Hey, Walmer fans, Bryan Adams here! How’s it going over there in Canadialand? Actually, don’t tell me, I don’t give even 5% of a fuck. Seriously . That’s why I left that shithole to come live here in the UK, leaving you lot swimming in a massive puddle of your own chezelagnia filth until you can come to terms with the fact that you’ll never be American. Man, this place pisses on your dump – right now I’m at the vinegar strokes with that Kelly Brook lady and whoever that foxy lady is who’s in the Harry Potter films – yeah, Dame Maggie Smith. You know it. And the best thing? They give you a butler who’ll wipe the manjam from your old chap with one of the Queen’s swans while Sting holds your coat. Sweet.
Actually, I don’t know why I’m bothering to write this, I bet you’re too busy being tromboned by a grizzly bear or getting all the fucking poutine out your beard so you can get on with finishing your Wayne Gretzky fan porn. Anyway, if you could just stop licking Celine Dion’s sweaty lady marmalade off Jim Carrey’s perineum for just one fucking second, I’d like to let you know about all the great moombahtons they got over here in that UK – well, I won’t, cos like the rest of you idiot Canadians, I don’t actually know shit about culture, so I’ll wait for my man Pop Culture Care Package to finish drinking Pimms with Michael Caine and Kate Moss and he can tell you dumb fucks instead. Now that’s what I’m talking aboot!
Absolute filth, and therefore worthy of the degenerate Walmers. London lad Lee Glasspool was there first, with his edit of Majic becoming a minor 108 anthem, thanks to support from Dave Nada and DJ Melo, who plopped it on his Winter Of Moombahton comp. He was also a key part of Toddla T’s increased influence on the scene, dropping some moombahton on his radio show. Smutlee’s big move was to replace reggaeton with bashment, a logical move given how influential roots culture has been over in the UK – a switch that colours much of UK moonbahton, especially when allowing for the less-pronounced influence of latin culture here. Smutters’ ear for melodic vocal hooks is pretty unchallenged in the world of 108s, as you’ll realise when you discover can’t shift this fucker from your brain. Soja featured on Smutlee’s excellent Mixpak mix – and is available for download for the first time here. Anyone who wishes he was a tad more prolific will be pleased to know that he’s working on original material, which he says will have a full-on carnival fiesta vibe, dripping in bells, whistles, cowbells, handclaps – the works. Can’t wait.
These two both come from the dubstep side of the fence, brought over by Munchi’s moombahcore, and are now embodying the potential direction of the UK scene. They’re firmly in the core camp, but are threading in other elements to make an irresistible fusion beast – utterly urban, with a Smutlee-esque vocal drive and the upbeat punch of El Cuco. These dem bow converts could prove to be the UK’s Melo and Pickster – good on their own, but somehow better together. Jamrock’s the more experimental , boldly trying to bring a more thoughtful, often cinematic vibe to the scene. He flirts with soul and core, but he has his own distinctly forward-thinking take on moombahton. Jake’s recent set at the Kool Kids Klub’s moombahton special showed he could become a major player here, and his edit of Symone’s Runnin’ was one of the highlights of his set, sitting fairly comfortably alongside King Kong and Firepower. Matching a love of wobbles with a Nada-esque party vibe, Jake was retooling core for more energetic dancefloors even before Bro Safari and El Cuco got involved. Head over to PCCP for another Twellbomb, Show Me Your Hands.
Exclusive: Jamrock – Boss
Geek Boy (http://soundcloud.com/geekboymusic)
Your first task is to head to Soundcloud and give Al Swettenham a follow, as this lad has fire in his locker. In just a few short months, Geek Boy’s twitchy, fresh moombahcore has caught the ear of Heartbreak, who included him in his core mix for Mistajam, as well as Feral and Jake Twell. This PCCP exclusive for Walmer, Attrition, is an absolute crusher, bringing an 8-bit whiplash of core wobbles, percussion, drops and power chords that is hard to fuck with. Think Skrillex playing Zelda.
Exclusive: Geek Boy – Attrition (editor’s note: this track is fucking massive)
Glorious tropical bounce, which is only what you’d expect from the Club Popazuda resident, who is the closest we have to a British Sabo – You Like This is buoyant, global, deep and refined. Bumps’s productions are slick, bearing the marks of years of British dance music, with a faint whiff of acid there for good measure. Superb. This was featured on Lightning Eyez’s Wildstyle compilation – but if, like me, you’re still hacking through all 8,246 tracks, you possibly haven’t got to this yet.
Moombahton won’t make or break Feral, or MC Kinky as was on her name badge back in the day – Caron Geary’s spot in the dance music annals is already locked, thanks to the rave anthem Everything Starts With An E. Her ragga-shaded vocals aree a perfect fit in this Smutlee-led realm – and Feral boasts a weighty cosign roster in the form of Munchi, who was originally pencilled in for production twiddles before his illness, Jon Kwest, Starfoxxx, Caballo and Small Town DJs. Now working with Bumps, Feral can instantly shoot down any claim Nadia Oh may have to being the First Lady of moombahton.
Andy Kisiragi (http://soundcloud.com/andykisaragi)
Like Jamrock, Andy’s tracks are always imaginative, cliché-free and fresh, showing a producer who’s keen to see where this thing can go, but isn’t afraid to piss around with the sound at the same time, as this track shows – a curious deconstruction and remoulding of the Sabo edit. His recent EP has more of his canny joints. Very much worth a squint.
Jimi Needles (http://soundcloud.com/jimineedles)
The highly skilled turntablist soulboy could almost be called one of the OGs – he featured on Melo’s Winter comp alongside fellow Brits Smutlee and Jera. As then, Jimi has stuck his nose in the moombahcore trough – and again has come up trumps. Fierce, stripped to the bone and unforgiving in its core attack. Now, if he can bring turntablism into the moombahton game and match his deck skills with dem bow productivity, we’ll be laughing.
Kev Willow (http://soundcloud.com/kevwillow)
PCCP fact: Kev rustled up this Lil Wayne edit at the request of the Walmer – and the perfectionist Kev, who rejects more tracks than he puts out, liked the end product so much he plopped it on his EP, Hi I’m Kev. This Scouser has honed his production chops all over the shop, dubstep, blah blah and something tutorials. Heartbreak seems to be a fan, which strikes me as a good thing, and judging by the way Kev’s managed to wring more swagger out of the Dutchy riffing than is medically possible, while layering in a smartly constructed dem bow variants – and without falling back on any of the usual moombahton sampling pitfalls. Kudos.
Posted the soundcloud but those fuckers said it was copyright infringement. You can still get it at the link below. Fuck them.
John Stanhope has done plenty to marshall the UK scene, and his laidback, slick take on the 108 has earned him a place here. The big party fiesta vibes of this one are also totally on point. A winner.
13th Tribe (http://soundcloud.com/the13thtribe)
Are we going to allow an ex-pat Scot living in Chile in this little gang? Of course, it’s my feature. Khev de Leon’s world music 2.0 productions remind us that moombahton forms part of the global bass scene – and that moombahton is about waaaaay more than a dirty Dutch plus dembow template. Heady.
Vegas & Uman
You’re going to have to trust me on this one, as there’s no mp3 back-up, but as Frank Mendez’s El Cuco Recordings have already set high tide mark for quality, the thought of a pair of UK drum n bass stalwarts, ex of Hospital and Ram Records, getting involved with some A-grade Skrillex-DnB-moombahcore sounds worthy of an intrigued-face emoticon at the very least. Soon come.