Archive for the ‘big k.r.i.t.’ Tag

BASS MUSIC FOR CREEPS   Leave a comment

Where do you listen to music? The girl’s bathroom? The school playground? You’re a creep. Even if you’re a girl it’s kinda creepy unless you have a kid and the kid is playing on the playground and you happen to be there to look after the little fucker. But then even if that is the case, why do you have your headphones on? Maybe your kid is screaming. You’ll never hear them. You’re a bad mother. This is not Parenting Today. Is there a blog called Parenting Today? Who cares. Fuckers are here for some fucking tunes so why don’t we drop the pretense and get straight to the point. Just straight up bass music for your stupid asses. GO GRAB THOSE TUNES AFTER THE JUMP FUCK FACES!

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PENETRATION THURSDAYS   Leave a comment

BAM! Walmer is inside you now fuckers! How you like that? No vaseline. Ever. That’s the way we blog shit. Inside you. “This is Walmer reporting live from your vagina. The forecast is for wet weather.” Alright. Thanks. we’ll just keep on doing a bang up job. No fucking music commentary here. No “blah blah, really has been making a mark on the scene lately, blah blah”. No. We don’t do that. That is boring as fuck. Not to say that there are many blogs that are good that do that. But a lot are shit. We shit on them. Shit on shit. Just get fucking annoyed at the complete fucking lack of originality. “Here’s my blog! I have some cool looking pictures and gifs and then I say that this person is really making a mark or is up and coming”. Lick our blog balls. Whatever. GRAB A SHITLOAD OF TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!

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AFTER THE FIRE THERE ARE ONLY ASHES   Leave a comment

Here’s a picture of those fucking Gooffee fucks tearing shit down at the FIRE SALE party we did on Saturday. Here’s that motherfucker Max Le Daron:

Yeah sure it’s a fucking Tuesday so we’ve had some time to recover but our heads still feel like rocks are inside. Thanks to these fucks for making the party amazing as fuck. How about we go grab some tunes and have ourselves a fucking time at our respective workplaces being tired and pretending to work but really looking at blogs. GO GRAB THAT SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!:

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SOUDCLOUDS THAT STAND ON THE SHOULDERS OF GIANTS   Leave a comment

Hey cuntnuts? What did you do during the weekend? Did you have fun? Did you puke? Did you go to the bathroom outside of a bathroom? You are like a bird. A free bird. The bathroom is a cage you will never be confined to. You go when you like, where you like with dignity. There is no holding it in for you. You don’t hold in your emotions and you don’t hold in your pee or poo. You make the rules even while you break them. This is your music AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:

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SWAGCLOUDS   Leave a comment

Yo! Whatup fucks! This Jon The Bitchslapper Lovitz. Fuck you! Yeah! This is how I really fucking talk because I do a shitload of blow. You thought you knew me and then I’m like BOOOOYAAAAAH! Just like when you do blow off of a breast. In this case I’m not just the blow but I’m also the breast. That’s fucking right cunts. I give you the sweet milk of knowledge. Bwaahaha! Fuck! Shit. I’m fucking feeling so crazy. I think I did too much. Fuck. I hope I don’t die like Osama Bin Laden. Play these songs at my funeral AFTER THE JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS FROM YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES   Leave a comment

Hey fuckers! Are you a baby? How are you reading? You don’t even know math. You’re scared of cats. Babies don’t even have jobs. There’s only one conclusion, babies need to step their game up. What do you have to show for your lives babies? Are you just gonna let everyone else do all the work? Babies can’t even feed themselves. Babies don’t even know the true meaning of soundclouds or Christmas. Music is AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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