Archive for the ‘andykisaragi’ Tag

SUPER FUCKING SPECIAL GUEST POST – POP CULTURE CARE PACKAGE PRESENTS: THE BRYAN ADAMS GUIDE TO UK MOOMBAHTON   5 comments

Hey, Walmer fans, Bryan Adams here! How’s it going over there in Canadialand? Actually, don’t tell me, I don’t give even 5% of a fuck. Seriously . That’s why I left that shithole to come live here in the UK, leaving you lot swimming in a massive puddle of your own chezelagnia filth until you can come to terms with the fact that you’ll never be American. Man, this place pisses on your dump – right now I’m at the vinegar strokes with that Kelly Brook lady and whoever that foxy lady is who’s in the Harry Potter films – yeah, Dame Maggie Smith. You know it. And the best thing? They give you a butler who’ll wipe the manjam from your old chap with one of the Queen’s swans while Sting holds your coat. Sweet.

Actually, I don’t know why I’m bothering to write this, I bet you’re too busy being tromboned by a grizzly bear or getting all the fucking poutine out your beard so you can get on with finishing your Wayne Gretzky fan porn. Anyway, if you could just stop licking Celine Dion’s sweaty lady marmalade off Jim Carrey’s perineum for  just one fucking second, I’d like to let you know about all the great moombahtons they got over here in that UK – well, I won’t, cos  like the rest of you idiot Canadians, I don’t actually know shit about culture, so I’ll wait for my man Pop Culture Care Package to finish drinking Pimms with Michael Caine and Kate Moss and he can tell you dumb fucks instead. Now that’s what I’m talking aboot!

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THE RETURN OF WHO IS BEST: BLAZE UP EDITION   8 comments

Shaolintronics! What up every one? This is fucking Raekwon from the Wu-Tang’s Clan. I here with some other dude I don’t know the name of and we’re here for a very special return of The Walmer Convenience Musical Blog’s famous: Who Is Best? See this giant bag of fucking weed? I was gonna take it all and stick it into your mom’s vagina because that’s what I do with weed. I don’t smoke it. I don’t make it into cookies. I just shove it up girl’s pussies. But this time, I’m gonna smoke that shit. Gonna smoke the whole fucking bag in one joint and then I’m gonna puke and then when I wake up, because I will have also passed the fuck out in a pool of my vomit, we will know who made the best fucking version of “Blaze Up (That Jeffrey)” originally by the David Heartbreaks and the Toddla T. VOTE FOR THE BEST VERSION AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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