Archive for the ‘cousin cole’ Tag

COUSIN CULO & PHI UNIT ARE…SO EMOTIONAL. ANOTHER FREE ASS EP   Leave a comment

Have you fuckers seen the movie Drive yet? It’s fucking good. The Dirty Frenchman wishes that his life could aesthetically look like the movie. If his life was actually like the movie he would be shitting and pissing hi pants 24 hours a day because he’s a pussy and that movie is violent as fuck. So why the fuck are we talking about the movie Drive? Because this cover for the So Emotional EP by the Cousin Culo (Cousin Cole) and the Phi Unit looks like Drive style shit. Check it out:

Alright maybe it’s not a perfect match but you get it right? If you don’t get it go fuck yourselves. Anyway is this moombahton EP as violent as Drive? Is it as 80’s as drive and the fucking cover suggest? No it is not. Everyone makes it the fuck out alive. And unlike the movie Drive, people have a good time. You will probably not lode everyone you love listening to this EP. In fact, it a pretty key EP for your moombah collection. It’s got solid remixes of pop favourites that will help fuckers be able to play moombahton to people outside the group of people who are up to date on all the fucking music and are supercool and wear nerd glasses and dress like it’s 1993. This is the moombahton that will get moderate level hipsters to dance. The only weak point is that they didn’t make a fucking remix of this:

WHY DON’T YOU JUST SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN AND GRAB THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING FREE AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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MOOMBAHTON FUCKING EAR BEATDOWN   Leave a comment

Hey! Assholes! What’s up! You know what these moombahton tracks are gonna do to you? Gonna bite your fucking ear off is what. Gonna have a fucking piece of your ear missing. That will be your life. You can either deal with it or cry like a baby. An ear-less baby. Nobody wants an ear-less baby. Those get returned to the vagina in exchange for another baby. Because that how pregnancy works. Either that or a fucking bird brings your baby. Bird shit baby. Anyway. Enough about birds and babies. Let’s listen to some moombahton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:

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THE DIARY OF METTA WORLD PEACE   Leave a comment

Hey Hey! How the fuck are you? Just gonna take a break from dancing with stars. My name is Ron Art-wait no, that’s wrong I’m Metta World Peace. That’s what people call me now. Here’s proof:

I’ve always been fucking believing in the world peace and all and loving the people and having a positive vibe in this hustle. I’m not a fucking athlete anymore. I’m a fucking artist. I paint portraits with words now in the genre of raping, I mean rapping. I put out a rape mixtape. I mean a rap mixtape. Fuck. Have you tried it?

(click the picture to actually download this thing)

My most happiest thing about the mixtape is that it features my two fucking idols: George Lopez & Fat Joe. One is the fucking Picasso of comedy and the other is the Shakespeare of rap. I know that it seems crazy to compare George Lopez to Shakespeare and Picasso to Fat Joe but that’s just the way I fucking see it with my artist eyes. My artest eyes. Haha. Floetry. Check out my video with my mentors:

Call a fucking museum to get this shit put in it. Anyway. People get their inspiration from a lot of places. I get mine from all the fuck over. I get inspiration even from the soundclouds. I love them. Let’s go fucking listen to that shit. LET’S DO IT AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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SOUNDCLOUDS FROM GOD   Leave a comment

Yeah. Another fucking post assholes. What do you want? We were away. We have to make up for lost time. Would you rather we not post music and post the trailer for the smash hit Rob Schneider and Jean Claude Van Damme classic Knockoff?

There! Are you happy? Is that better? GO GRAB THOSE TUNES AFTER THE JUMP ASSEATERS!

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YOU DON’T WEAR A T-SHIRT LIKE THIS. IT WEARS YOU.   1 comment

Ladies and gentlemen this right here is the Cadillac of t-shirts. If you grew up in the ghetto, spent your time doing all you could to be the best at basketball, got drafted to the NBA right out of high school and got offered $50 million before you turned 20 years old then this is the shirt that you wear. You don’t wear this shirt if you’re the fucking manager at Burger King not even if you’re the manager at KFC which is slightly more prestigious (face the truth Burger King). No sir. This shirt says “I made it”. Be somebody AFTER THE JUMP!…

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LITTLE BABY BITCHES BE CRYIN’   Leave a comment

Because we heard a lot of crying and because we offer a very fucking vivid and rich media experience, we will need to be doing more “more after the jump…” type shit in here. Otherwise, as you may have noticed, this site runs like ass. So there. If you want the fucking music, you need to fucking make the effort. If you want to know what Kanye, or John C Reilly have to say, you’re gonna have to learn to click on shit and navigate between pages. Let’s see how good you are at it starting now:

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THE DIRTY FRENCHMAN – THE INVISIBLE HAND   2 comments

The Dirty Frenchman – The Invisible Hand

The Dirty Frenchman was raised in an Algerian bunker by lepers. He learned to dj using twine and old bottle caps. This is a hard hitting mix that is at times bewildering and operatic. He touches on many genres and no genres. Electro, house,  global ghettotech, uk funky, b-more, kuduro and dancehall collide and become not just a collection of songs, but a story. Not just a story, but a narrative. Not just a narrative, but a dj mix.

Murder Mike, Mike-Mike, Young H.I.D. – Cherry Hill And Down Ya Block

Doorly ft. Lady Chann – The One

Hypercrush – Ayo

Drop The Lime – Doomsday Device

Mustard Pimp – Kiwi (Gigi Barocco Remix)

Douster ft. Spoek Mathambo – Punani

Sidney Samson – Panorama

Drop The Lime – Sex Sax (Zombies For Money Remix)

So Shifty Ft. Busy Signal – Lift Up Dat

Dj Khaled, T-Pain, Ludacris & Rick Ross – All I Do is Win (Cuz Cole Remix)

Steve Starks – Git Em (Munchi Remix)

? – No Beef (RadioKillaz Remix)

Perfect Loosers Ft. Karo MC – Bandits (Sabbo Remix)

Ghostdad – Vuvuzela Beat

Schlachthofbronx – Sai Safarda

Schlachthofbronx – We Run This

Die Antwoord – Enter The Ninja (Douster Remix)

Rusko – Dial My Number

Cham – Take It Outside

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