Archive for the ‘sbtrkt’ Tag

WEEKEND PARTY TIME FUCKFEST   Leave a comment

These people are fucking partying, who are they partying to? US FUCKERS! That’s who. We demolished 751 on Saturday like your dad demolished your mom and inpregnated her with you. That’s how we roll. At points bitches were dancing on tables and shit. Do we have photos of that? No. Are we lying then? You’ll never know. Whatever, we took a bunch of shitty pics. GO GRAB SOME FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP AND CHECK CRAPPY PICS OF THE BAD TASTE JAM! BIG UP STEVE ROCK OF THE GOOD KIDS FOR HAVING US!

Read the rest of this entry »

POST APOCALYPTIC BASS: NO MOOMBAH FUCKERS   Leave a comment

After the fucking apocalypse there will be no room for moombahton. No light-hearted fun at the end of the world. We will need bass and plenty of it. People who listen to moombahton after the apolcalypse will be moving too slow. Cannibals will easily catch up with them. People who are listening to bass may be moving even slower. But they will be heavily armed with axes and hammers. People who listen to moombahton will be armed with hugs. You can’t kill a person with hugs unless you are some kind of musclebound bohemoth. There are probably like 3 people in the world that like moombahton and are also musclebound bohemoths. They will be the only people to carry the moombahton torch into the future. They still might get fucking killed by a bunch of people who like bass music if those people gang up on them. HERE’S SOME BASS MUSIC TO BE PREPARED AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP:

Read the rest of this entry »

WALMER IS BACK IN BUSINESS! FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, YOU’RE COOL, FUCK YOU!   Leave a comment

There was a moment recently where assholes and assholettes were stuck reading earnest blogs that talk about music in a way that they want the artist’s dick (or vagina) in their mouth. It was a dark time. Posts on Walmer were sparse. That time is over. Vacation is finished. You wanna relax in the sun then go hang out with the old folks in Florida or take a fucking Carnival Cruise or some shit. This is not Club Med or Sandals resort. So much fucking shit came out while we were gone. This post will get some of the individual songs. We gonna make a post about EPs too. It’s gonna be a festival of light. Gonna be like a fucked up Diwali mixed with Easter and Kwanzaa. Let’s get to that shit after the jump and look forward to new exclusives and new parties this fucking fall. Watch out. Click to see the tracks AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

SOUNDCUNTS   Leave a comment

Hey bros! How many guitars do you need for your band? You don’t have enough. We can only count six. What kind of music do you fuckin’ make? Acoustic horsestep? That’s pretty slammin’. Those are fucking crazy horsestep costumes. Is that the new trend in clothing that identifies one as a genuine horsetepper who just fucking horsesteps all over the place and plays guitar until you puke? Wow, music is always changing so rapidly it’s hard to keep up. What are the soundclouds that you guys would recommend to the aspiring horsestepping kids out there? These ones? The one that are AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP? Cool bros.

Read the rest of this entry »

SWAGCLOUDS   Leave a comment

Yo! Whatup fucks! This Jon The Bitchslapper Lovitz. Fuck you! Yeah! This is how I really fucking talk because I do a shitload of blow. You thought you knew me and then I’m like BOOOOYAAAAAH! Just like when you do blow off of a breast. In this case I’m not just the blow but I’m also the breast. That’s fucking right cunts. I give you the sweet milk of knowledge. Bwaahaha! Fuck! Shit. I’m fucking feeling so crazy. I think I did too much. Fuck. I hope I don’t die like Osama Bin Laden. Play these songs at my funeral AFTER THE JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A SOUNDCLOUD BAR?   Leave a comment

Blazaaaaaaaaamm! Carrot Top in the hizzzzzzzzaaaaaay! The copper top is here to write for the Walmer Blizzzoog about the soundclouds that have changed my life more than cocaine and Amped energy drink (and roids). You can be sure that this post is gonna be total FTL, that’s famous talk for “for the ladies”, basically just like Carrot Top. LET’S DO THIS! JUST FUCKING YELLING CUZ I’M GETTING HYPED! One sec. Wait for it. OH YEAH! CLICK READ MORE! CRUSHING IT!

Read the rest of this entry »

THE DIRTY FRENCHMAN CAN’T GET THIS FUCKING SINDEN AND SBTRKT SONG OUT OF HIS HEAD!   Leave a comment

Sinden & Sbtrkt – Kind of Familiar (zshare)

Normally The Dirty Frenchman likes crazy hard music that bangs like a motherfucker. This song is not like that. This song has this slow build that is kind of ambient and never gets too crazy bu The Dirty Frenchman cannot shake it. That breakdown is just stuck in his mind as if it were some type of sonic zahir. It’s those damn pizzicato strings. Every 10 seconds they restart in his brain. Breaking him down. The math is all wrong though. He should not be so affected by this song. It is driving him to the edge of reason on the cliff tops of madness. If you see him riding his bike into a truck you will understand. Look at this Sbtrkt guy? He is a witch doctor:

Posted May 2, 2010 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

Tagged with , , , ,

%d bloggers like this: