Archive for the ‘big dope p’ Tag

A BUNCH OF ODDS AND ENDS: MOOMBAH, BASS, RAP, MORE   2 comments

Separated at birth? Haha! Anyway, we got some hot shit in store for you either today or tomorrow but in the meantime we got more music for your stupid asses. We always need to be shoveling out music like a bunch of labourers in a salt mine. GIVE US FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS! Anyway. Let’s get the is music party started. Enough fucking chit chat. We honestly don’t give a fuck about your wife and kids and if you don’t have kids we don’t give a fuck about your sperm or uterus. This is not the Walmer Convenience Family Blog of Putting Up Pictures My Kids Drew On The Fridge or WCFBPMDOTF. GO GET SOME NEW SHIT AFTER THE JUMP CUNT BRAINS!

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THE DIARY OF METTA WORLD PEACE   Leave a comment

Hey Hey! How the fuck are you? Just gonna take a break from dancing with stars. My name is Ron Art-wait no, that’s wrong I’m Metta World Peace. That’s what people call me now. Here’s proof:

I’ve always been fucking believing in the world peace and all and loving the people and having a positive vibe in this hustle. I’m not a fucking athlete anymore. I’m a fucking artist. I paint portraits with words now in the genre of raping, I mean rapping. I put out a rape mixtape. I mean a rap mixtape. Fuck. Have you tried it?

(click the picture to actually download this thing)

My most happiest thing about the mixtape is that it features my two fucking idols: George Lopez & Fat Joe. One is the fucking Picasso of comedy and the other is the Shakespeare of rap. I know that it seems crazy to compare George Lopez to Shakespeare and Picasso to Fat Joe but that’s just the way I fucking see it with my artist eyes. My artest eyes. Haha. Floetry. Check out my video with my mentors:

Call a fucking museum to get this shit put in it. Anyway. People get their inspiration from a lot of places. I get mine from all the fuck over. I get inspiration even from the soundclouds. I love them. Let’s go fucking listen to that shit. LET’S DO IT AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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HELLCLOUDS & FUCKCLOUDS   Leave a comment

Well, gonna try to put up as much shit as possible since shit is gonna get crazy starting tonight. Djing and working a day job. It’s a win-win-lose. We can’t always be internet stars all the time. We have to get down from our ivory fucking virtual tower and walk among the people. See what you fuckers see. Taste what you taste. Turn you onto the dark side with speeches like this:

Basically, how are we gonna meet your mom and make you the little brother (or sister! right ladies?) you always wanted if we are not out there djing and impressing her and making her vagina damp. Maybe we will play some of these songs for her. GO GET THEM AFTER THE JUMP CUNTS!

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SOUNDCLOUDS CAME ON YOUR FACE   Leave a comment

Hey. How the fuck are all of you? That picture up there is of The Uproot Andy from the SLOWED party in Toronto last Saturday. Starting tomorrow we will be djing 3 nights in a fucking row. We’re gonna spin way better than that guy and by that we mean 50% as good because he murdered it. He’s really fucking good. Kudos again to The Torro Torros and Le Dew Its for promising him a happy ending massage to get him to play in this town. If you want succeed in fucking show business YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL! But rub and tugs aside, what with the whole UK moombahton spectacular and all that we’ve passed over a lot of good ass music that maybe you will like or maybe hate but whatever if you’re here you might as well listen because you’re a guest and it would be impolite so go listen to that shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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YOUR MOM MADE THESE SOUNDCLOUDS. IN HER UTERUS.   1 comment

She got fucked. She had it in her uterus for 9 months. It came out. It was a soundcloud. She was shocked. This was not a baby. It was beats. You can’t breastfeed a beat. What was she going to do with all that milk? It was a big case of the mondays. Your brother is a beat. It goes to family reunions. It’s so fucking loud. You hate Christmas now. The beat made it to college and you didn’t. You are jealous. Jealous of a soundcloud. Your life sucks. Listen to soundclouds. AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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MOOMBAHCLOUDS OF FUCK AND OTHER DRUGS   Leave a comment

Hey bros! How many drinks have you had today? 2? 3? 15? The world is your oyster. How many times have you puked? 1? 3? It’s true. It’s the best way to feel good again after you start feeling a little woozy from drinking. The Dirty Frenchman worked with this dude who got fired for drinking at work. The guy would drink booze to work at a call centre and it’s like if you’re gonna get boozy than get boozy to do some fucking fun work like being a fucking bikini inspector or condom tester or a sex haver or secret shopper at Walmart. A lot of moombah again on the plate today. Don’t know what we’re gonna do with it all. Been eating a lot of moombah lately. Maybe too much. Gonna get mad fat and have to have that moombah removed by liposuction. MUSIC IS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP:

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SOUNDCLOUDS FROM THE STREETS OF FUCK CITY!   3 comments

When was the last time you shit your pants? 10 years ago? 15 years ago? 1 year ago? If you answered yes to the last one then you have a problem. You are either a baby, a homeless person or a human vegetable. If that is the case we ask: How did you manage to go on the internet, find this blog and be able to read it? You should not be able to do that. Science just won’t fucking allow it. Stop disrespecting science and get yourself a fucking job and a sense of respect.

Anyway maybe one of you will shit your pants tomorrow. Whoever shits their pants next and can prove it to us wins a full writeup on the Walmer Blog. You could get a write up as a dj or music producer or maybe as a janitor or as a person that stands on a bridge over the freeway yelling at cars. You could be a star. Music is after THE FUCKING JUMP…

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