Archive for the ‘major lazer’ Tag

DON’T BREAK THE INTERNETS   Leave a comment

Hey you! Fucking Americans! Yeah! Don’t break the fucking internets! Tell your fucking Congressman and Senator to fucking vote against it because you will ruin the internets for everyone. Like literally the whole fucking world. We will all fucking hate you. No music blogs will exist. We Walmer will personally hate you. If given the chance we would go to every citizen of the USA and tell them “Fuck you” if PIPA and SOPA pass. Even if you were obviously not directly responsible for it passing if you did nothing to try and stop it your are guilty in some way. Google makes it really easy to do.

AFTER YOU SIGN THE FUCKING PETITION GO GRAB SOME FUCKING MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP ASSMUNCHERS!

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NEW YEAR/NEW BASS   Leave a comment

Don’t know what the fuck that picture is supposed to be. Like is it the Moon hitting the Earth or is it like Uranus? Is that how it ends? We are hit by Uranus? Your anus? Fuck. Or maybe nothing will happen. Maybe you will still have to work at your dead end job for the next 20 years. Maybe there will be no end. You will still be single in 2012. Did you ever imagine that there would be an apocalypse and society would crumble and that you wouldn’t have to go to fucking work and maybe you would join some rebel group and be a hero/finally step up your game? It might never happen. You may not become some kind of post-apocalyptic fuckmaster/hero.

In the meantime why don’t we go out and grab some fucking bass music and remember the peeps we lost in 2011. LET’S GO FUCKING DO THIS SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!

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THE SOUNDCLOUDS YOU FOUND IN THE TOILET   1 comment

It was just a normal time in the toilet for you. You were like “What could go wrong? I’m just doing some blow and getting the fuck out of here just like every lunchtime.” You wanted peace and quiet. You didn’t want your friends to walk in. But you heard something. You heard noises coming from the toilet. No one was taking a shit. It didn’t make sense. You looked in. You discovered the secret. The toilet was filled with soundclouds. It didn’t make sense but it did. You were dancing to the beat. Doing blow to the beat. You went back to work and had the best fucking day of your life. Printed out so many fucking files. But what were the soundclouds that you heard? GO GRAB THE FUCK OUT OF THOSE SOUNDCLOUDS AFTER THE JUMP!

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NO MOOMBAHTON MONDAYS   Leave a comment

As is not the tradition on Mondays, we are gonna do an all non-moombahton post because we don’t want fuckers to think we’re some kind of all moombahton blog and just send us moombahton and nothing else because that would be sad and then we would only have that in our lives and die probably from fucking moombah overdose. IT WOULD ALL BE YOUR FAULT! You would probably go to jail and become someone’s bitch and have penis in your mouth all day long. IS THAT THE FUTURE YOU WANT? Let’s go and listen to non-moombaton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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MOOMBAHTON FUCKING EAR BEATDOWN   Leave a comment

Hey! Assholes! What’s up! You know what these moombahton tracks are gonna do to you? Gonna bite your fucking ear off is what. Gonna have a fucking piece of your ear missing. That will be your life. You can either deal with it or cry like a baby. An ear-less baby. Nobody wants an ear-less baby. Those get returned to the vagina in exchange for another baby. Because that how pregnancy works. Either that or a fucking bird brings your baby. Bird shit baby. Anyway. Enough about birds and babies. Let’s listen to some moombahton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:

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WHERE BASS AND YOUR MOM’S PUSSY MEET   Leave a comment

Which came first: bass or your mom’s pussy? The answer may surprise you. Or not. Maybe you already know. You are like an expert in that shit. You also are an expert in farts that hiss out of your ass and for some reason last like a whole fucking minute. You have your likes and you specialties. Who are we to tell you how to live your life? Anyway, maybe you need to shift your focus and concentrate on other things like music. Maybe these tunes will inspire you to change your life and become a doctor or architect. Maybe they will convince you to climb back up your mom’s pussy. THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO KNOW! GO CHECK OUT THE FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP! Read the rest of this entry »

SOUNDCLOUDS OF MURDER. ALSO, YOUR MOM.   Leave a comment

Hey there fucknuts! What is happening in your lives? Did you have a good weekend? Did you have a terrible weekend? Did you get peed on? It’s possible. Sometimes people get peed on. Sometimes they ask for it. Maybe you did. It’s alright. You are not so weird. You are definitely weird but not so weird. Like there are weirder people than you. The Dirty Frenchman probably does some weird ass shit. We don’t even want to know about his life. There are probably terrible things involved. Don’t ask. Let’s look at brighter things. There was a lot of amazing music that came out recently. Why don’t you give it a listen AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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