Archive for the ‘aaron lacrate’ Tag

SOUNDCLOUDS MADE FROM PEE   Leave a comment

Chris Tucker woke up in his apartment in the not great part of town. It was 1pm. That’s the time he woke up everyday. He hadn’t worked for 2 years so he never had to get up early unless it was to get his welfare cheque. Chris Tucker collected welfare now. Even though he always got more than enough sleep because of the fact that nothing was going on in his life, he still enjoyed having a cup of coffee as a pick me up to start his day. It just made it feel complete. It made him feel complete if only for a few minutes. As the coffee brewed he looked at the fading picture of him and Jackie Chan that he had stuck on his old refrigerator.

Those had been better times. He remembered all the bitches he had fucked as a tag team with Jackie. They had done it to build up their partnership so that audiences would love their chemistry. He remembered all the blow that they had done together in the trailer off of breasts in between takes. Jackie liked to do lines of blow between girl’s assholes and pussies. He called it “Getting from Point A to Point P” except when he said it it was in Chinese and shit. Chris Tucker stood there for 10 more minutes looking at the picture,  revisiting all the highs and lows he had had in his former career as an actor. The coffee maker made a beep and brought Chris Tucker back to reality. He poured the warm liquid into his favourite mug and took a quick gulp. As the coffee hit his taste buds it was all wrong, it had a very sharp taste almost like vinegar but salty and it stung his tongue. He pulled the mug away from his face and looked inside and made a startling discovery. It was not coffee at all in his mug. It was pee. Chris Tucker had just drank pee. Floating in the pee were soundclouds. GO GRAB THOSE SOUNDCLOUDS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP TO KNOW WHAT CHRIS TUCKER EXPERIENCED!:

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THE SOUNDCLOUDS YOU WROTE ABOUT IN YOUR DIARY   1 comment

Hey little baby, you gonna cry and write about your period in your diary? You gonna go in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you got a big dick or if you’re a girl that you have big fucking vagina? Is that something that girls care about? Who has the biggest vagina? Is that like some kind of secret sisterhood hierarchy? No? Have you guessed we’re all dudes by how misogynistic we are? Yes? What about applying your powers of deduction to deducing why these tracks are so hot. Which fucking tracks? THE ONES AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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THE SOUNCLOUDS WILL BLEED YOU   Leave a comment

You’ve been warned. Soundclouds are no joke. They’ll hunt you. They’ll find you. This ain’t no fuckin game. You been playin’ Scrabble to long. You shook! R.I.P. Nate Dogg. Heaven just got better hooks. MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP!

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PUNJABI MC FT MZ STREAMZ – BEWARE OF B-MORE (AARON LACRATE REMIX)   Leave a comment

Punjabi MC ft. Mz Streamz – Beware of B-more (Aaron Lacrate and Debonair Samir remix) (Zshare)

It’s so easy to characterize bmore (more commonly known as the city of Baltimore) by its image on the big and small screen. Like us for instance, we pretty much think that bmore is The Wire. We know it’s not but goddam, wouldn’t it be dope if you lived there and Tommy Vercetti was your mayor and you had to spend your days duckin Avon’s crew? Anyway, this joint’s a shoutout to our brothers who actually do live in b-more, not that fake pussy Wire shit…I mean, come on, if Marlo had a come up against Walmer he woulda got bodied too, just like every other lame who’s felt froggish and/or leaped. Trill talk lor bai…

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