Archive for the ‘merital’ Tag

MUSIC SHIT! ALSO IT’S FUCKING CANADA DAY   Leave a comment

My name is Coolio. I have a lesson to teach you today. Don’t be like me. If you are asking yourself  “What should I do next?” then just do the opposite of what I did. Like don’t make the song Gangster’s Paradise. Don’t get caught with crack. Don’t ever have a photo like this taken of yourself. In fact, to be real with you, this fucking photo tells my whole story right here. I look like someone who needs to get punched in the face. I look goofy. I look like Weird Al could be doing the same pose. No one from rap should ever appear in a way that Weird Al could. I’ve got six kids from four moms. Christmas fucking sucks. I made an album in 2003 called “Coolio.com”. What was I thinking? That is the worst name ever. It’s like a joke name. Except it’s real. I fucking chose that name. I’m fucking Coolio.

I’m fucking Coolio

Coolio is who I am.

“Coolio.com”

I’m Ghostdad

GRAB SOME FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!

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MORE OF THE SOUNDS AND THE CLOUDS AND THE FUCKING   1 comment

Hey! What’s going on? I’m fucking Bill Cosby and I’m writing today on the Walmer Convenience blog. I’m not just a ghost dad but also a music lover. I go on soundcloud and listen to the beats. I’m gonna give you a taste of what I found. I think these songs are good but I haven’t even listened to them. I’m just gonna talk about what I think they sound like.

Nas – Life’s A Bitch (Gooffee Remix)

That song reminds me of the time I caught Theo smoking. I was so pissed. I made him smoke the whole pack to teach him a lesson. Then he got addicted and smoked again. The I beat the fuck out of him while making funny faces. It was hilarious.

Hyper Crush – Kick Us Out (HYPER CRUSH REMIX)

That song is like when you are trying to eat a fucking ice cream cone, but it’s too big for your mouth. Like this:

Everyone was like “How is he gonna fit that ice cream in his fucking mouth? It’s way too fucking big!” And I was like “You just watch!” and then the ice cream fell on my fucking shirt and i had to wash it twice to get it out.

Munchi – Skrillex Es Un Montro

That one reminded me of when I died but I was a ghost and had to take care of my kids and I was going through fucking walls and wearing ghost clothes and tipping my ghost hat. I was like “I’m so fucking dead”.

Merital – Money (Mr. Leub Home Sweet Home Remix)

That song reminds me of the time I was old and sitting on a chair.

I was like “I’m too fucking tired to stand up”. And everyone else was like “Are you still a person people care about?”. That’s that fucking song for me.

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