to the party last night? It was fucked. There was blow everywhere. It was as if the party was held in a snow globe. A snow globe that gets you high. It was crazy.


There was like some astro-space black dude there who djed with me called Bill-I-Am and he is from a place called Black Iced Peace. He is a pretty cool for an alien. He did the most blow of all of us. What a champ. We didn’t play any of these songs that are posted AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP! We just listened Sean Kingston sing all of Justin Bieber’s songs while Fergie shot ping pong balls out of her asshole and pussy at the same time.

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ULTRA WHO IS BEST: BLACK & YELLOW   2 comments

Whoa! Hey didn’t see you there. What’s shaking? I’m Michael Tyson. As usual, I’m talking in a really high voice right now. I was asked by the Walmer Convenience Musical Blog to introduce a special treat to you guys. I didn’t know that it would be during a random moment while I was collecting my KIA™ from the valet after eating tons of food at a restaurant. But life is crazy like that. One moment you are driving your KIA™ Sportage LX down the Interstate of success and the next it could go into the ditch of failure. In the end we have no control of our destinies. Dust in the wind if you will. There is one thing you have control over actually and that would be over who is fucking best. That’s what I’m here to do. That’s my reason to live.

We all love the song Blacks & Yellows by the Wiz Khalifas. It’s a classic of the modern era. It’s so fucking classic that a shitload of fuckers made remixes of it.

IT IS NOW UP TO YOU TO CHOOSE WHO IS THE BEST! VOTE AFTER THE JUMP!

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SUPER FUCKING SOUNDCLOUD WEDNESDAY!   Leave a comment

Hey you fucking fucks! What a time to be alive. We have Microsoft Zunes™ we have Coke Zero™ and now we have a new EP from the super moombahton bros themselves Heartbreak and Munchi. In East Timor people are making thousands of feet of popcorn garlands in celebration. In Moldova they have declared today a national holiday. But there is so much more great music as well out there. Why don”t we all fucking gather round and take a look at it together like a family. A terrible, drug addled family. Join us on this magical journey AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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