Archive for the ‘cobra krames’ Tag

DON’T BREAK THE INTERNETS   Leave a comment

Hey you! Fucking Americans! Yeah! Don’t break the fucking internets! Tell your fucking Congressman and Senator to fucking vote against it because you will ruin the internets for everyone. Like literally the whole fucking world. We will all fucking hate you. No music blogs will exist. We Walmer will personally hate you. If given the chance we would go to every citizen of the USA and tell them “Fuck you” if PIPA and SOPA pass. Even if you were obviously not directly responsible for it passing if you did nothing to try and stop it your are guilty in some way. Google makes it really easy to do.

AFTER YOU SIGN THE FUCKING PETITION GO GRAB SOME FUCKING MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP ASSMUNCHERS!

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POST APOCALYPTIC BASS: NO MOOMBAH FUCKERS   Leave a comment

After the fucking apocalypse there will be no room for moombahton. No light-hearted fun at the end of the world. We will need bass and plenty of it. People who listen to moombahton after the apolcalypse will be moving too slow. Cannibals will easily catch up with them. People who are listening to bass may be moving even slower. But they will be heavily armed with axes and hammers. People who listen to moombahton will be armed with hugs. You can’t kill a person with hugs unless you are some kind of musclebound bohemoth. There are probably like 3 people in the world that like moombahton and are also musclebound bohemoths. They will be the only people to carry the moombahton torch into the future. They still might get fucking killed by a bunch of people who like bass music if those people gang up on them. HERE’S SOME BASS MUSIC TO BE PREPARED AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP:

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NEW YEAR/NEW BASS   Leave a comment

Don’t know what the fuck that picture is supposed to be. Like is it the Moon hitting the Earth or is it like Uranus? Is that how it ends? We are hit by Uranus? Your anus? Fuck. Or maybe nothing will happen. Maybe you will still have to work at your dead end job for the next 20 years. Maybe there will be no end. You will still be single in 2012. Did you ever imagine that there would be an apocalypse and society would crumble and that you wouldn’t have to go to fucking work and maybe you would join some rebel group and be a hero/finally step up your game? It might never happen. You may not become some kind of post-apocalyptic fuckmaster/hero.

In the meantime why don’t we go out and grab some fucking bass music and remember the peeps we lost in 2011. LET’S GO FUCKING DO THIS SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!

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NO MOOMBAH POST TO KEEP PROVING WE AIN’T SOME FUCKING MOOMBAH ONLY BLOG   Leave a comment

Look at these to assholes. This is fucking Sto of Walmer with fucking Tittsworth at the SLOWED party that happened on Saturday in Toronto. This was a moombahton party where The Torro Torros and Sean Caff also took the crowd and shook the crowd like it wasn’t a thang. It makes perfect sense then to use this picture for a post dedicated to non-moombahton music. We’re geniuses. Whenever we fucking talk to fuckers they think we just like moombahton. We like other music. We post other music. People just send us a shitload of moombahton every fucking day that’s fresh as fuck. If fuckers wanted to send us bass music we will take it and play the fuck out of it. We like club music too. Basically just send us everything. Anyway, go grab some hot ass non moombah AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP BITCHTITS!

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NO MOOMBAHTON MONDAYS   Leave a comment

As is not the tradition on Mondays, we are gonna do an all non-moombahton post because we don’t want fuckers to think we’re some kind of all moombahton blog and just send us moombahton and nothing else because that would be sad and then we would only have that in our lives and die probably from fucking moombah overdose. IT WOULD ALL BE YOUR FAULT! You would probably go to jail and become someone’s bitch and have penis in your mouth all day long. IS THAT THE FUTURE YOU WANT? Let’s go and listen to non-moombaton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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BIG SOUNDCLOUDS IN LITTLE CHINA   Leave a comment

Enchanté! Karl Lagerfeld taught me that that’s how motherfuckers say “Hi” in Germany. Crazy eh? By the way, I’m noted American thespian Curtis James Jackson III. Hahaha! Friends, Romans, Countrymen! Lend me your ears! That’s acting! That’s how you do it! I live in fucking Connecticut now! Grey Poupon fuckers! I just eat a whole jar of that shit to show how rich I am. Use that shit as fuckin moisturizer too. Fuckin burns my fuckin face. I feed lobster to my dogs. I drive around the fuckin golf course in a Cadillac. That my fuckin golf cart. I have to pay for the whole golf course to be replanted with grass every time I play. That’s my fucking life. Don’t wear it out. Fuck yeah. Check out these fucking songs AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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HELLCLOUDS & FUCKCLOUDS   Leave a comment

Well, gonna try to put up as much shit as possible since shit is gonna get crazy starting tonight. Djing and working a day job. It’s a win-win-lose. We can’t always be internet stars all the time. We have to get down from our ivory fucking virtual tower and walk among the people. See what you fuckers see. Taste what you taste. Turn you onto the dark side with speeches like this:

Basically, how are we gonna meet your mom and make you the little brother (or sister! right ladies?) you always wanted if we are not out there djing and impressing her and making her vagina damp. Maybe we will play some of these songs for her. GO GET THEM AFTER THE JUMP CUNTS!

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