Archive for the ‘garage’ Tag

WEDNESDAY BONUS BASS!   Leave a comment

So it’s been a moombah (also known as moom moom)  fuckfest this week. Lots of new shit. But there is other great shit in other genres that we have had to ignore. So this is the time we are posting that shit. A person cannot live off moombahton alone. You would be going to slow. You would be late all the time. But you would still not be relaxed because you would still be going faster than rap or other bass musics. So let’s grab thos fucking tunes and pretend we have a wide spectrum of tastes beyond moombah based musics AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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GET THE FREE HUSH HUSH PONY EP   Leave a comment

These are some kind of Polish dudes or some shit like that. They released a free track a few months ago that we rinsed during New Year’s weekend (grab it here). That shit follows in that same Uk Garage style. The way to best appreciate this EP is to grab some NyQuil, drink half the bottle and chase it with some Hennessy™. GRAB IT AFTER THE JUMP FUCKERS!

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Posted January 6, 2012 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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WE FUCKIN WITH THE TIGORILLA SPACE JUNGA EP   1 comment

You know what the fuck is good? This fucking EP is good. Do you like bass? Yes? Then you have to download this shit. There is no maybe. Do you like maybe? If you asked us a question, would you want us to reply “maybe”? No you wouldn’t. There are some great master bass crafters here. Who? Well there is the winner of our last who is best competition Go Buck! (who probably cheated). There is Nader, Stlkrfxxx/David Beltran (formerly of the Starfoxxxes), Flubba and then these other dudes who we don’t know like Kid Quest and Stupidrichkidz. Why all the kids? Anyway, go grab the whole thing because it’s free like the air you breath AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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TERROR TONE IS GONNA DROP AN EP AUGUST 8TH. WILL YOU BE THERE?   Leave a comment

Do not adjust your screen. I’m not a lesbian. No. I’m celebrity dj Paul Oakenfold™. I fuckin’ play Will Smith’s birthday parties. I fuckin’ play clubs in Ibiza where they have blow parties and Richard Gere is putting blow into hamsters and then putting the hamsters into his asshole. That’s Ibiza. That’s fucking life. But I’m not just here to talk about Richard Gere’s asshole. No way. Not today. I’m here to talk about the man from Toronto named Terror Tone. He likes to make the bass music. You probably think I only like trance or other shitty music, but I don’t just like that drivel. I also am a fan of the future garage and the bassline and the United Kingdom Funky musical style. Terror Tone’s Bad Love EP  is some good ass shit in that style. But don’t take my fucking word for it, Paul Oakenfold’s word. No. Listen to it yourself AFTER THAT FUCKING JUMP and buy The Bad Love EP on the Beatport or the iTunes or the Juno Download on August 8th:

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DID YOU GO TO THE PARTY LAST NIGHT?   1 comment

Did you know that when you put your ear up against a Grammy award you can hear the sound of money being printed? Oh hi. Didn’t see you there. I’m David Oswald Guetta. Did you make it to the party last night? It was fucked. There was blow everywhere. It was as if the party was held in a snow globe. A snow globe that gets you high. It was crazy.


There was like some astro-space black dude there who djed with me called Bill-I-Am and he is from a place called Black Iced Peace. He is a pretty cool for an alien. He did the most blow of all of us. What a champ. We didn’t play any of these songs that are posted AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP! We just listened Sean Kingston sing all of Justin Bieber’s songs while Fergie shot ping pong balls out of her asshole and pussy at the same time.

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FUCKING SO HUNGOVER FUCKING SOUNDCLOUDS ARE TOO LOUD BUT GOTTA POST THEM   1 comment

Hey look at this shit here fuckers! It’s motherfucking Billy the Gent of the District of Columbia spinning musics who is a gentleman and a fucking moombahscholar. Shit is real up in here. Or rather was real. This was last night at the fucking  S L O W E D party at the Crawford in Toronto where we got to meet the fucking Torro Torroses and the Dos Mundoses and the Billy the Gentses and all the other moombahfuckers in Toronto. It was like a family picnic where all the food was booze and everyone ate too much. Here are your fucking soundclouds. Leave us alone. We are sick. Our shits are terrible. CLICK AFTER THE JUMP!

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SOUNDCUNTS   Leave a comment

Hey bros! How many guitars do you need for your band? You don’t have enough. We can only count six. What kind of music do you fuckin’ make? Acoustic horsestep? That’s pretty slammin’. Those are fucking crazy horsestep costumes. Is that the new trend in clothing that identifies one as a genuine horsetepper who just fucking horsesteps all over the place and plays guitar until you puke? Wow, music is always changing so rapidly it’s hard to keep up. What are the soundclouds that you guys would recommend to the aspiring horsestepping kids out there? These ones? The one that are AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP? Cool bros.

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