Archive for the ‘diplo’ Tag

A FEW FUCKING TRACKS FOR THE WEEKEND   Leave a comment

ImageLook at these fucks! Pickster and Brent “Fuckmaster” Tactic going back2back like motherfuckers in motherfucking Austin, Texas. These guys are soundboy murderers. These fucks play the fucking moombahton mainly but we don’t give a fuck. We are gonna put a picture of them on a non-moombahton post. That’s just the way we fucking are. Slide of hand motherfuckers. Magic motherfuckers. Ain’t no thang. Alright. Enough bullshit. Here’s some fucking music. GO GRAB THAT SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!

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WMC SONG DUMP   Leave a comment

The battle of the blogs. The battle of stickers. One on the way up. One looking like it’s alienating everyone who has anything to do with it (but who would give a fuck when you just made a song for Usher). Why the fuck is The Dirty Frenchman smiling like a fucking cunt. He should have a mean face on. But he’s a drunk ass. So he smiled for this. Anyway. Sure WMC is almost over but we’re still gonna fucking post all the latest shit you need to wreck parties. WITHOUT FURTHER ADO LET’S GET THIS GOING AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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WE CAN MAKE FUN OF DIPLO ALL WE WANT, HE IS STILL CAPABLE OF THIS SHIT   Leave a comment

ASS MOVEMENT POETRY

Posted March 14, 2012 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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STICK THESE SOUNDCLOUDS IN YOUR ASS   Leave a comment

It’s the weekend. While we take your mom out for some hot sexing you need some good tunes to distract yourself. You are a lazy fuck. You obviously couldn’t go on soundcloud yourself and start finding shit on your own. That would mean having to turn on your modem, dial up your ISP to connect to the internet and then waiting for 3 hours for one song to download because this is you computer:

Basically your life is terrible. Your mom gets fucked by bloggers and your computer is a phone with internet speeds from 1993. The least we can do is provide you with tunes. GO GRAB THAT SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!

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A SHITLOAD OF HOT TRACKS   Leave a comment

Who is this fucker? It’s Canblaster. You can hardly tell though. We could have said it was Skrillex or Paul Oakenfold. No one would know. But it’s Canblaster. We saw him on New Year’s Eve in Toronto thanks to the Mansions. They just amass killer lineups for parties. Check them out if you are in town somehow. That Canblaster is a chill dude and awesome dj. Fucking boy wonder musical genius. Anyway, why talk about shit when we can just listen to some fucking tracks and download them and then play them when we have someone over to our place to have sex. GO GET SOME MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP!

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BAAAAASSSSSSSSSS FAAAAAAAAACCCCEEEEEEE   Leave a comment

Is there a thing as too much bass? Is there a thing as too much face? Maybe. This is world with a million Nicholas Cages just running around in a cage. What does that mean? Nothing. It means mostly that we don’t know what the fuck to write right now. We complain a lot about entertaining you fucks. IT IS SO HARD TO PLEASE YOU! Let’s fucking say that this post is just gonna be for bass music (we’ve complained about this before, all music has bass) and then we’ll do a fucking moombahton post for your fucking pleasure. You would like that no? If not go read a fucking blog about feelings. If you want to have your own fun with Nick Cage’s fucking head go here. OTHERWISE GO GRAB SOME BASS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:

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GARBAGE BINS FULL OF MUSIC   Leave a comment

You fucking became a homeless fuck. You got raped in the alley everyday. You said “That’s life”. You liked it. It helped mark the time. That’s how you rolled. No one could take that away from you. You found music in the garbage one day. It changed the fuck out of your life. You started to wear headphones while you got raped. It added a whole new angle. Rape would never be the same again. Musical alley rape. The future of alley rape. The future is today. GO GRAB SOME FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP FUCK BAGS!

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NO MOOMBAHTON MONDAYS   Leave a comment

As is not the tradition on Mondays, we are gonna do an all non-moombahton post because we don’t want fuckers to think we’re some kind of all moombahton blog and just send us moombahton and nothing else because that would be sad and then we would only have that in our lives and die probably from fucking moombah overdose. IT WOULD ALL BE YOUR FAULT! You would probably go to jail and become someone’s bitch and have penis in your mouth all day long. IS THAT THE FUTURE YOU WANT? Let’s go and listen to non-moombaton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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MOOMBAHTON ABUSE   1 comment

Top of the morning to you fuckers! My name is Daniel Glover. I am a famous American actor of the cinemas. I have millions of dollars from Lethal Weapons and other movies where I am saying shit like “I am to old for this shit!”. Now I really am to old for this shit! But I want to make talks with you about what is a serious things. When I was the child, moombahton touched my penis and made me abused by it. I was very scared! I was too young for this shit! I will always have hate for the moobahton and the sex it did to me. I am upsetted by the fact that I am forced to make an introduction for that music. There is only moombahton in this post. I hope it does not make to touch your penis or vagina. Be careful.

GO GRAB ALL NEW FUCKING MOOMBAHTON AFTER THE JUMP PUSSY FACES!

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NO MOOMBAHTON ALLOWED   2 comments

Do you want moombahton? There is no moombahton in this post. You came to the wrong place. Turn around. Go back to where ever you came from. We can’t post moombahton all the time everyday. No. You gotta break the addiction. Walmer Convenience is not some kind of “moombah-only” blog. We have fucking horizons. We have dreams. Don’t put us in some kind of moombahton box. Boom! That’s all we fucking feel like writing so go fuck yourselves looking for laughs and shit. GO GRAB ALL NON-MOOMBAHTON SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!:

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