Archive for the ‘neki’ Tag

WHEN SOUNDCLOUDS RULED THE EARTH   Leave a comment

There is a part of your mom’s uterus where soundclouds are made by tiny elves working night and day. The craft the soundclouds with their tiny fingers making sure that every single one is unique like a snowflake. That’s the story of soundclouds. do you like it? No? Shut up. We are not inventing another one. Anyway, we don’t have much more to say so here are some tunes. Some days we just feel like phoning it in alright. Some days we just need to make edits instead of originals. Inside joke. MUSIC IS AFTER THE JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

CLOUDFUCKERS OF SOUND   Leave a comment

Has your face ever melted off like it was made of wax? If not then you have never lived and also you have never died so maybe you just come out even steven as the kids like to say nowadays. You know what else those pesky kids like? They like music. They fucking play it out of their Sony™ Discman players. Don’t they care about their hearing? Fucking assholes. Anyway this probably what they play in their Discmen (is that a real thing?) AFTER THE JUMP CUNTS!

Read the rest of this entry »

LE WEDNESDAY DE SOUNDCLOUD SUPER   Leave a comment

Ah, Paris in the springtime. When soundclouds fuck and have babies. This picture depicts what happens to Paris when soundclouds fuck and doves cry. The Eiffel Tower falls down and then no one can go up it and they just have to use it as a bridge to cross the fucking river. If you are gonna cross that long twisted bridge then you will need some music and you can listen to some soundclouds. Super fucking soundcoulds. On Wednesday. Let them molest your ears with their sound AFTER THAT JUMP YOU CUNTEATERS!

Read the rest of this entry »

ETERNAL SOUNCLOUDS OF THE SPOTLESS MIND   Leave a comment

Hi I’m James Carrey writing for the Walmer Convenience Musical Blog. I love the musics more than I love life. If there were no musics I would kill myself. If you take away the musics you take away the James Carrey. I make it simple for you. But this is not a matter of lifes or deaths. This is a matter of soundclouds. They are the best thing I listen to on my free times. Sometimes I make the pictures of the feelings the sounds make in my thoughts. I make jokes but I make art. Jokes + artist = jartist. Listen to the songs of my heart AFTER THE JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

SUPER SOUNDCLOUD WEDNESDAY OF FUCK!   3 comments

We don’t know why we call this “Super Soundcloud Wednesday”. We post soundclouds all the time. Nothing special there. But we still call it that. So get used to it. Life is best if you don’t ask questions. Life is best if you shut up. But keep your ears open because sometimes you might hear some good fucking music. Or maybe you won’t. Maybe you hate all the stuff we post and you make sure to visit our blog everyday to be like “look at this crap, these guys are stupid cunt motherfuckers that like garbage tunes from shitonia”. Well thanks for boosting our traffic. MUSIC IS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

SWAGCLOUDS   Leave a comment

Yo! Whatup fucks! This Jon The Bitchslapper Lovitz. Fuck you! Yeah! This is how I really fucking talk because I do a shitload of blow. You thought you knew me and then I’m like BOOOOYAAAAAH! Just like when you do blow off of a breast. In this case I’m not just the blow but I’m also the breast. That’s fucking right cunts. I give you the sweet milk of knowledge. Bwaahaha! Fuck! Shit. I’m fucking feeling so crazy. I think I did too much. Fuck. I hope I don’t die like Osama Bin Laden. Play these songs at my funeral AFTER THE JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

THIS FRIDAY FUCKERS!   Leave a comment

Hey bitches! What the fuck are you doing today? If you are in Canada then you should fucking vote because it’s super cool to do it! Like, only the most awesome swaggerrific people vote and that’s who you are. Right? That totally got you fucking motivated to vote. Anyway. That wasn’t even the fucking point of this post. We are just taken in by the magic of the political process. No. The point is to go to our Walm-Art event at the Port Gallery this Friday. Gonna be some amazing artwork and some fantastic music.

CLICK HERE TO ATTEND SIRS AND FUCKING MADAMS

Now, what music was made by fuckers recently? Maybe you will find some AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

THE SOUND THAT FUCKS THE CRADLE   Leave a comment

There are so many songs in the world that sometimes we just want to go crazy. It’s like American Beauty except it should be called Canadian Beauty and it should star us instead of Kevin Spacey and some has-beens (or just all has-beens). Whatever. Relax. Play some music. Do a line of blow off a breast. Take a chill pill. Take a fuck pill like the viagras. Want some tunes? THEY’RE AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP PERVERTS!

Read the rest of this entry »

SUPER FUCKING SOUNDCLOUD WEDNESDAY!   Leave a comment

Hey you fucking fucks! What a time to be alive. We have Microsoft Zunes™ we have Coke Zero™ and now we have a new EP from the super moombahton bros themselves Heartbreak and Munchi. In East Timor people are making thousands of feet of popcorn garlands in celebration. In Moldova they have declared today a national holiday. But there is so much more great music as well out there. Why don”t we all fucking gather round and take a look at it together like a family. A terrible, drug addled family. Join us on this magical journey AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

SOUNDCLOUDS JUST WASHED UP ON THE FUCKING SHORE   Leave a comment

After the Japan nuclear crisis all these radioactive soundclouds started washing up in your mom’s vagina and polluting the delicate ecosystem contained therein. You tried to do all you could during the cleanup: you gizzed into the water, you smoked cigarettes and ashed into it, you even poured bleach in it to get rid of the stains but nothing worked. There is no more hope and now you just have to make do with the new reality. Music is AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

%d bloggers like this: