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All you fuckers probably knew Dj Slink before. No, that can’t be true actually. Dude has less followers on soundcloud than us. Go now to that link and follow him. Are you back? Ok. Dude killed his set when we saw him at Volstead as part of the Peligrosa show on Saturday night. He can do everything, he makes breaks and bmore and fucking moombahton and tracks that sound like crazy pop music. Let’s go check out his stuff together. GO GRAB THAT SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!

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If there’s one thing that god wants, it’s for us to post a shitload of tracks this day, a Friday, so you can fulfill your destiny of playing a good set at clubs if you are a dj or maybe you can use this music to impress some one of the opposite or same sex to sleep with you if you do not jockey discs. Either way, this is gonna help you step up your game. So why are you still on this page, you should be clicking after the jump to grab tunes! GO FUCKING GRAB SOME HOT FUCKING BASS MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP FUCKTARDS!

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As is not the tradition on Mondays, we are gonna do an all non-moombahton post because we don’t want fuckers to think we’re some kind of all moombahton blog and just send us moombahton and nothing else because that would be sad and then we would only have that in our lives and die probably from fucking moombah overdose. IT WOULD ALL BE YOUR FAULT! You would probably go to jail and become someone’s bitch and have penis in your mouth all day long. IS THAT THE FUTURE YOU WANT? Let’s go and listen to non-moombaton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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Hey little baby, you gonna cry and write about your period in your diary? You gonna go in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you got a big dick or if you’re a girl that you have big fucking vagina? Is that something that girls care about? Who has the biggest vagina? Is that like some kind of secret sisterhood hierarchy? No? Have you guessed we’re all dudes by how misogynistic we are? Yes? What about applying your powers of deduction to deducing why these tracks are so hot. Which fucking tracks? THE ONES AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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Sometimes you have to listen to soundclouds and sometimes you have to pee. That is the choice of life. You can listen to soundclouds with pants that have been warmed and moistened by urine or you can make you way to the bathroom. There is no compromise. Life is a struggle. Have any of you ever been at job and tried like fuck to get ahead and then promised that you would and then they tell you that you were promoted but it’s a fake promotion where you just get a title and then you have to do the same job? That’s what the fuck happened to The Dirty Frenchman just 15 minutes ago. The true definition of bloodclaat bullshit. Let’s all pee our pants and enjoy some music AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP PUSSIES!

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Here’s a picture of those fucking Gooffee fucks tearing shit down at the FIRE SALE party we did on Saturday. Here’s that motherfucker Max Le Daron:

Yeah sure it’s a fucking Tuesday so we’ve had some time to recover but our heads still feel like rocks are inside. Thanks to these fucks for making the party amazing as fuck. How about we go grab some tunes and have ourselves a fucking time at our respective workplaces being tired and pretending to work but really looking at blogs. GO GRAB THAT SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!:

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Hey. How the fuck are all of you? That picture up there is of The Uproot Andy from the SLOWED party in Toronto last Saturday. Starting tomorrow we will be djing 3 nights in a fucking row. We’re gonna spin way better than that guy and by that we mean 50% as good because he murdered it. He’s really fucking good. Kudos again to The Torro Torros and Le Dew Its for promising him a happy ending massage to get him to play in this town. If you want succeed in fucking show business YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL! But rub and tugs aside, what with the whole UK moombahton spectacular and all that we’ve passed over a lot of good ass music that maybe you will like or maybe hate but whatever if you’re here you might as well listen because you’re a guest and it would be impolite so go listen to that shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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Radiokillaz. Have you heard of them yet? These guys are bass masters cranking out of master bass. Listen to this track. Now listen to this track. Are you convinced? No? Kill yourself. They got new EP out. Do you have it yet? No? Don’t kill yourself. Go grab the EP and then kill yourself. Or don’t. Or do but then don’t tell anyone we told you to. We don’t want your mom hating us yet. We still need to date her. And bathe with her. And listen to the Radiokillaz  London Sound EP with her because she likes drum & bass and breaks. We could light aromatherapy candles, throw some London Sound on the stereo and break fine china over each others heads. But enough about your mom. Go grab the EP. THE FUCKING LINKS TO BUY IT, THE FUCKING STREAMS AND A RIOTOUS FUCKING VIDEO ARE ALL AFTER THE JUMP. SO JUMP FUCKERS!

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Hello. Are you a baby? Do you need us to warm some milk up for you and put it in a bottle? Little baby gonna cry? Are you tired? Do you need to go to your crib? It’s too high for baby to reach to get in. Are you scared? Will the soundclouds help you? Are you cold? Are you hungry? Go to bed. Listen to music. AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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Haha! It is I! Fucking Shaquille O’Neal. I’m a fucking genie yo! Jump on my fucking carpet y’all! It’s gonna be a wild ride! Haha! Never a dull moment! Come on kids! Let’s do blow off of tits while we fly in the fucking air! It’s magic! Woohoo! Yeah! I’m so high! Fuck! It’s too fucking much. It’s so high up in this carpet! Look kids! It’s the fucking Statue of Fucking Liberty! Her tits are like the size of a building! Holy shit! Let’s listen fucking music kids! And then we’ll climb on the Statue of Liberty’s tits. You kids like tits right? Let’s go! Haha! MUSIC IS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!