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Yeah. Another fucking post assholes. What do you want? We were away. We have to make up for lost time. Would you rather we not post music and post the trailer for the smash hit Rob Schneider and Jean Claude Van Damme classic Knockoff?

There! Are you happy? Is that better? GO GRAB THOSE TUNES AFTER THE JUMP ASSEATERS!

Spread our madness:

My name is Coolio. I have a lesson to teach you today. Don’t be like me. If you are asking yourself  “What should I do next?” then just do the opposite of what I did. Like don’t make the song Gangster’s Paradise. Don’t get caught with crack. Don’t ever have a photo like this taken of yourself. In fact, to be real with you, this fucking photo tells my whole story right here. I look like someone who needs to get punched in the face. I look goofy. I look like Weird Al could be doing the same pose. No one from rap should ever appear in a way that Weird Al could. I’ve got six kids from four moms. Christmas fucking sucks. I made an album in 2003 called “Coolio.com”. What was I thinking? That is the worst name ever. It’s like a joke name. Except it’s real. I fucking chose that name. I’m fucking Coolio.

I’m fucking Coolio

Coolio is who I am.

“Coolio.com”

I’m Ghostdad

GRAB SOME FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!

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You see that shit? That’s the fucking hottest pepper in the world. What is it called? We fucking forgot, all we did is look up “hottest pepper” on Google and take this picture. This shit will burn the fuck out of your mouth. Maybe you will die. Have you reserved a plot at the graveyard yet? No? You’re screwed. Before you die you need to listen to some music. You need to listen to some soundclouds. THEY ARE AFTER THE JUMP!

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Hello everyone. My fucking name is Eddie Griffin. You might remember me from the fact that I played in commercial cinema films a number of years back. Now my job is to smoke cigars for money. I also like to listen to the soundclouds on the world wide web. There are so many things you can find if you like to surf it. It blows my mind sometimes like a spliff. Do you have any work for me? Can I get a light for my cigar? You want to smoke a spliff? I got some papers if you have some chrons. What are you talking about saying no? I saw you had some weed earlier. You sure you need to leave? What about these tunes? AFTER THE JUMP!

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BOOOOOOOYYYAAAAAHHHHHHH! This is William Gary Busey here but you can call me Billy Busey or better yet Gary Busey but don’t call me late for dinner. Get it? That’s a total laugh out loud. You know? Internet speak? The Walmer Conveniences blog has asked me to tweet to you the music that moves the soul within my body. Have you ever listened to music before? It sticks the penis of sound into your ears and and makes you have feelings. The sound then ejaculates into you senses and impregnates your body with music. This is called rhythm. Do you get it? When the baby of feelings is born, that’s when you know the song really hit you. Will you have the baby of these songs? Does your brain have ovaries? Science. I’m not gay. LISTEN TO THEM AFTER THE JUMP:

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When was the last time you shit your pants? 10 years ago? 15 years ago? 1 year ago? If you answered yes to the last one then you have a problem. You are either a baby, a homeless person or a human vegetable. If that is the case we ask: How did you manage to go on the internet, find this blog and be able to read it? You should not be able to do that. Science just won’t fucking allow it. Stop disrespecting science and get yourself a fucking job and a sense of respect.

Anyway maybe one of you will shit your pants tomorrow. Whoever shits their pants next and can prove it to us wins a full writeup on the Walmer Blog. You could get a write up as a dj or music producer or maybe as a janitor or as a person that stands on a bridge over the freeway yelling at cars. You could be a star. Music is after THE FUCKING JUMP…

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We’re fucking stupid. We don’t fucking know anything. All we do is sit at home looking at the internets trying to understand how regular people live their lives. One thing we know for sure is that women only listen to music with their eyes closed. It’s a fact of life. It seems like they find soundclouds arousing:

This soundcloud is my boyfriend/lesbian girlfriend/both

I am on a date with this soundcloud. I think it’s going well.

The souncloud found my g-spot. I am changed.

Music AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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POP LEVI – DITA DIMONÉ (MUMDANCE & HIGH RANKIN REMIX) (zshare)

The Dirty Frenchman is always trying to act like he is better than the dirty, shitty, unwashed pervert that he is. Not long ago The Dirty Frenchman tried to organize a fancy dinner at his house. This is what took place:

That’s how it went. People speak French and act like racial stereotypes at The Dirty Frenchman’s house. Fuck him. The only time the guests had any fun was after when he put on a few tunes after the meal and this song was one of them. This is the everything bagel of songs. It has electro parts, dubstep parts, rockish parts whatever. Catch the taste!