Archive for the ‘spoek mathambo’ Tag

WEDNESDAY BONUS BASS!   Leave a comment

So it’s been a moombah (also known as moom moom)  fuckfest this week. Lots of new shit. But there is other great shit in other genres that we have had to ignore. So this is the time we are posting that shit. A person cannot live off moombahton alone. You would be going to slow. You would be late all the time. But you would still not be relaxed because you would still be going faster than rap or other bass musics. So let’s grab thos fucking tunes and pretend we have a wide spectrum of tastes beyond moombah based musics AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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POST APOCALYPTIC BASS: NO MOOMBAH FUCKERS   Leave a comment

After the fucking apocalypse there will be no room for moombahton. No light-hearted fun at the end of the world. We will need bass and plenty of it. People who listen to moombahton after the apolcalypse will be moving too slow. Cannibals will easily catch up with them. People who are listening to bass may be moving even slower. But they will be heavily armed with axes and hammers. People who listen to moombahton will be armed with hugs. You can’t kill a person with hugs unless you are some kind of musclebound bohemoth. There are probably like 3 people in the world that like moombahton and are also musclebound bohemoths. They will be the only people to carry the moombahton torch into the future. They still might get fucking killed by a bunch of people who like bass music if those people gang up on them. HERE’S SOME BASS MUSIC TO BE PREPARED AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP:

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OLD BASS AND THE SEA   1 comment

Do you like bass? Do you like the sea? Well then you should take these fucking songs and go to the sea and listen to them and stay out too long and get a sunburn and then do that again several fucking times and get skin cancer and go to the hospital and when you get there you can see how many people actually care about you and those that don’t fucking come are not your real friends and you can delete them from facebook and that will be your life. LIVE THAT FUCKING LIFE AFTER THE JUMP!

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NEW SOUNDCLOUDS FROM OLD TOWNS   Leave a comment

You went up to a village to see your fucking grandparents. They live in the mountains. All the mountains have caves in the shapes of pussies. That’s how mountains are. Look it up in the fucking dictionary. That’s where you learn things. In the pussy caves there are new hot soundclouds for you to discover. You do a line of blow off a breast. You’re fucking ready now. GO IN THERE AND GET THOSE TUNES AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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THE CLOUDS ARE FUCKING THE SOUNDS   Leave a comment

Pop quiz hotshots! Your mom walks into your room while you’re wacking off and listening to soundclouds. What do you do? Ha ha! Yeah, it’s me dudes. I’m Keanu fuckin Reeves. I love blow and I love weed and I love crying on the tits of teenage girls. That’s my job, that’s what I do. I don’t wanna answer any more questions about it. I’m just trying to keep the spirit of cowabunga alive in Hollywood because everyone else is keeping alive the spirit of bullshit and crap in this town. It’s no good I tell you. Every swanky party I get invited to, I piss on the food to show that food and piss are the same. It’s a statement. The kick me out and I laugh because in the end the joke is on them. They’re the sheeple. They’re the ones walking around with their eyes closed eating piss food and they don’t even know it. But really I’m getting off topic here. I didn’t come to teach you groovy life lessons from a duderino that has done blow off Julianne Moore’s freckled tits. I came to present you some music. And that’s what I’m gonna do AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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OLD UNCLE MURDA MIXTAPE FOUND IN OSAMA BIN LADEN’S COMPOUND   Leave a comment

The CIA has just released more information on the things that were found in Osama Bin Laden’s compound and this long hidden Uncle Murda global bass mixtape was discovered on one of the laptops. A listen to this mixtape cements Uncle Murda as the heir to the legacy of Spoek Mathambo. Will he be on the next Major Lazer mixtape?

DOWNLOAD THE MIXTAPE HERE!

GO TO THE NIGHTCLUB AND KILL SPOEK MATHOMBO   Leave a comment

Not really.

Brought to you by Reebok™: Made for fucking killing

Posted March 30, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

Tagged with , , , , ,

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING DOWN IN TORONTO ON SATURDAY MARCH 26?   2 comments

Listen fucknuts. Here’s the deal: one of our favourite electronic groups of the last few years is coming to Toronto. Who are they? Schlachthofbronx. What do they do? They serve up bass like Japan serves up nuclear disasters. They go big. Too soon or not soon enough? You be the judge. Anyway, they are coming to fucking Toronto with Dubbel Dutch this Saturday. If you live in or are gonna be anywhere around Toronto that day then it is your duty to go to this show. We are not even involved with this show and we are telling you to go. We’re actually pretty jealous of those Plugged Not Thugged assholes for getting them and have often joked that we should make a Thugged Not Plugged party as a joke. For just this moment however, we will put down our weapons and unite together like the all the countries in the world did in the smash 1996 hit Independence Day. We still have the best blog in Toronto and are the best djs. That will never change.

BUY THE TICKETS HERE FUCKERS!

$15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15 $15

Not convinced by our self-interested selflessness? Then click after the jump for ALL THE BEST SHIT THAT SCHLACHTHOFBRONX HAS MADE! (obviously not all for download you assholes)

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THE LAST TRIP TO THE TEMPLE OF PUNANIA   Leave a comment

As you walked towards the exit of the temple, you were glad that you would never have to explore your mom’s pussy again, you had found all the music you needed, or so you had thought. The true secret of the temple is that the work is never over, you will never escape your mom’s pussy. This is the music that you found inside AFTER THE JUMP:

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SOUNDCLOUDS THAT YOUR MOM TAKES IN THE BATHROOM WITH HER AND THEN LOCKS THE DOOR   Leave a comment

Cowabunga fuckers! I’m George W Bush! I have been reappointed President of the United States for the next five minutes that you read this so that making jokes about me still seems relevant and that I can make a speech to my fucking country and the fucking world to tell tem about amazing clouds of sound that you can listen to and download from the internet. This shit is tubular!

What They Call Em (Orion Remix)-Kenny Kenny

That last song was like when i was eating pizza with my political bros:

We were so fucking high off the greens and then this song came on and I was like “Hang 10!” and then I jumped on the table like a surf board and kicked the guy from fucking Uraguay in the face and was like “You’re a gay!” You get it? Lol.

Derek ‘DJA’ Allen & Top Billin – Suspiria

This track is like the time I was crying like a little baby because I was so high and I had to talk infront of bros in Africa and they were all looking at me.

Shit was just too much.

TNT “Hot Gyal” vs Lazer Sword “Batman” (Proper Villains Blend)

This last song is like one that was playing when one of the dudes I sent to Iraq came back and told me about all the pussy he had gotten an I was like “Fuckin right son!”

Hostage – Snake Charmer

This song is a good time song about the time I asked the fucking pope how much pussy he got and he was like “So much pussy dude” and I was like “Sweet”

Schlachthofbronx- Nastybass ft spoek mathambo & bigspace

Otherwise, I’m just a big fuckin fan of Schlachthofbronx and I think everybody should listen to their music and maybe get laid to it but definitely smoke some cannons.  Questions?

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