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The battle of the blogs. The battle of stickers. One on the way up. One looking like it’s alienating everyone who has anything to do with it (but who would give a fuck when you just made a song for Usher). Why the fuck is The Dirty Frenchman smiling like a fucking cunt. He should have a mean face on. But he’s a drunk ass. So he smiled for this. Anyway. Sure WMC is almost over but we’re still gonna fucking post all the latest shit you need to wreck parties. WITHOUT FURTHER ADO LET’S GET THIS GOING AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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Why did we post this building. It looks kinda crazy. We don’t know where the fuck it is or what the fuck it is. Do you live in this? If you live here it looks like you would have to be some kind of sinister motherfucker plotting shit and eye fucking women on a regular and hurting animals and shit and generally being a fucking creep. That’s your life. You just sit in a high backed chair all fucking day. Don’t know why but you fucking do. Anyway LET’S GO GRAB SOME FUCKING SOUNDCLOUDS AFTER THE JUMP!

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Hey cunts for brains! It’s a fucking Monday! Aren’t you happy to go back to your pitiful work lives! Haha! It’s fucking happy time! Go shoot yourselves in the head! Anyway. Still so many soundclouds of goodness falling into our ears. Too many. People need to stop making so much good free music. Make bad expensive music like LMFAO or Ke$ha. They know how to make fucking money in this biz. Those should be all your role models. Make note of that aspiring musicians and producers. in the meantime take peoples free shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:

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Now there are two fucking problems we can foresee arising from this write up. First, there is no “The Chronicles of Moombia” attached to the name of the compilation. We just decided that that’s the fucking way we are gonna call it because we like overly long titles that become fucking stupid. That’s how we do things around here. Secondly we are gonna say that moombahsoul is all fine and good and for some reason mofos are all over that shit but sometimes we wanna hear exciting music that’s not super chill and sometimes we wanna dagger a girl instead of just gently winding up on her. David Heartbreaks has gone on record to say that there will be more moombahcore coming out of his brain soon. So get ready for that. For the moment you can have a girl gently rub your penis to this music. Have your boner come slowly. No need to rush the getting of the boner. In most cases your dick should still be around tomorrow. Hopefully. DOWNLOAD THE COMPILATION AND SAMPLE THE TUNES AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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My name is Coolio. I have a lesson to teach you today. Don’t be like me. If you are asking yourself  “What should I do next?” then just do the opposite of what I did. Like don’t make the song Gangster’s Paradise. Don’t get caught with crack. Don’t ever have a photo like this taken of yourself. In fact, to be real with you, this fucking photo tells my whole story right here. I look like someone who needs to get punched in the face. I look goofy. I look like Weird Al could be doing the same pose. No one from rap should ever appear in a way that Weird Al could. I’ve got six kids from four moms. Christmas fucking sucks. I made an album in 2003 called “Coolio.com”. What was I thinking? That is the worst name ever. It’s like a joke name. Except it’s real. I fucking chose that name. I’m fucking Coolio.

I’m fucking Coolio

Coolio is who I am.

“Coolio.com”

I’m Ghostdad

GRAB SOME FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!

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Here some fucking moombahton that came out recently. Lots of good shit. Why would we post bad shit? GO GET THAT SHIT AFTER THE JUMP:

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There is a beach somewhere in the West Indies where you mom is considered a magical goddess because she pulls soundclouds out of her vagina for all the islanders to enjoy while they eat kingfish and drink kola champagne.

That’s how things are. Some of the soundclouds made it to this blog and THEY ARE AFTER THE MOTHERFUCKIN JUMP!

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Pop quiz hotshots! Your mom walks into your room while you’re wacking off and listening to soundclouds. What do you do? Ha ha! Yeah, it’s me dudes. I’m Keanu fuckin Reeves. I love blow and I love weed and I love crying on the tits of teenage girls. That’s my job, that’s what I do. I don’t wanna answer any more questions about it. I’m just trying to keep the spirit of cowabunga alive in Hollywood because everyone else is keeping alive the spirit of bullshit and crap in this town. It’s no good I tell you. Every swanky party I get invited to, I piss on the food to show that food and piss are the same. It’s a statement. The kick me out and I laugh because in the end the joke is on them. They’re the sheeple. They’re the ones walking around with their eyes closed eating piss food and they don’t even know it. But really I’m getting off topic here. I didn’t come to teach you groovy life lessons from a duderino that has done blow off Julianne Moore’s freckled tits. I came to present you some music. And that’s what I’m gonna do AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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We don’t know why we call this “Super Soundcloud Wednesday”. We post soundclouds all the time. Nothing special there. But we still call it that. So get used to it. Life is best if you don’t ask questions. Life is best if you shut up. But keep your ears open because sometimes you might hear some good fucking music. Or maybe you won’t. Maybe you hate all the stuff we post and you make sure to visit our blog everyday to be like “look at this crap, these guys are stupid cunt motherfuckers that like garbage tunes from shitonia”. Well thanks for boosting our traffic. MUSIC IS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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Hey bros! Come sail the seas of fuck and wonderment with us as we search the world for the golden vagina. Inside you can find soundclouds and adventure. Do you dare to go in? You have been there before. To make it in this world you have to have what it takes to get ahead. As Sir Winston Churchill once said “Pussy is the alcohol of the masses”. Do you drink it? This is the moment your life changed. Feel the music AFTER THE JUMP: