Archive for the ‘zeds dead’ Tag

WINTER BASS   Leave a comment

Who the fuck is rocking a Walmer sticker now. Is it 2Deep? It is! Crazy! Have checked out any 2Deep tunes yet? Go fucking do it! Here is the soundcloud. You like good music right? So then you like 2Deep. You can’t like one and not the other. IT IS SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. Do the research. Anyway we gotta go and have sex with your mom’s so while we do that why don’t you go check out some hot ass bass. GO GRAB THOSE FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!

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Well, gonna try to put up as much shit as possible since shit is gonna get crazy starting tonight. Djing and working a day job. It’s a win-win-lose. We can’t always be internet stars all the time. We have to get down from our ivory fucking virtual tower and walk among the people. See what you fuckers see. Taste what you taste. Turn you onto the dark side with speeches like this:

Basically, how are we gonna meet your mom and make you the little brother (or sister! right ladies?) you always wanted if we are not out there djing and impressing her and making her vagina damp. Maybe we will play some of these songs for her. GO GET THEM AFTER THE JUMP CUNTS!

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Hey, Walmer fans, Bryan Adams here! How’s it going over there in Canadialand? Actually, don’t tell me, I don’t give even 5% of a fuck. Seriously . That’s why I left that shithole to come live here in the UK, leaving you lot swimming in a massive puddle of your own chezelagnia filth until you can come to terms with the fact that you’ll never be American. Man, this place pisses on your dump – right now I’m at the vinegar strokes with that Kelly Brook lady and whoever that foxy lady is who’s in the Harry Potter films – yeah, Dame Maggie Smith. You know it. And the best thing? They give you a butler who’ll wipe the manjam from your old chap with one of the Queen’s swans while Sting holds your coat. Sweet.

Actually, I don’t know why I’m bothering to write this, I bet you’re too busy being tromboned by a grizzly bear or getting all the fucking poutine out your beard so you can get on with finishing your Wayne Gretzky fan porn. Anyway, if you could just stop licking Celine Dion’s sweaty lady marmalade off Jim Carrey’s perineum for  just one fucking second, I’d like to let you know about all the great moombahtons they got over here in that UK – well, I won’t, cos  like the rest of you idiot Canadians, I don’t actually know shit about culture, so I’ll wait for my man Pop Culture Care Package to finish drinking Pimms with Michael Caine and Kate Moss and he can tell you dumb fucks instead. Now that’s what I’m talking aboot!

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The island of Lesbos is where lesbians come from. That’s what people from there are called. It’s a fucking fact. Even if they are not girls who are interested in other girl’s vaginas. Have you ever been there? Are there a lot of girls having sex with each other? Is it ok to be a straight dude if you go there? Will people look at you weird if you are a man and a woman holding hands? What kind of music do they play on the island of Lesbos? Is it just Sarah McLachlan? Is it these fucking soundclouds? THE ONE AFTER THIS FUCKING JUMP RIGHT HERE?
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Hey fuckers! Are you a baby? How are you reading? You don’t even know math. You’re scared of cats. Babies don’t even have jobs. There’s only one conclusion, babies need to step their game up. What do you have to show for your lives babies? Are you just gonna let everyone else do all the work? Babies can’t even feed themselves. Babies don’t even know the true meaning of soundclouds or Christmas. Music is AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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What can we say about the Zeds Dead that Charlie Sheen has not already said so eloquently? They have some new tunage for fuckers to download. They are the Japan nuclear crisis of music except that people don’t forget that they are still going on so maybe the Japan nuclear crisis is the Zeds Dead of nuclear crises. It’s complicated. You know how it works. That’s your relationship status on Facebook. With your wife (or husband if you are the proud owner of a vagina or gay). MUSIC IS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!!!

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THE ZEDS DEAD   2 comments

Hi folks. My name is Charlie Sheen and I would like to make a speech to you today about the band The Zeds Dead. I think they are terrific. Have you heard of them yet? They seem to have been pretty prolific in the studio as of late, making a lot of covers of hit songs from my youth and even my father’s youth. Like this:

Gimmie Shelter (Zeds Dead Remix)

When they sing, they manage to sound exactly like the Rolling Stones. Also, are you listening to the drumming? Me, George Lopez and Dane Cook have a band and we have been trying to figure out for months how you make that wobble sound. The drummer from Zeds Dead is one of the top 5 drummers of the last 50 years if you ask my opinion. Here’s another great cover of another favourite band of mine, The Moody Blues:

Zeds Dead – White Satin

In that song, the ever versatile singer for Zeds Dead adopts a falsetto putting on display his incredible vocal range and may I add again: who is the drummer? He just knocks it out of the park with his wobble style of drumming. I ask you? Is there anything these geniuses are not capable of?

Zeds Dead & Omar LinX – Out For Blood

This last song shows that Zeds Dead are not just beholden to the new genre that I have called Wobble Rock but can also make rap music that still manages to put the incredible drumming at the forefront. This is surely a band to watch and I would say to be on the lookout for them in 2011 as they are on the verge of exploding and could very well make it to the same level as the singer Rusko.

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