Archive for the ‘jack beats’ Tag

MOOMBAHTON FUCKING EAR BEATDOWN   Leave a comment

Hey! Assholes! What’s up! You know what these moombahton tracks are gonna do to you? Gonna bite your fucking ear off is what. Gonna have a fucking piece of your ear missing. That will be your life. You can either deal with it or cry like a baby. An ear-less baby. Nobody wants an ear-less baby. Those get returned to the vagina in exchange for another baby. Because that how pregnancy works. Either that or a fucking bird brings your baby. Bird shit baby. Anyway. Enough about birds and babies. Let’s listen to some moombahton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:

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GET PICKSTER’S THE RISE OF MOOMBAHTON   1 comment

Pop quiz hotshot! The Pickster comp “The Rise Of Moombahton: Today We Were Kings” comes at your fucking face at 60 miles per hour. What do you do? Boom! Trick question. It’s music. You put it onto your computer and you dj that shit til your hands, ears and eyes bleed. This comp will not wash your fucking car and finger your girlfriend while you watch CSI: Miami. No. But it’s gonna donkey punch your senses and give your brain a dirty sanchez. Who the fuck is on this? Pickster? Melo? Sluggo? Ledoom? Mendez? ETC!ETC! Chong X? Jon Kwest? Jay Fay? Skinny Friedman? Jake Twell? Jamrock? Javier Estrada? UFO!? Apt One? Bro Safari? Other dudes we don’t know? You would be ok with just one of these dudes on some shit but now you got them all in one place and it becomes fucking explosive. So do what you have to do. Take the fucking Nestea™ plunge into this shit. You’ll be covered in ice tea but you’ll be loving your fucking life. GRAB THE COMP AND STREAM THE FUCK OUT OF IT AFTER THE JUMP FUCK FACES!

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PENETRATION THURSDAYS   Leave a comment

BAM! Walmer is inside you now fuckers! How you like that? No vaseline. Ever. That’s the way we blog shit. Inside you. “This is Walmer reporting live from your vagina. The forecast is for wet weather.” Alright. Thanks. we’ll just keep on doing a bang up job. No fucking music commentary here. No “blah blah, really has been making a mark on the scene lately, blah blah”. No. We don’t do that. That is boring as fuck. Not to say that there are many blogs that are good that do that. But a lot are shit. We shit on them. Shit on shit. Just get fucking annoyed at the complete fucking lack of originality. “Here’s my blog! I have some cool looking pictures and gifs and then I say that this person is really making a mark or is up and coming”. Lick our blog balls. Whatever. GRAB A SHITLOAD OF TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!

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