Spread our madness:

The battle of the blogs. The battle of stickers. One on the way up. One looking like it’s alienating everyone who has anything to do with it (but who would give a fuck when you just made a song for Usher). Why the fuck is The Dirty Frenchman smiling like a fucking cunt. He should have a mean face on. But he’s a drunk ass. So he smiled for this. Anyway. Sure WMC is almost over but we’re still gonna fucking post all the latest shit you need to wreck parties. WITHOUT FURTHER ADO LET’S GET THIS GOING AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Spread our madness:

So it’s been a moombah (also known as moom moom)  fuckfest this week. Lots of new shit. But there is other great shit in other genres that we have had to ignore. So this is the time we are posting that shit. A person cannot live off moombahton alone. You would be going to slow. You would be late all the time. But you would still not be relaxed because you would still be going faster than rap or other bass musics. So let’s grab thos fucking tunes and pretend we have a wide spectrum of tastes beyond moombah based musics AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Spread our madness:

Who is this fucker? It’s Canblaster. You can hardly tell though. We could have said it was Skrillex or Paul Oakenfold. No one would know. But it’s Canblaster. We saw him on New Year’s Eve in Toronto thanks to the Mansions. They just amass killer lineups for parties. Check them out if you are in town somehow. That Canblaster is a chill dude and awesome dj. Fucking boy wonder musical genius. Anyway, why talk about shit when we can just listen to some fucking tracks and download them and then play them when we have someone over to our place to have sex. GO GET SOME MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP!

Spread our madness:

After the fucking apocalypse there will be no room for moombahton. No light-hearted fun at the end of the world. We will need bass and plenty of it. People who listen to moombahton after the apolcalypse will be moving too slow. Cannibals will easily catch up with them. People who are listening to bass may be moving even slower. But they will be heavily armed with axes and hammers. People who listen to moombahton will be armed with hugs. You can’t kill a person with hugs unless you are some kind of musclebound bohemoth. There are probably like 3 people in the world that like moombahton and are also musclebound bohemoths. They will be the only people to carry the moombahton torch into the future. They still might get fucking killed by a bunch of people who like bass music if those people gang up on them. HERE’S SOME BASS MUSIC TO BE PREPARED AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP:

Spread our madness:

With this new onslaught of moombah, there is no other option except to pick up the pieces, gather up your belongings and make a new fucking life for yourself on the other side of the world. The worst part is, that you could never escape the pain. Moombahton started being played in that new place that you moved to. Your friends would be like “Let’s fucking go out and get drunk and do blow and shit.” You went out and they started playing fucking moombahton at the club. Instead of doing the blow the right way you would breath it out because you were all scared and shit. Your friends got fucking pissed. They punched your face. You lost teeth. Your dental bills increased. You became homeless. That was your life. You got raped. WHY DON’T WE GO LISTEN TO A SHITLOAD OF MOOMBAHTON AFTER THE JUMP!

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I am Snoop fucking Dogg. I am so fucking old. I just discovered about moombahtons yesterday. My son told me about the moombahtons music. He’s 30 years old. That’s how fucking old I am. I smoke old people formula weed with viagra supplemented. I fuck these bitches and then I still got a hard on for 3 hours more. Sometimes I just get a bitch to sit on my dick for the rest of the time I have a hard on like that’s her fucking chair. That’s what I call Dogging it. Snoop Dogging it. But enough about me, what about the moombahtons. I only really like them to be honest because it make me feel relevant and like I’m still into shit that young people like. I also like the jukes music for that reason. I have to turn up the music really loud because my hearing is bad. I’m old. LET’S LISTEN TO A BUNCH OF MOOMBAHTON AND DOWNLOAD IT AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Spread our madness:

As is not the tradition on Mondays, we are gonna do an all non-moombahton post because we don’t want fuckers to think we’re some kind of all moombahton blog and just send us moombahton and nothing else because that would be sad and then we would only have that in our lives and die probably from fucking moombah overdose. IT WOULD ALL BE YOUR FAULT! You would probably go to jail and become someone’s bitch and have penis in your mouth all day long. IS THAT THE FUTURE YOU WANT? Let’s go and listen to non-moombaton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

Spread our madness:

Hey bitch suckers. What the fuck is going the fuck on? What the fuck has gone wrong with this place? Are we some kind of legitimate blog or something that posts actual releases by fuckers instead of just a fucking bunch of soundclouds with swearing and stills from stupid 1980’s films? NO! We are not. We are just a bunch of fucking hacks who don’t do any fucking analysis and say stupid shit and generally bring down the ART and SCIENCE of musical blogging. Music blogging is obviously the most noble of mostly unpaid professions. Anyway. Let’s just stop talking about that stuff and focus instead on music and your mom’s pussy. The most important things. LET’S FUCKING DO THIS AFTER THE JUMP CUNT LICKERS!

Spread our madness:

Maybe you are expecting something clever right now. Maybe that is not possible. Maybe we went out and scouted a place for our next party. Maybe we did blow at some point and had a number of beers. Maybe we are fucking dead inside now at work pretending to be normal people talking to our fucking boss and discussing projected revenue and then in our heads we’re like “I do fucking blow man. I can’t fucking deal with this shit.” That’s our lives. We’re having a fucking meeting and we’re pointing at charts and graphs and shit and we get a drip from the night before fall down our throats and you gotta keep your fucking composure. But anyway. Enough of that. There are soundclouds to blog. Grab them, listen to them, fuck them AFTER THE JUMP ASSHOLES!

Spread our madness:

John C Reilly fucking knows! We can continue without Soundcloud! We can take this opportunity to revisit some classic shit. Are you guys up on your early moombahton? Why don’t we jump in a fucking time machine and check out some of the tracks that are the foundation of this shit. Maybe you have these tracks but maybe you don’t. Maybe you lost all the files on you computer. Whatever. Let’s be nostalgic AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!