Who’s computer is this? It’s fucking Noms’! Do you know this dude? No? Check the fuck outta his shit here! He is quite talented and has been producing for less than a year. His Gucci Mane juke song is just pure heat. Wear oven mits when you listen to that shit. Been a few days since we posted. Been busy as fuck partying and spinning so what are you gonna do hate us for living? Fuck. How about we just ut the crap and listen to some tunes. Wanna rep Walmer too? get at us. LET’S GO GRAB SOME HOT ASS TUNES AFTER THE JUMP! THERE HAVE BEEN TOO MANY!
Archive for the ‘figure’ Tag
MONDAY MUSIC FOR MOTHERFUCKERS Leave a comment
NEW YEAR/NEW BASS Leave a comment
Don’t know what the fuck that picture is supposed to be. Like is it the Moon hitting the Earth or is it like Uranus? Is that how it ends? We are hit by Uranus? Your anus? Fuck. Or maybe nothing will happen. Maybe you will still have to work at your dead end job for the next 20 years. Maybe there will be no end. You will still be single in 2012. Did you ever imagine that there would be an apocalypse and society would crumble and that you wouldn’t have to go to fucking work and maybe you would join some rebel group and be a hero/finally step up your game? It might never happen. You may not become some kind of post-apocalyptic fuckmaster/hero.
In the meantime why don’t we go out and grab some fucking bass music and remember the peeps we lost in 2011. LET’S GO FUCKING DO THIS SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!
BASS MUSIC FOR CREEPS Leave a comment
Where do you listen to music? The girl’s bathroom? The school playground? You’re a creep. Even if you’re a girl it’s kinda creepy unless you have a kid and the kid is playing on the playground and you happen to be there to look after the little fucker. But then even if that is the case, why do you have your headphones on? Maybe your kid is screaming. You’ll never hear them. You’re a bad mother. This is not Parenting Today. Is there a blog called Parenting Today? Who cares. Fuckers are here for some fucking tunes so why don’t we drop the pretense and get straight to the point. Just straight up bass music for your stupid asses. GO GRAB THOSE TUNES AFTER THE JUMP FUCK FACES!
BASSKETBALL Leave a comment
The Dirty Fucking Fremchman never saw Baseketball. He was probably readings books like a bitch. You hear that kids? Only bitches read books. Don’t read. Don’t stand out by being smart. No one likes smart people. In a sense, being smart is stupid. Make that your slogan. Anyway. There has been so much shit coming out music wise that we can’t keep the fuck up. Also we like to drink. If you drink you feel like fucking puking. If you feel like fucking puking it’s hard to be funny. That’s our life. WHY DON’T YOU GO GRAB SOME FUCKING TRACKS FOR THE FUCKING WEEKEND WHILE WE CHUG WATER AND MUNCH ADVILS!
NO MOOMBAHTON ALLOWED 2 comments
Do you want moombahton? There is no moombahton in this post. You came to the wrong place. Turn around. Go back to where ever you came from. We can’t post moombahton all the time everyday. No. You gotta break the addiction. Walmer Convenience is not some kind of “moombah-only” blog. We have fucking horizons. We have dreams. Don’t put us in some kind of moombahton box. Boom! That’s all we fucking feel like writing so go fuck yourselves looking for laughs and shit. GO GRAB ALL NON-MOOMBAHTON SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!:
MOOMBAHTON FUCKING EAR BEATDOWN Leave a comment
Hey! Assholes! What’s up! You know what these moombahton tracks are gonna do to you? Gonna bite your fucking ear off is what. Gonna have a fucking piece of your ear missing. That will be your life. You can either deal with it or cry like a baby. An ear-less baby. Nobody wants an ear-less baby. Those get returned to the vagina in exchange for another baby. Because that how pregnancy works. Either that or a fucking bird brings your baby. Bird shit baby. Anyway. Enough about birds and babies. Let’s listen to some moombahton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:
PENETRATION THURSDAYS Leave a comment
BAM! Walmer is inside you now fuckers! How you like that? No vaseline. Ever. That’s the way we blog shit. Inside you. “This is Walmer reporting live from your vagina. The forecast is for wet weather.” Alright. Thanks. we’ll just keep on doing a bang up job. No fucking music commentary here. No “blah blah, really has been making a mark on the scene lately, blah blah”. No. We don’t do that. That is boring as fuck. Not to say that there are many blogs that are good that do that. But a lot are shit. We shit on them. Shit on shit. Just get fucking annoyed at the complete fucking lack of originality. “Here’s my blog! I have some cool looking pictures and gifs and then I say that this person is really making a mark or is up and coming”. Lick our blog balls. Whatever. GRAB A SHITLOAD OF TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!
FIGURE: MONSTERS OF DRUMSTEP 2 2 comments
Who is Figure? Why do you ask? Do you want to fuck him? You don’t need to know anything about him other than one important fact: he makes bass to melt your fucking face off. Yes. If you listen to his fucking music you will need to bring at least 6 or 7 extra faces. Otherwise you’ll be fucking faceless. And people will be fucking scared of you. But enough about you and your fucking problems. Let’s talk about Monsters of Drumstep 2. What does it fucking mean? It means 6 songs of pure bass wonder that are inspired by fucking monsters. The 4 remixes by fuckers are hot too. In this uncertain economy you are making a sound investment with this shit. Find a link to get a FREE TRACK, buy that shit and test some fucking streams AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP ASSFUCKS!
SOUNDCLOUDS YOU CAN’T TOUCH 1 comment
Maybe you are expecting something clever right now. Maybe that is not possible. Maybe we went out and scouted a place for our next party. Maybe we did blow at some point and had a number of beers. Maybe we are fucking dead inside now at work pretending to be normal people talking to our fucking boss and discussing projected revenue and then in our heads we’re like “I do fucking blow man. I can’t fucking deal with this shit.” That’s our lives. We’re having a fucking meeting and we’re pointing at charts and graphs and shit and we get a drip from the night before fall down our throats and you gotta keep your fucking composure. But anyway. Enough of that. There are soundclouds to blog. Grab them, listen to them, fuck them AFTER THE JUMP ASSHOLES!
PURE UNCUT MOOMBAH FILTH 1 comment
Moombahton is like blow. Except it’s music and you don’t stick it in your nose. You shove it in your fucking ears you idiots. Don’t you know how to work music? True that you could also shove it in your mom’s vagina but that is besides the point. All of this is besides the fucking point. All we are trying to do here is have a post of only moombahton so that after we can have apost with no moombahton. So why don’t we do that AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!
Plan B – B Side
Plan B – Thugstep 2: Bang Yo Head
Plan B and The Dirty Frenchman in: Walmer Presents – Fist of Fury the 69th Chamber
Plan B is… Thugstep
Plan B x Boss Don Biggaveli FREE MAX B
Plan B x French Montana – Cut Coke
Plan B x French Montana – More Coke
The Dirty Frenchman – Pick a Hole and Wuk It
THE DIRTY FRENCHMAN – THE INVISIBLE HAND
THE DIRTY FRENCHMAN PRESENTS – FUCKMATAZZ VOL II: MOOMBAHFUCK or THE FUCKET LIST
THE DIRTY FRENCHMAN PRESENTS: FUCKMATAZZ VOLUME 1
The Dirty Frenchman: Race To Fuck Mountain & Government Housing & The Bruckshot Sessions
The Dirty Frenchman: There Will Be Fuck
