Archive for the ‘beyonce’ Tag

PENETRATION THURSDAYS   Leave a comment

BAM! Walmer is inside you now fuckers! How you like that? No vaseline. Ever. That’s the way we blog shit. Inside you. “This is Walmer reporting live from your vagina. The forecast is for wet weather.” Alright. Thanks. we’ll just keep on doing a bang up job. No fucking music commentary here. No “blah blah, really has been making a mark on the scene lately, blah blah”. No. We don’t do that. That is boring as fuck. Not to say that there are many blogs that are good that do that. But a lot are shit. We shit on them. Shit on shit. Just get fucking annoyed at the complete fucking lack of originality. “Here’s my blog! I have some cool looking pictures and gifs and then I say that this person is really making a mark or is up and coming”. Lick our blog balls. Whatever. GRAB A SHITLOAD OF TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS FROM GOD   Leave a comment

Yeah. Another fucking post assholes. What do you want? We were away. We have to make up for lost time. Would you rather we not post music and post the trailer for the smash hit Rob Schneider and Jean Claude Van Damme classic Knockoff?

There! Are you happy? Is that better? GO GRAB THOSE TUNES AFTER THE JUMP ASSEATERS!

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4 SONGS AND A FUNERAL   Leave a comment

Remember in the early 90’s Andie McDowell was in like every movie and Bill Murray fucked her and Hugh Grant and other fuckers like maybe Gerard Depardieu. Or maybe you were not born yet and in that case you scare us and we are old. On the bright side you would be able to relate because she dressed like all the fucking chicks do now. So really nothing has changed. Today is the 1990’s and the 1990’s were the 2010’s. Pogs are still cool too right? Always cool. Never go out of style. How about we listen to some music after the fucking jump that is varied and not just of one style. Click that fucking link assholes. Do it. Pussies.

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ESTUPENDO SOUNDCLOUD WEDNESDAY   2 comments

You see that shit? That’s the fucking hottest pepper in the world. What is it called? We fucking forgot, all we did is look up “hottest pepper” on Google and take this picture. This shit will burn the fuck out of your mouth. Maybe you will die. Have you reserved a plot at the graveyard yet? No? You’re screwed. Before you die you need to listen to some music. You need to listen to some soundclouds. THEY ARE AFTER THE JUMP!

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SOUNDS/FUCKS/CLOUDS   Leave a comment

Hello gents! I am Johnathan L. Leguizamo, star of Hollywood’s “The Pest”. When I’m not pretending to be other people I like to listen to music on my Sony Walkman™ or Microsoft Zune™. Music is maybe the most important tool that I use for what I would call not my “acting” but rather my “becoming”. Indeed it is by listening to soundclouds that I am able to “be” a character. Thus I become The Pest as  Plan B becomes Thugstep. This is the true meaning of art. Let the songs inspire you too. AFTER THE DAMN JUMP…

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WE HAVE MODERATE CLOUT VOL 5: PART 2   Leave a comment

We said we would do this like 2 months ago but we lied! We are doing it now! More moderate clout for your sorry asses! What else came in our inbox? Is it a stash of diamonds or cubic zirconias? We will have to dig. This is our cross to bear. First up:

A month ago we got this email telling us this:

KIL RIPKIN BRINGS FORTH THE QUICKENING VOL. 1

(BROOKLYN, NY-NOVEMBER 2, 2010)   One of Hip Hop’s best kept secrets, Kil Ripkin, AKA The Genereal, brings forth his highly anticipated project The Quickening Vol. 1 today. The Quickening Vol. 1 serves as a cosmic ride through the paradigm shift in the spirit of pure, unadulterated Hip Hop. Featuring appearances by Charles Herron, Big Treal (Joe Grizzly) and Ike Turner, this project addresses a range of topics from metaphysics, current social issues like immigration and the economy, to relationships. The soundscape features production from Raticus, Eric G, A Jacks, Eddie Cheeba, Tony Roche and Krutty Ranks; as well as freestyles over some of The Godian’s favorite instrumental vibrations.

STOP THE PRESSES! This exactly what we were waiting for, and by that we mean just the opposite! If there is one thing people need to know about us, it’s that we really couldn’t give a fuck about conscious hip hop. No beef with people who like it. Just that if you need a song to tell you not to slap your bitch then you got other problems. We didn’t even listen to this so who knows? Maybe this is the shit. Can’t fault a cat for hustlin. Maybe this is exactly what YOU want. Here it is:

Don’t really get what this cover is supposed to mean:

Egypt claws? Whatever. Next!

Here’s some hotness for your sorry asses:

David Heartbreak – King Kong

Now this is the type of shit we can get behind! Heartbreak should have called this shit Lazer Steamroller. This is what it sounds like when doves get shot in the face. But wait! There’s more:

FREE MOOMBAHMA 3 EP

If you clicked on that link you would find the song above and two more servings of moombahton fire as part of third installment of his Moombahma series. Get that shit or get yourself a job at a desk and start pushing fucking pencils.

Next is this:

Daft Punk – Derezzed (Breakdown Remix)

This song is by these Breakdown guys from LA and it sounds like they were trying to capture the spirit of their city where people shove fists full of blow into each other’s mouths. That’s how life is there. Is it a good remix? Well Daft Punk belong in a fucking museum so if you like historical music then it is for you.

The last little while we have been getting these emails from some dude named Nappy Famous and we were never reading them and then we bothered to check and it turns out that in an interview on some other more well intentioned and earnest music blog he claims to have coined the word “thugstep”. Here’s one of the tracks he sent us:

B.o.B. – I’ll Be In The Sky (Disc Jockey Nappy vs Girl Unit Thugstep mix (save as)

It becomes weird though since our own Plan B IS THUGSTEP and this guy invented thugstep, does that mean that he is Plan B’s father? Is this his way of reconnecting? Is he like “Listen to this Plan B!”

Beyonce – upgrade you ft. jay-z (disc jockey nappy vs document one vs heist THUGSTEP mix)

“I love you son.”

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