Archive for the ‘dr gonzo’ Tag

SOUNDCLOUDS YOU CAN’T TOUCH   1 comment

Maybe you are expecting something clever right now. Maybe that is not possible. Maybe we went out and scouted a place for our next party. Maybe we did blow at some point and had a number of beers. Maybe we are fucking dead inside now at work pretending to be normal people talking to our fucking boss and discussing projected revenue and then in our heads we’re like “I do fucking blow man. I can’t fucking deal with this shit.” That’s our lives. We’re having a fucking meeting and we’re pointing at charts and graphs and shit and we get a drip from the night before fall down our throats and you gotta keep your fucking composure. But anyway. Enough of that. There are soundclouds to blog. Grab them, listen to them, fuck them AFTER THE JUMP ASSHOLES!

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FRIDAY NIGHT IN FRONT OF THE GARBAGE   Leave a comment

Some kids hung out in front of the coffee shop or the convenience store. You fucking hung out in front of the fucking garbage. That was your home away from home. You always wondered “What are people gonna put in there next?” Life was just a string of endless surprise and wonder. You ever took to calling them “The Wonder Years”. The night was always your favourite time. Such strange shit would get put in there. Syringes, used condoms, dead cats and much more. It was like a terrible Christmas. But it couldn’t last forever. One day they took the garbage away and moved that shit to another corner. You were fucking heartbroken. You tried to follow it. Other kids were hanging around it. They kicked your fucking ass. Now you walk the streets lost. Last Thursday you spent 3 hours holding your gun in your hand, thinking: What if? LIFT YOUR SPIRITS WITH THESE FUCKING TRACKS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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WALMER IS BACK IN BUSINESS! FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, YOU’RE COOL, FUCK YOU!   Leave a comment

There was a moment recently where assholes and assholettes were stuck reading earnest blogs that talk about music in a way that they want the artist’s dick (or vagina) in their mouth. It was a dark time. Posts on Walmer were sparse. That time is over. Vacation is finished. You wanna relax in the sun then go hang out with the old folks in Florida or take a fucking Carnival Cruise or some shit. This is not Club Med or Sandals resort. So much fucking shit came out while we were gone. This post will get some of the individual songs. We gonna make a post about EPs too. It’s gonna be a festival of light. Gonna be like a fucked up Diwali mixed with Easter and Kwanzaa. Let’s get to that shit after the jump and look forward to new exclusives and new parties this fucking fall. Watch out. Click to see the tracks AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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DID YOU GO TO THE PARTY LAST NIGHT?   1 comment

Did you know that when you put your ear up against a Grammy award you can hear the sound of money being printed? Oh hi. Didn’t see you there. I’m David Oswald Guetta. Did you make it to the party last night? It was fucked. There was blow everywhere. It was as if the party was held in a snow globe. A snow globe that gets you high. It was crazy.


There was like some astro-space black dude there who djed with me called Bill-I-Am and he is from a place called Black Iced Peace. He is a pretty cool for an alien. He did the most blow of all of us. What a champ. We didn’t play any of these songs that are posted AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP! We just listened Sean Kingston sing all of Justin Bieber’s songs while Fergie shot ping pong balls out of her asshole and pussy at the same time.

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SOUNDCLOUDS OF MURDER. ALSO, YOUR MOM.   Leave a comment

Hey there fucknuts! What is happening in your lives? Did you have a good weekend? Did you have a terrible weekend? Did you get peed on? It’s possible. Sometimes people get peed on. Sometimes they ask for it. Maybe you did. It’s alright. You are not so weird. You are definitely weird but not so weird. Like there are weirder people than you. The Dirty Frenchman probably does some weird ass shit. We don’t even want to know about his life. There are probably terrible things involved. Don’t ask. Let’s look at brighter things. There was a lot of amazing music that came out recently. Why don’t you give it a listen AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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UNSOUNDCLOUDS   Leave a comment

Hey bros and brosettes. What’s up? That picture is your brain normally.  Your brain on Walmer is even worse. It’s not even a fucking brain anymore. It’s more like a foot or a slice of ham or drool. Your brain is drool. Are you proud. How the fuck are you gonna graduate from law school now. You won’t even graduate from fail school. You’re so bad at failing you succeed. Whatever. How about some music? HERE IT IS AFTER THE JUMP!

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TAKE THESE SONGS AND CALL US IN THE MORNING FUCKERS   Leave a comment

This train is you life. The building is your dignity. Your life smashes through your dignity. What does that mean? Does it mean that one of your family members will eventually live in a trailer park? Does it mean that one day CSIs will be asking for your bodily fluids? Maybe it just means that you’ll live a normal life working at Ikea helping people to obtain and construct affordable furniture. Maybe you should just listen to these songs AFTER THE JUMP…

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