Archive for the ‘kid kaio’ Tag

DID YOU GO TO THE PARTY LAST NIGHT?   1 comment

Did you know that when you put your ear up against a Grammy award you can hear the sound of money being printed? Oh hi. Didn’t see you there. I’m David Oswald Guetta. Did you make it to the party last night? It was fucked. There was blow everywhere. It was as if the party was held in a snow globe. A snow globe that gets you high. It was crazy.


There was like some astro-space black dude there who djed with me called Bill-I-Am and he is from a place called Black Iced Peace. He is a pretty cool for an alien. He did the most blow of all of us. What a champ. We didn’t play any of these songs that are posted AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP! We just listened Sean Kingston sing all of Justin Bieber’s songs while Fergie shot ping pong balls out of her asshole and pussy at the same time.

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SUPER FUCKING SOUNDCLOUD THURSDAY!   Leave a comment

Hello, my name is Carlton Weathers, but you can call me Carl but don’t call me late for dinner. Ha ha, yes I am quite a fucking joker. Let me tell you my mamma used to whoop my ass so hard because I was just making jokes non stop when I was just a little kid in that crazy town that you may call New Orleans but will always be Cracklevania to me. But this is not just about me. This is about the fact that it is Thursday and that there are soundclouds out there that are super. Fuck yeah. And the crazy thing about it is that each one represents an aspect of my life. Let’s take a fucking journey together. Come. Hold my hand. It’s not gay. Just do it. LET’S GO AFTER THE JUMP!

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SOUDCLOUDS THAT STAND ON THE SHOULDERS OF GIANTS   Leave a comment

Hey cuntnuts? What did you do during the weekend? Did you have fun? Did you puke? Did you go to the bathroom outside of a bathroom? You are like a bird. A free bird. The bathroom is a cage you will never be confined to. You go when you like, where you like with dignity. There is no holding it in for you. You don’t hold in your emotions and you don’t hold in your pee or poo. You make the rules even while you break them. This is your music AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:

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SOUNCLOUDS THAT COME TO YOUR MOM’S HOUSE WITH FLOWERS   Leave a comment

Is this your fucking father? Because if so your life is terrible. You’ve got real problems when his shirt is too big to contain his gut. Is it because his gut is his point of pride? When you’re at the mall and people are staring he tells you about how he had to drink millions of beers and eat 56 more tonnes of food than he needed to over his life. But if that’s not enough, did you know your dad likes to go Bangkok to nail teenage whores like there will be no more teenage whores left? It’s true. As the great artists had paint and canvas through which to express themselves and the poets the pen and the paper, your dad has teenage whores. That’s your life, don’t wear it out. Big LOLs all around. MUSIC IS AFTER THAT FUCKIN’ JUMP:

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SOUNDFUCKING/CLOUDFUCKING   Leave a comment

Come up with us to the the land of the clouds where your mom floats around with the angels and has sex on sale for only $9.99. At prices that low she’s practically giving it away. But that’s not all. If you click after the jump, you can go on a journey of wonderment and delight…

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FUCKING SOUNDCLOUDS BUT Y’ALL ARE HATIN AND SHIT   2 comments

I’M FUCKING KANYE WEST Y’ALL! I’M GONNA FUCKING WIN THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR MUSIC! EVERYONE IS HATING ON ME BUT YOU DON’T HAVE DIAMOND TEETH AND YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND HOW TO MAKE MUSIC SO EVERYONE NEEDS TO BACK OFF BUT I’VE BEEN FUCKING AROUND WITH SOUNDCLOUD I’LL ADMIT IT AND THESE PEOPLE MIGHT COME CLOSE TO BEING A FRACTION OF ME. JUST BE QUIET AND LISTEN TO THESE TRACKS BECAUSE I WANT Y’ALL TO APPRECIATE THIS ART.

Congorock – Mortal Kombat 9 – Liu Kang’s Theme

THAT SONG WAS LIKE I WAS REMEBERIN WHEN I WAS FUCKING AT A FASHION SHOW AND MY LEGS WERE TOO HOT AND MY ARMS WERE TOO COLD:

IT’S JUST A THING I GOTTA DEAL WITH BECAUSE MY FAMILY ALWAYS HAD COLD ARMS SO PEOPLE JUST NEED TO BACK OFF AND LET ME JUST TRY TO DO MY AWESOME WORK LIKE EVERYONE WOULDN’T LEAVE MJ ALONE AND NOW HE’S DEAD AND I’M LIKE MJ.

Legobeat – Rooster Riddim (Hat+Hoodie’s Cockfight Remix)

THAT LAST SONG WAS LIKE THE TIME I WAS IN KING TUT’S FUCKING TOMB AND WEARIN A FUCKING EGYPTIAN CHAIN.

AND I WAS LIKE “FUCK YOU KING TUT! YOU MAY HAVE MORE GOLD THAN ME BUT I HAVE MORE IDEAS IN MY MIND WHICH MAKE ME RICHER THAN YOU AND MY MUSIC IS MY DIAMONDS AND THEY ARE ALSO MY TEETH.”

Mustard Pimp – RER E (Pantin Edit)

THIS IS JUST LIKE THE TIME I WAS MAKING SERIOUS ART TO CHANGE THE PLANET. NOBODY REALISES HOW LUCKY THEY ARE TO LIVE IN WHAT WILL PROBABLY BE KNOWN AS THE “WESTIAN ERA OF HISTORY. FUCKING BALLET AND HIP HOP YOU CAN’T SAY ANYONE EVER FUCKED WITH THAT BEFORE.

Usher – Love In This Club (sonora chopped n screwed mix)

THAT WAS LIKE THE TIME I WAS SITTING WITH JAY-Z AND WE WERE DRINKING MOËT FUCKING GRAND VINTAGE ROSÉ (IT’S MY FAVOURITE CHAMPAGNE THAT KARL LAGERFELD FUCKING SHOWED ME) AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT PICASSO’S BLUE PERIOD AND WHICH ONE OF US HAD THE MOST OF HIS PAINTINGS AND JAY-Z HAD MORE BUT I WAS LIKE I LIVE THE POETRY OF HIS ART AND THEREFORE I CONNECT BETTER WITH THE IDEA OF PICASSO SO EVEN IF I HAVE LESS OF HIS PAINTINGS I HAVE MORE IN COMMON WITH HIM. I WON.

Munchi – Filha Da Puta

THIS LAST SONG IS NOT AS GOOD AS ANYTHING I EVER MADE AND THIS PICTURE ABOVE IS ME JUST CRAFTING A BETTER SONG USING MY MIND AND IMAGINATION. MY HEAD IS LIKE A WHOLE WORLD AND INSIDE YOU’D BE IN SOME NERVERENDING STORY TYPE SHIT.

Ke$ha – we R who we R (Kid Kaio DoubleDutch Remix)

THERE WAS THIS OTHER TIME THAT I WAS WITH MY BROS ELTON AND PAUL AND JUST TRYING TO GET THEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW YOU MAKE GOOD MUSIC COME TO LIFE AND THEY JUST DIDN’T GET IT AND WERE HORSING AROUND AND SHIT BUT I COULDN’T GET UPSET BECAUSE YOU GOTTA RESPECT THEM THEY GOT MORE PICASSOS THAN ME BUT YOU WAIT AND SEE WHEN THEY DIES IMMA BUY ALL THEIR PICASSOS UP.

HEARTBREAK HOTEL   1 comment

Kid Kaio – Hey (Heartbreak Moombahton Edit) (zshare)

David Heartbreak – Ragga Muffin (zshare)

Have you ever been to the Heartbreak Hotel? They don’t play Elvis there. They play moombahton. It’s kinda a crazy hotel. People go there to rock to the music. The music of David Heartbreak. They probably smoke fat blunts too. That’s what happens there. Way better than the fuckin’ Best Western. That place doesn’t even have a pool and some kid pissed in the jacuzzi.

Posted August 16, 2010 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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