Archive for the ‘Ludacris’ Tag

MONDAY MOOMBAHTON HOT BEEF INJECTION   Leave a comment

Everyone like fucking beef. Most people prefer that it be heated before they eat it preferably cooked. Not The Dirty Frenchman. He eats that shit so fucking underooked that shit is practically still alive. He’s probably full of diseases. Sexually transmitted and otherwise. But since we are assuming you fuckers are normal and enjoy tracks that are flame broiled well we got the good for you. The are all moombah heaters guranteed to light shit up anytime, anyplace. Go grab the fuck outta them AFTER THE JUMP ASSHOLES!

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FUCKING MOOMBAH MEGAPOST   Leave a comment

Damn son, where’d you find that sticker? Boom! Another fucker rockin Walmer swag. Who the fuck is this? Fucking babySTEPS. Have you checked out his soundcloud? There is some hot ass music up in that bitch. His remix of Heartbreak’s “Blaze Up” is fucking phenomenal. Basically you need it in your life. But enough chit-chat. What the fuck are we here for? To talk about feelings and shit? No. We’re here to fucking have some sick tunes so let’s go get that hot moombahton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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PENETRATION THURSDAYS   Leave a comment

BAM! Walmer is inside you now fuckers! How you like that? No vaseline. Ever. That’s the way we blog shit. Inside you. “This is Walmer reporting live from your vagina. The forecast is for wet weather.” Alright. Thanks. we’ll just keep on doing a bang up job. No fucking music commentary here. No “blah blah, really has been making a mark on the scene lately, blah blah”. No. We don’t do that. That is boring as fuck. Not to say that there are many blogs that are good that do that. But a lot are shit. We shit on them. Shit on shit. Just get fucking annoyed at the complete fucking lack of originality. “Here’s my blog! I have some cool looking pictures and gifs and then I say that this person is really making a mark or is up and coming”. Lick our blog balls. Whatever. GRAB A SHITLOAD OF TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!

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TUESDAYS OF MURDER AND VAGINA   Leave a comment

Hey assmasters! What the fuck is good in the motherfucking hood? Did you see that fucking picture up there? That’s gonna be the right place for you to go on Sept 23rd in Toronto. Nowhere else. Do not accept imitations. If doesn’t say Walmer Fucking Convenience on the box then ain’t gonna be no Walmer Fucking Convenience inside. Probably gonna be some kinda shit. Anyway, go to this shit, pay your $5, see Yo Ev from The Torro Torros, see Daddy Maysr from that Montreal place, and see the Dj Caff who’s a good dude who can drop more party tunes on your heads than a flock of seagulls could drop shit on you. But what about the music? What will that shit be like? Well maybe it will be a bit like this shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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YOUR GIRLFRIEND USED TO SLEEP WITH THESE SONGS   1 comment

Whose song is Rihanna listening to? Is she listening to the moombahton? Is she listening to the juke? What about the fucking drumstep? “Hi, my names is Rihanna. I like make drumstep play in mines ears.” That’s the way it would be. What would you do if your girlfriend stated liking drumstep? Would you have it play in the background while you guys fuck? Would you play chopped and screwed while you fucked? If you did would it take you 4 hours or 6 to finish? Anyway. Just listen to these songs and imagine Rihanna was in your class in high school. GO GET THEM AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS JUST WASHED UP ON THE FUCKING SHORE   Leave a comment

After the Japan nuclear crisis all these radioactive soundclouds started washing up in your mom’s vagina and polluting the delicate ecosystem contained therein. You tried to do all you could during the cleanup: you gizzed into the water, you smoked cigarettes and ashed into it, you even poured bleach in it to get rid of the stains but nothing worked. There is no more hope and now you just have to make do with the new reality. Music is AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS FROM YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES   Leave a comment

Hey fuckers! Are you a baby? How are you reading? You don’t even know math. You’re scared of cats. Babies don’t even have jobs. There’s only one conclusion, babies need to step their game up. What do you have to show for your lives babies? Are you just gonna let everyone else do all the work? Babies can’t even feed themselves. Babies don’t even know the true meaning of soundclouds or Christmas. Music is AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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THE DIRTY FRENCHMAN – THE INVISIBLE HAND   2 comments

The Dirty Frenchman – The Invisible Hand

The Dirty Frenchman was raised in an Algerian bunker by lepers. He learned to dj using twine and old bottle caps. This is a hard hitting mix that is at times bewildering and operatic. He touches on many genres and no genres. Electro, house,  global ghettotech, uk funky, b-more, kuduro and dancehall collide and become not just a collection of songs, but a story. Not just a story, but a narrative. Not just a narrative, but a dj mix.

Murder Mike, Mike-Mike, Young H.I.D. – Cherry Hill And Down Ya Block

Doorly ft. Lady Chann – The One

Hypercrush – Ayo

Drop The Lime – Doomsday Device

Mustard Pimp – Kiwi (Gigi Barocco Remix)

Douster ft. Spoek Mathambo – Punani

Sidney Samson – Panorama

Drop The Lime – Sex Sax (Zombies For Money Remix)

So Shifty Ft. Busy Signal – Lift Up Dat

Dj Khaled, T-Pain, Ludacris & Rick Ross – All I Do is Win (Cuz Cole Remix)

Steve Starks – Git Em (Munchi Remix)

? – No Beef (RadioKillaz Remix)

Perfect Loosers Ft. Karo MC – Bandits (Sabbo Remix)

Ghostdad – Vuvuzela Beat

Schlachthofbronx – Sai Safarda

Schlachthofbronx – We Run This

Die Antwoord – Enter The Ninja (Douster Remix)

Rusko – Dial My Number

Cham – Take It Outside

PLAN B & THE DIRTY FRENCHMAN IN…WALMER CONVENIENCE PRESENTS – FIST OF FURY: THE 69TH CHAMBER   1 comment

Fist of Fury: The 69th Chamber (save as)

Finally, the powers of Walmer are united to form the Fist of Fury! This mix delivers a punch in the face to other djs on the scene making suckas reconsider their life choices. Time to take up knitting! Sleeping on this dubstep, b-more, electro madness is like sleeping on a bed of nails!

Tracklist:

Plan B:

Masters At Work – Work 2009 (DJ Marsi & Bart Remix)
Busy Signal – Pum Pum Pum (Remix)
Ludacris – How Low (Cobra Don Bmore Remix)
Kazey & Bulldog – For Da Real G’s (French Fries Remix)

The Dirty Frenchman:

Sissy Nobby – Lay Me Down (DJ Sega Remix)
The Partysquad – Crazyfunkystyle
N*E*R*D – Enveryone Nose (Douster Remix)

Plan B:

A1 Bassline – 8Oh8
Gooffee – The Siren Song
French Fries – Senta

The Dirty Frenchman:

Soda ‘n’ Suds – Fuck House (DJ Manaia Mashed Up Style Remix)
Lady Chann – Sticky Situation (Toddla T Remix)
Busy Signal – Just Wanna Fuck
Major Lazer – Pon De Floor (Chewy Chocolate Cookies Remix)

Plan B:

Debonair Samir – Freaky Girl
A1 Bassline – We Love Pussy
Dizzee Rascal & Armand Van Helden – Bonkers (Doorly Remix)
Kid Sister – Pro Nails (Rusko Remix)
R Kelly – Number One (Jimmy2Times Club Rmx)

The Dirty Frenchman:

Schlachthofbronx/Sgwejegweje – Mujava Remix

ANOTHER SONG OF THE DAY: LUDACRIS FEAT. YOUNG JEEZY – DRINKIN AND DRIVING   Leave a comment

JEEZY_LUDA

LUDACRIS FEAT. YOUNG JEEZY – DRINKIN AND DRIVING

This is a strange song. It’s got about a 24 bar gap at the end of it presumably where Jeezy was supposed to drop his verse. But that’s not the reason it’s strange. It’s strange because the hook is very obviously Jeezy singing about how awesome it is to be cruising the highways of Atlanta all twisted n shit and then on the verse Luda’s talking about his mom cruisin the same highway in the Lex he bought her…HUH?…oookay. That’s just fucking weird if you ask us…wanting your mom to cruise on the very same road that Jeezy’s swervin all over drunk in his baby blue Lamborghini. Sometimes we marvel at how totally un-self-aware hip hop music is.

 

Whatever, the beat’s fuckin crazy and if you were at all creative or so-inclined, you’d stop bitching about the fact that there’s a verse missing on it and drop one on it yourself like Berg did…or you could just enjoy the song the way it is.

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