Archive for the ‘mobb deep’ Tag

SOUNDCLOUDS MADE FROM PEE   Leave a comment

Chris Tucker woke up in his apartment in the not great part of town. It was 1pm. That’s the time he woke up everyday. He hadn’t worked for 2 years so he never had to get up early unless it was to get his welfare cheque. Chris Tucker collected welfare now. Even though he always got more than enough sleep because of the fact that nothing was going on in his life, he still enjoyed having a cup of coffee as a pick me up to start his day. It just made it feel complete. It made him feel complete if only for a few minutes. As the coffee brewed he looked at the fading picture of him and Jackie Chan that he had stuck on his old refrigerator.

Those had been better times. He remembered all the bitches he had fucked as a tag team with Jackie. They had done it to build up their partnership so that audiences would love their chemistry. He remembered all the blow that they had done together in the trailer off of breasts in between takes. Jackie liked to do lines of blow between girl’s assholes and pussies. He called it “Getting from Point A to Point P” except when he said it it was in Chinese and shit. Chris Tucker stood there for 10 more minutes looking at the picture,  revisiting all the highs and lows he had had in his former career as an actor. The coffee maker made a beep and brought Chris Tucker back to reality. He poured the warm liquid into his favourite mug and took a quick gulp. As the coffee hit his taste buds it was all wrong, it had a very sharp taste almost like vinegar but salty and it stung his tongue. He pulled the mug away from his face and looked inside and made a startling discovery. It was not coffee at all in his mug. It was pee. Chris Tucker had just drank pee. Floating in the pee were soundclouds. GO GRAB THOSE SOUNDCLOUDS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP TO KNOW WHAT CHRIS TUCKER EXPERIENCED!:

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FUCK FACE TUESDAYS   Leave a comment

Fucking tired like fuck. Head feels like this fucking cop car, like our brain got wrapped around a tree while we were driving. That’s life right now. Dead inside style. Whatever. This is not the time to complain. We ain’t little baby bitches always looking for their bottles and crying tears on the ground. We ain’t no warm milk drinkin’ motherfuckers. Anyway. We don’t feel like fucking entertaining you so how about you fucking just click and GRAB SOME FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP CUNT FACES!

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THE SOUNDCLOUDS YOU WROTE ABOUT IN YOUR DIARY   1 comment

Hey little baby, you gonna cry and write about your period in your diary? You gonna go in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you got a big dick or if you’re a girl that you have big fucking vagina? Is that something that girls care about? Who has the biggest vagina? Is that like some kind of secret sisterhood hierarchy? No? Have you guessed we’re all dudes by how misogynistic we are? Yes? What about applying your powers of deduction to deducing why these tracks are so hot. Which fucking tracks? THE ONES AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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MOOMBAHCLOUDS OF FUCK AND OTHER DRUGS   Leave a comment

Hey bros! How many drinks have you had today? 2? 3? 15? The world is your oyster. How many times have you puked? 1? 3? It’s true. It’s the best way to feel good again after you start feeling a little woozy from drinking. The Dirty Frenchman worked with this dude who got fired for drinking at work. The guy would drink booze to work at a call centre and it’s like if you’re gonna get boozy than get boozy to do some fucking fun work like being a fucking bikini inspector or condom tester or a sex haver or secret shopper at Walmart. A lot of moombah again on the plate today. Don’t know what we’re gonna do with it all. Been eating a lot of moombah lately. Maybe too much. Gonna get mad fat and have to have that moombah removed by liposuction. MUSIC IS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP:

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DA CYPHA   4 comments

Remember rap music? We have videos for it..

New Yayo and Mobb Deep, Body Bag…these fuckers about to go hard in the paint…

More shit after the jump yo..

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SUPER FUCKING SOUNDCLOUD WEDNESDAY!   Leave a comment

Hey you fucking fucks! What a time to be alive. We have Microsoft Zunes™ we have Coke Zero™ and now we have a new EP from the super moombahton bros themselves Heartbreak and Munchi. In East Timor people are making thousands of feet of popcorn garlands in celebration. In Moldova they have declared today a national holiday. But there is so much more great music as well out there. Why don”t we all fucking gather round and take a look at it together like a family. A terrible, drug addled family. Join us on this magical journey AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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CONSCIOUS HIP HOP!!   2 comments

This one’s called Use Your Head…be smart and don’t watch it at work!!

See what other teachings this week’s hip hop music has in store after the jump!!
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