Archive for the ‘crookers’ Tag

MOOMBAHLUV 3: THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE   Leave a comment

All things must come to an end, even love. Even…moombahluv. In this chapter our heroes are confronted with a Valentine’s Day riddle: is Moombahluv possible after the death of Whitney Houston? The answer my surprise you, but one thing is for sure there’ll be a lot of crazy tunes along the way. That fucker Dj UMBS of Generation’s Bass put all of your favourites and a lot of our favourites are on this bitch. King Kong, Jon Kwest, Noms, Feral Is Kinky, Mango Troops, El Nomada, STLKRFOXXX, Saur and much, much more. Make a fucking baby to this shit. If both of you are from the same sex then pretend you are making a baby to this shit. Sky is the limit. Make as many babys as you can. Go for the record. There are two sides to this so you have the time. Still best to get started as early as possible so why don’t we stop talking and start fucking. GO GRAB THE COMP AFTER THE JUMP FUCKNUTS!

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SOUNDCLOUDS AS GOOD AS FUCKING GOLD!   Leave a comment

Do you love fucking gold? Do you fucking only drink Goldschlager and wear gold shoes like this?:

Sometimes music can be worth more than gold. Mostly it is not. It’s way fucking better to have more gold than music. You can say the opposite but you’re wrong. Why the fuck are there fuckers in every town with ads on TV telling you to sell you gold to them. No one makes ads for selling them fucking music. “WE BUY YOUR OLD BROKEN MUSIC! TRADE MUSIC FOR CA$H!”. That never happens. So why don’t we go and listen to very affordably priced music AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP ASSHOLES!

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SOUNDCLOUDS YOU CAN’T TOUCH   1 comment

Maybe you are expecting something clever right now. Maybe that is not possible. Maybe we went out and scouted a place for our next party. Maybe we did blow at some point and had a number of beers. Maybe we are fucking dead inside now at work pretending to be normal people talking to our fucking boss and discussing projected revenue and then in our heads we’re like “I do fucking blow man. I can’t fucking deal with this shit.” That’s our lives. We’re having a fucking meeting and we’re pointing at charts and graphs and shit and we get a drip from the night before fall down our throats and you gotta keep your fucking composure. But anyway. Enough of that. There are soundclouds to blog. Grab them, listen to them, fuck them AFTER THE JUMP ASSHOLES!

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FRIDAY NIGHT IN FRONT OF THE GARBAGE   Leave a comment

Some kids hung out in front of the coffee shop or the convenience store. You fucking hung out in front of the fucking garbage. That was your home away from home. You always wondered “What are people gonna put in there next?” Life was just a string of endless surprise and wonder. You ever took to calling them “The Wonder Years”. The night was always your favourite time. Such strange shit would get put in there. Syringes, used condoms, dead cats and much more. It was like a terrible Christmas. But it couldn’t last forever. One day they took the garbage away and moved that shit to another corner. You were fucking heartbroken. You tried to follow it. Other kids were hanging around it. They kicked your fucking ass. Now you walk the streets lost. Last Thursday you spent 3 hours holding your gun in your hand, thinking: What if? LIFT YOUR SPIRITS WITH THESE FUCKING TRACKS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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THE THURSDAY AFTER   Leave a comment

Hey, who are those two fucks? Is that Sto of the Walmer Convenience on the left with the famous dj named Mat The Alien at the Bassmentality party of Toronto last night? It just might be. So why don’t we do a post with some of his stuff and other fucking things. A little musical potpourri. Listen to these songs in bed, at the grocery store, in your mom’s vagina. The choice is yours.  Go get those tracks AFTER THE JUMP FUCKERS!

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SOUNDCLOUDS WILL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK   Leave a comment

What is best? Shit or piss down your neck? Shit would choke you but piss would sting. Sometimes life gives you hard choices. Shit tastes like shit but piss tastes like piss. Best of times, worst of times. Charles Dickens. Think carefully about it. Anyway, let’s play some tunes. It’s the fucking long weekend in Canada. Maybe it is in America or Europica and Asiaca. All those other places are kinda just a blur. Like fucking Europe is just all the same with people just having traditions and funny costumes. GO GRAB THESE SONGS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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QUICK TRACKS!   Leave a comment

 These track are like you mom: wide and ready to fuck. GRAB THEM AFTER THE JUP OR JUMP OFF A BRIDGE. You only have two fucking choices. Take your fucking destiny. Stick your dick into your destiny’s vagina. Is it moist enough yet?

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