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So this right here is the New Wave of Moombahton comp from The Generation Bass & Mixmagazine. Moombahton is a very long and storied genre so it was fucking obvious that after all the old farts that started this genre have gone on to bigger better things it was important to give a platform for the youthful new producers that have now begun to gain prominence in the historic genre and are helping to renew it and keep it fucking fresh. Whatever one thinks about the fucking reasoning, the compilation rocks harder than your mom gets rocked every night. And then harder than that. Some of these motherfuckers are turning into stars in their own right. If you don’t grab all these tracks then really you don’t like moombahton and if you don’t like moombahton then you don’t like life and if you don’t like life then kill yourself. To avoid ending your life prematurely you need to get this. They got fuckers like our Toronto boy Paul David on this shit, Kid Cedek, 2Deep, Chong X, STLKRFXXX, babySTEPS, Freaky Philip, Cabo Blanco and so many other assholes.

So take the razor blades off your arms and GO GRAB THIS COMP AFTER THE JUMP! LINK, TRACKLIST, AND SOME SOUNDCLOUD STREAMS ALL THERE FOR YOU CUNT MUNCHERS!

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I am Snoop fucking Dogg. I am so fucking old. I just discovered about moombahtons yesterday. My son told me about the moombahtons music. He’s 30 years old. That’s how fucking old I am. I smoke old people formula weed with viagra supplemented. I fuck these bitches and then I still got a hard on for 3 hours more. Sometimes I just get a bitch to sit on my dick for the rest of the time I have a hard on like that’s her fucking chair. That’s what I call Dogging it. Snoop Dogging it. But enough about me, what about the moombahtons. I only really like them to be honest because it make me feel relevant and like I’m still into shit that young people like. I also like the jukes music for that reason. I have to turn up the music really loud because my hearing is bad. I’m old. LET’S LISTEN TO A BUNCH OF MOOMBAHTON AND DOWNLOAD IT AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Spread our madness:

Hey! Assholes! What’s up! You know what these moombahton tracks are gonna do to you? Gonna bite your fucking ear off is what. Gonna have a fucking piece of your ear missing. That will be your life. You can either deal with it or cry like a baby. An ear-less baby. Nobody wants an ear-less baby. Those get returned to the vagina in exchange for another baby. Because that how pregnancy works. Either that or a fucking bird brings your baby. Bird shit baby. Anyway. Enough about birds and babies. Let’s listen to some moombahton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:

Spread our madness:

Did you know that when you put your ear up against a Grammy award you can hear the sound of money being printed? Oh hi. Didn’t see you there. I’m David Oswald Guetta. Did you make it to the party last night? It was fucked. There was blow everywhere. It was as if the party was held in a snow globe. A snow globe that gets you high. It was crazy.

There was like some astro-space black dude there who djed with me called Bill-I-Am and he is from a place called Black Iced Peace. He is a pretty cool for an alien. He did the most blow of all of us. What a champ. We didn’t play any of these songs that are posted AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP! We just listened Sean Kingston sing all of Justin Bieber’s songs while Fergie shot ping pong balls out of her asshole and pussy at the same time.

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Yo! Whatup fucks! This Jon The Bitchslapper Lovitz. Fuck you! Yeah! This is how I really fucking talk because I do a shitload of blow. You thought you knew me and then I’m like BOOOOYAAAAAH! Just like when you do blow off of a breast. In this case I’m not just the blow but I’m also the breast. That’s fucking right cunts. I give you the sweet milk of knowledge. Bwaahaha! Fuck! Shit. I’m fucking feeling so crazy. I think I did too much. Fuck. I hope I don’t die like Osama Bin Laden. Play these songs at my funeral AFTER THE JUMP!

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Hello everyone. My fucking name is Eddie Griffin. You might remember me from the fact that I played in commercial cinema films a number of years back. Now my job is to smoke cigars for money. I also like to listen to the soundclouds on the world wide web. There are so many things you can find if you like to surf it. It blows my mind sometimes like a spliff. Do you have any work for me? Can I get a light for my cigar? You want to smoke a spliff? I got some papers if you have some chrons. What are you talking about saying no? I saw you had some weed earlier. You sure you need to leave? What about these tunes? AFTER THE JUMP!

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When was the last time you shit your pants? 10 years ago? 15 years ago? 1 year ago? If you answered yes to the last one then you have a problem. You are either a baby, a homeless person or a human vegetable. If that is the case we ask: How did you manage to go on the internet, find this blog and be able to read it? You should not be able to do that. Science just won’t fucking allow it. Stop disrespecting science and get yourself a fucking job and a sense of respect.

Anyway maybe one of you will shit your pants tomorrow. Whoever shits their pants next and can prove it to us wins a full writeup on the Walmer Blog. You could get a write up as a dj or music producer or maybe as a janitor or as a person that stands on a bridge over the freeway yelling at cars. You could be a star. Music is after THE FUCKING JUMP…

Spread our madness:

Hey bros! Do you like pogs? We don’t because we’re adults. But maybe you are a child. What are you doing here? Your parents have really dropped the ball if you are here. They’re like “We don’t fuckin’ care. Look at whatever you want. What would you like to drink? Vodka? Beer?”. You’re pretty cool kids though if that is what you are. Maybe in a few years you can be like French Fries here. Seems like just yesterday he was coming out of his mom’s vagina and now look at him: killing a crowd in Toronto in a Chinese restaurant. Good to the Mansions and the Earmilks for having him come down and play the music even though he was ill. The Dirty Frenchman got so drunk he couldn’t fucking eat until 8pm the next day. You could live that life one day kids. MUSIC AFTER THAT JUMP YOU CUNTS!…

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Well hello there children. My name is Reginald VelJohnson. What the fuck is going on with you guys? Are there strippers here? I like ladies that hate clothes and show off their punanis for money. It’s capitalism and not some kind of communist bullshit. In fucking Soviet Russia you’d go to a strip club and the most you’d get are nips and that would cost you extra. What kind of a system is that? No way. Not on my watch. You know that they said that when Family Matters started up, the people of Soviet fucking Russia saw a new way of life and that’s when the changes started happening there. That’s what I’ve heard people say. Nah! Don’t fucking thank me. It was a team effort that show. Everyone had a part to play and everyone just nailed it day in and day out. Showbusiness history. They don’t fucking make them like that anymore, no sir. They sure fucking don’t. Working with Jaleel, you know Jaleel White? That was just a pleasure. Every fucking show, we’d just learn something new. Just feed off each other. It was like jazz. Anyway, enough about me. Let’s get down to the music AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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When I fucking won my Las Vegas Film Critics Society Award for Best Supporting Actor because I played in the fucking Hours, Chicago and Gangs of New York I never let it get to my fucking head. No way. The only thing that gets to my head is blow and pussy. By the way, I John C Reilly, guest blogger for the third time at the Walmer Convenience blog. I bought this jaunty fucking hat so that chicks would look at me and say “That guy gives a fuck, but he doesn’t give a fuck, but he also cares” and you know what that means: bango! That’s like the new catch phrase I’m working on and trying to fit in all my conversations. It’s a mix of “bingo” and “bang” and you’re supposed to say it when you know for sure a chick is ready to fuck, or if a chick just did a line of blow off your dick. You just go like: Bango!. You get it? Fuck! How many times do I have to explain it to people? Anyway, here’s some fucking tunes AFTER THE JUMP: