Archive for the ‘lil wayne’ Tag

MOOMBAHRAPE   1 comment

With this new onslaught of moombah, there is no other option except to pick up the pieces, gather up your belongings and make a new fucking life for yourself on the other side of the world. The worst part is, that you could never escape the pain. Moombahton started being played in that new place that you moved to. Your friends would be like “Let’s fucking go out and get drunk and do blow and shit.” You went out and they started playing fucking moombahton at the club. Instead of doing the blow the right way you would breath it out because you were all scared and shit. Your friends got fucking pissed. They punched your face. You lost teeth. Your dental bills increased. You became homeless. That was your life. You got raped. WHY DON’T WE GO LISTEN TO A SHITLOAD OF MOOMBAHTON AFTER THE JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

IT’S THE FUCKING MOOMBAHTON ON A FUCKING MONDAY   Leave a comment

Let’s just drop the pretense, drop the jokes but let’s not drop the fucking ball on this shit. What we got here is one big heaping spoonful of moombah heat. He don’t bother with a post on each track. Why waste your time? Do you want us to tell you that we like this music? Of course we fucking do. That’s why we posted it. So just check these the fuck out. Smoke a fat ass joint and enjoy the fuck out of your day. LET’S GO FUCK WITH SOME MOOMBAH GOODNESS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

NEW FUCKING MUSIC TO MAKE YOU COOL   1 comment

You all want to be cool. All of you fuckers. Admit it. Even if you say you don’t care about being cool it’s just so that you can look cool. You can’t escape. So if that’s your fucking goal than why don’t we watch this video from Malcolm Jamal Warner of TV’s the Cosby Show. You will definitely be fucking cool if you do these things. Especially if you are an adult.

Alright now we’re totally fucking ready to take on the world!

But now that you have this new swag, you need some good tunes to go with it. GO GRAB THOSE FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP FUCKERS!

Read the rest of this entry »

MOOMBAHFUCKING ALL NIGHT LONG   Leave a comment

I am Snoop fucking Dogg. I am so fucking old. I just discovered about moombahtons yesterday. My son told me about the moombahtons music. He’s 30 years old. That’s how fucking old I am. I smoke old people formula weed with viagra supplemented. I fuck these bitches and then I still got a hard on for 3 hours more. Sometimes I just get a bitch to sit on my dick for the rest of the time I have a hard on like that’s her fucking chair. That’s what I call Dogging it. Snoop Dogging it. But enough about me, what about the moombahtons. I only really like them to be honest because it make me feel relevant and like I’m still into shit that young people like. I also like the jukes music for that reason. I have to turn up the music really loud because my hearing is bad. I’m old. LET’S LISTEN TO A BUNCH OF MOOMBAHTON AND DOWNLOAD IT AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

NO MOOMBAHTON ALLOWED   2 comments

Do you want moombahton? There is no moombahton in this post. You came to the wrong place. Turn around. Go back to where ever you came from. We can’t post moombahton all the time everyday. No. You gotta break the addiction. Walmer Convenience is not some kind of “moombah-only” blog. We have fucking horizons. We have dreams. Don’t put us in some kind of moombahton box. Boom! That’s all we fucking feel like writing so go fuck yourselves looking for laughs and shit. GO GRAB ALL NON-MOOMBAHTON SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!:

Read the rest of this entry »

THE RETURN OF SOUNDCLOUDS   2 comments

Hey bitch suckers. What the fuck is going the fuck on? What the fuck has gone wrong with this place? Are we some kind of legitimate blog or something that posts actual releases by fuckers instead of just a fucking bunch of soundclouds with swearing and stills from stupid 1980’s films? NO! We are not. We are just a bunch of fucking hacks who don’t do any fucking analysis and say stupid shit and generally bring down the ART and SCIENCE of musical blogging. Music blogging is obviously the most noble of mostly unpaid professions. Anyway. Let’s just stop talking about that stuff and focus instead on music and your mom’s pussy. The most important things. LET’S FUCKING DO THIS AFTER THE JUMP CUNT LICKERS!

Read the rest of this entry »

BIG SOUNDCLOUDS IN LITTLE CHINA   Leave a comment

Enchanté! Karl Lagerfeld taught me that that’s how motherfuckers say “Hi” in Germany. Crazy eh? By the way, I’m noted American thespian Curtis James Jackson III. Hahaha! Friends, Romans, Countrymen! Lend me your ears! That’s acting! That’s how you do it! I live in fucking Connecticut now! Grey Poupon fuckers! I just eat a whole jar of that shit to show how rich I am. Use that shit as fuckin moisturizer too. Fuckin burns my fuckin face. I feed lobster to my dogs. I drive around the fuckin golf course in a Cadillac. That my fuckin golf cart. I have to pay for the whole golf course to be replanted with grass every time I play. That’s my fucking life. Don’t wear it out. Fuck yeah. Check out these fucking songs AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

AFTER THE FIRE THERE ARE ONLY ASHES   Leave a comment

Here’s a picture of those fucking Gooffee fucks tearing shit down at the FIRE SALE party we did on Saturday. Here’s that motherfucker Max Le Daron:

Yeah sure it’s a fucking Tuesday so we’ve had some time to recover but our heads still feel like rocks are inside. Thanks to these fucks for making the party amazing as fuck. How about we go grab some tunes and have ourselves a fucking time at our respective workplaces being tired and pretending to work but really looking at blogs. GO GRAB THAT SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!:

Read the rest of this entry »

SUPER FUCKING SPECIAL GUEST POST – POP CULTURE CARE PACKAGE PRESENTS: THE BRYAN ADAMS GUIDE TO UK MOOMBAHTON   5 comments

Hey, Walmer fans, Bryan Adams here! How’s it going over there in Canadialand? Actually, don’t tell me, I don’t give even 5% of a fuck. Seriously . That’s why I left that shithole to come live here in the UK, leaving you lot swimming in a massive puddle of your own chezelagnia filth until you can come to terms with the fact that you’ll never be American. Man, this place pisses on your dump – right now I’m at the vinegar strokes with that Kelly Brook lady and whoever that foxy lady is who’s in the Harry Potter films – yeah, Dame Maggie Smith. You know it. And the best thing? They give you a butler who’ll wipe the manjam from your old chap with one of the Queen’s swans while Sting holds your coat. Sweet.

Actually, I don’t know why I’m bothering to write this, I bet you’re too busy being tromboned by a grizzly bear or getting all the fucking poutine out your beard so you can get on with finishing your Wayne Gretzky fan porn. Anyway, if you could just stop licking Celine Dion’s sweaty lady marmalade off Jim Carrey’s perineum for  just one fucking second, I’d like to let you know about all the great moombahtons they got over here in that UK – well, I won’t, cos  like the rest of you idiot Canadians, I don’t actually know shit about culture, so I’ll wait for my man Pop Culture Care Package to finish drinking Pimms with Michael Caine and Kate Moss and he can tell you dumb fucks instead. Now that’s what I’m talking aboot!

Read the rest of this entry »

TUESDAYS OF MURDER AND VAGINA   Leave a comment

Hey assmasters! What the fuck is good in the motherfucking hood? Did you see that fucking picture up there? That’s gonna be the right place for you to go on Sept 23rd in Toronto. Nowhere else. Do not accept imitations. If doesn’t say Walmer Fucking Convenience on the box then ain’t gonna be no Walmer Fucking Convenience inside. Probably gonna be some kinda shit. Anyway, go to this shit, pay your $5, see Yo Ev from The Torro Torros, see Daddy Maysr from that Montreal place, and see the Dj Caff who’s a good dude who can drop more party tunes on your heads than a flock of seagulls could drop shit on you. But what about the music? What will that shit be like? Well maybe it will be a bit like this shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Read the rest of this entry »

%d bloggers like this: