Archive for the ‘fellow’ Tag

FUCK FACE TUESDAYS   Leave a comment

Fucking tired like fuck. Head feels like this fucking cop car, like our brain got wrapped around a tree while we were driving. That’s life right now. Dead inside style. Whatever. This is not the time to complain. We ain’t little baby bitches always looking for their bottles and crying tears on the ground. We ain’t no warm milk drinkin’ motherfuckers. Anyway. We don’t feel like fucking entertaining you so how about you fucking just click and GRAB SOME FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP CUNT FACES!

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IT’S THE FUCKING DJ MELO STAR TIME EP. FUCKING GET IT OR GET YOUR ASS OUTTA TOWN   1 comment

You and Bill Cosby had only been driving for 3 fucking hours but you already had nothing left to say to each other. All he wanted to talk about were fucking pudding pops and you were like “Do mother fuckers still make that shit?”.

And he just kept on going on and on about that shit and talked about all the different kinds and then fucking talked about what would have been good flavours for that shit but they never made them. You were just answering in ways like “sure” and “oh yeah?”. At some point he just tired himself the fuck out. He had talked about every possible flavour and fucking flavour combo possible. Now you just kept on driving down the road looking at the empty fucking desert and Bill Cosby would fucking mumble shit under his breath every now and then and you would be like “What’s that?” and he would be like “Nothing man. Don’t worry about it”.

You would never have chosen to be in a car with Bill Cosby. But you had no fucking choice. You were the only two fuckers in town that never bought the Dj Melo Star Time EP and the rule was that you had to leave. So you were stuck together now in this 1998 Buick Regal. You regretted now that you had not gone to Beatport and picked up this collection of 6 original heaters and 3 remixes by some of the best fucking minds working in moombahton today. It was such a small cost compared to a lifetime on the road with Bill Cosby saying stupid shit all fucking day. But it was too late. Or was it? GO FIND THE LINK TO BUY THIS SHIT AND GET TWO FREE FUCKING TRACKS AND SAMPLE THE WHOLE EP AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP FUCKERS!

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Posted October 11, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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POST-SOUNDCLOUDS   1 comment

Soundcloud is back but we’re still pissed. We used to trust them and rely on them. They fucking let us down. Like bitches. Even though we still powered through, the point is, we didn’t want to have to power through. We wanted life to just be fucking easy. We didn’t want to have to be ready for catastrophe. We are fucking slaves to Soundcloud. Everyone puts their fucking shit out on that shit. Anyway. Go grab more stupid fucking soundclouds AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS THAT HUNT YOU DOWN   2 comments

Remember how’s there’s music other than moombahton? Like house or dubstep or or shit like goa-trance (your favourite). All that seems to come out right now is moombahton. There have been like 50 fucking EPs in the last week. We need to escape from moombahton for a while. You can listen to other music and do fucking other drugs. Try mixing house music and blow. Try melding dubstep and heroine. Anything is possible. Use crystal meth around the edge of a pussy for flavour. So many recipes you can try at home. Martha Stewart. CHECK OUT A SHITLOAD OF TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS OF MURDER. ALSO, YOUR MOM.   Leave a comment

Hey there fucknuts! What is happening in your lives? Did you have a good weekend? Did you have a terrible weekend? Did you get peed on? It’s possible. Sometimes people get peed on. Sometimes they ask for it. Maybe you did. It’s alright. You are not so weird. You are definitely weird but not so weird. Like there are weirder people than you. The Dirty Frenchman probably does some weird ass shit. We don’t even want to know about his life. There are probably terrible things involved. Don’t ask. Let’s look at brighter things. There was a lot of amazing music that came out recently. Why don’t you give it a listen AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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WHO IS FELLOW AND WHAT DOES HE WANT?   Leave a comment

The truth is we don’t know who the fuck Fellow is. All we know is that he has a new EP that you can cop for free and the music is pretty ill as fuck. So ill that you might throw up wherever you are and then you will have to clean the throw up off yourself or the ground or the person you threw up on. The Dirty Frenchman once threw up on a guy at a bar and the dude had to go home and change but The Dirty Frenchman had no throw up on him. That’s real winning. Learn how to do it. Fellow throws up great music into your ears and you both win. Have a download and have a listen AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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Posted June 2, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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WELCOME TO WALM-ART   1 comment

Check it out cunt mouths! We got another party in the pipes! ART PARTY! Some of the best damn visual artists in Toronto are coming together at THE PORT GALLERY (1179 Dundas West) on MAY 6TH.

THIS IS GONNA BE SOME BIG BOX ART WITH SOME CHEAP BOOZE AND NO COVER BEFORE MIDNIGHT!

PRESENTING THE ART OF:

HANS POPPE

YOKE

MEDIAH

BOBBY LAWN

And of course music provided by:

WALMER CONVENIENCE (DANCEHALL. RAP. BASS. MOOMBRO TUNES. DRUMSTEP. ASSORTED DANCE MUSIC)

CLICK ATTENDING ON THE FACEBOOK INVITE HERE!

WE ALSO HAVE FUCKING MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP! MAYBE WE WILL PLAY IT. MAYBE WE WON’T. YOU HAVE ENOUGH DISAPPOINTMENT IN YOUR LIVES!

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