Archive for the ‘nastynasty’ Tag

NEW YEAR/NEW BASS   Leave a comment

Don’t know what the fuck that picture is supposed to be. Like is it the Moon hitting the Earth or is it like Uranus? Is that how it ends? We are hit by Uranus? Your anus? Fuck. Or maybe nothing will happen. Maybe you will still have to work at your dead end job for the next 20 years. Maybe there will be no end. You will still be single in 2012. Did you ever imagine that there would be an apocalypse and society would crumble and that you wouldn’t have to go to fucking work and maybe you would join some rebel group and be a hero/finally step up your game? It might never happen. You may not become some kind of post-apocalyptic fuckmaster/hero.

In the meantime why don’t we go out and grab some fucking bass music and remember the peeps we lost in 2011. LET’S GO FUCKING DO THIS SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!

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ASSORTED BASS & CLUB   Leave a comment

On the outskirts of Calcutta there is a dump where people leave their used up bass. Living in the dump are a group of dedicated workers who collect this bass, this assorted bass, and put the different pieces back together and make new bass shit with it. This has been going on for generations and is the most important source of music up in this bitch. Maybe you would like to take a journey in to this garbage dump. Dive and swim inside. Do blow in the garbage dump. Fuck a girl maybe. Or if you are a girl you can fuck a man there. Or if you are gay you can do the opposite. But whatever you do, you do it in a garbage dump. GO GRAB THOSE FUCKING TRACKS AFTER THE JUMP CUNT MASTERS!

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Remember how’s there’s music other than moombahton? Like house or dubstep or or shit like goa-trance (your favourite). All that seems to come out right now is moombahton. There have been like 50 fucking EPs in the last week. We need to escape from moombahton for a while. You can listen to other music and do fucking other drugs. Try mixing house music and blow. Try melding dubstep and heroine. Anything is possible. Use crystal meth around the edge of a pussy for flavour. So many recipes you can try at home. Martha Stewart. CHECK OUT A SHITLOAD OF TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!

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Did you know that when you put your ear up against a Grammy award you can hear the sound of money being printed? Oh hi. Didn’t see you there. I’m David Oswald Guetta. Did you make it to the party last night? It was fucked. There was blow everywhere. It was as if the party was held in a snow globe. A snow globe that gets you high. It was crazy.

There was like some astro-space black dude there who djed with me called Bill-I-Am and he is from a place called Black Iced Peace. He is a pretty cool for an alien. He did the most blow of all of us. What a champ. We didn’t play any of these songs that are posted AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP! We just listened Sean Kingston sing all of Justin Bieber’s songs while Fergie shot ping pong balls out of her asshole and pussy at the same time.

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Hey kids! There’s a new fuckin beat that’s sweeping the nation! It’s called soundclouding. It’s a fucking tubular ass time. You listen to musics on the internets that are fresh and too legit to quit. You can tweet them to your mom so your whole fucking family can enjoy the tunes. Way better than pogs. Way cleaner than your mom’s vagina. Jump on the craze AFTER THE JUMP! Cowabunga!

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