Archive for the ‘reggaeton’ Tag


Soundcloud is back but we’re still pissed. We used to trust them and rely on them. They fucking let us down. Like bitches. Even though we still powered through, the point is, we didn’t want to have to power through. We wanted life to just be fucking easy. We didn’t want to have to be ready for catastrophe. We are fucking slaves to Soundcloud. Everyone puts their fucking shit out on that shit. Anyway. Go grab more stupid fucking soundclouds AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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Whose song is Rihanna listening to? Is she listening to the moombahton? Is she listening to the juke? What about the fucking drumstep? “Hi, my names is Rihanna. I like make drumstep play in mines ears.” That’s the way it would be. What would you do if your girlfriend stated liking drumstep? Would you have it play in the background while you guys fuck? Would you play chopped and screwed while you fucked? If you did would it take you 4 hours or 6 to finish? Anyway. Just listen to these songs and imagine Rihanna was in your class in high school. GO GET THEM AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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Have you ever shit your pants in public? Have you ever had pee drip out of your penis or vagina in front of the opposite or same sex or animals or whatever it is you like to have stimulate your genitalia? It can be terrifying, but also exhilarating but embarrassing. We don’t really know what the fuck this has to do with Sazon Booya which is the combination of the Mr Vega and of the Dj Sav. The tone is really much more reggaeton. It will fuck your face with magic. Have a listen and a few freebies AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP:

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Posted June 13, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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REMEMBER DON OMAR?   Leave a comment


Posted June 13, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

Tagged with , , , ,


Hello, my name is Donald Omar but you may call me Don Omar for short. Do you remember those crazy fucking days in the mid 2000s when reggaeton was the king of musics? I was doing so much fucking blow those days it was crazy like I fucking banged so many chicks and had a house with 4 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms because I’m like that, I’m the fucking guy that likes to always have a bathroom around. Now that moombahton is coming into style, you are probably wondering “does anyone even listen to or make reggaeton anymore?”. Well, they do. Surprisingly. Fortunes were made off the reggaeton boom and fortunes were lost after the great reggaeton crash of 2007. I had to fucking tell 13 of my brothers and sisters that they could not sleep in my backyard anymore. Some people will just never stop reggaetoning. This is their story:

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WE HAVE MODERATE CLOUT VOL 3   Leave a comment

This is our private jet:

This is the laptop we use to spin:

This the car we use to take ladies home:


This time it’s a mixed bag. We have some crazy pum pum activation shit and some mediocre we don’t know what to think of it shit.

First the good news:

ZZK Records aka the best damn label from South America sent us this news:

BUENOS AIRES, ARG. (Feb. 16, 2010) – “Las Americas V.1,” the latest EP from Buenos Aires-based record label ZZK Records, is set for digital release next Tuesday, February 16. Produced by Poirier, a DJ/producer from Montreal, “Las Americas” features a reggaeton-inspired track with vocals by Boogat. The album, which also includes remixes from Uproot Andy, El Remolon, Lagartijeando, and Douster, is sure to unite Montreal and Buenos Aires as hermanos in music.

Here are the tracks to preview:

Ghislain Poirier ft. Boogat – Kalima Shop Titi

Ghislain Poirier ft. Boogat – Kalima Shop Titi (Uproot Andy Remix)

Ghislain Poirier ft. Boogat – Kalima Shop Titi (Douster Remix)

There are other remixes then the Uproot Andy and Douster ones but they are not that great. Sorry El Remolon and Lagartijeando (whoever you are), better luck next year. The original is really not that great either but we support the idea. It’s a song about the bad guy in Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom. This guy:

He’s great. Sure, you want ZZK records to shut up when they say:

“Now, South America’s most futuristic record label is expanding its sound, vision, and synchronicity with like-minded producers from around the world, 2010 version. You’ve heard people talking about World Music 2.0, Nu Whirled Music, Global Gettotech and other terms describing where urban bass music is headed. “Las Americas V.1” is your chance to experience it in all its cross-cultural glory.”

Because that is a ridiculous thing to say about a song based on a character in a movie that set back Indian stereotypes to the 1930’s. But it’s still ok because we are getting news and music sent to us from a record label that releases songs we actually play at things like this:

We will try to get promos of these tracks before Daggerday so you guys can get crazy to this shit.

Now you are probably asking “What else has landed in the Walmer inbox?” Well, a few things actually but we will talk of only one group: Urban Legend.

Here is their story in their own words:

The 2 first met in the Ft. Green section of Brooklyn, NY at Moe’s bar. Upon being introduced by super producer Dr. Luke (best known for his work with platinum-plus artists Kelly Clarkson, Pink, Ke$ha, Avril Lavigne), both producers hit it off instantly. It turned out that Kojak thought J-Radical’s new kicks were “dope”. “Ever since I saw him rocking those Air Force 1’s, I knew he was down by law”, quips Kojak. “We had an instant connection,” he adds with a smirk.

The two soon found themselves holed up in J-Radical’s Hollywood studio making tracks until all hours. Both with a penchant for Latinas, the obvious move: “to just be a couple of white boys making a Latino record.”  Since both cats were already making a name for themselves on a solo tip, the natural thing to do was to come together like some rum-soaked Wonder Twins and set out for a musical path of destruction.

Perhaps something in your head is ringing after reading that. Is it an alarm bell? We bet it isn’t from the name dropping of Ke$ha and Avril Lavigne. How could it be? Everyone is buying their music so they must be good. Then we looked at the photos that were sent along with the music and the blurb above:

It puts us in a tough place because we at Walmer Convenience respect the hustle. We hustle everyday. We believe people who work hard should succeed and blah blah blah. This doesn’t work though:

This looks like a thing we would make as a joke. And it doesn’t help that we had to go download this from some website that had pop-ups for downloading stupid screen savers and shit. The Dirty Frenchman may have morning breath so terrible that it has been known to kill the girls that get blackout drunk and sleep with him, but he still posts direct links when he sends his shit out to people.

But what about the music?

Well, if you want to hear it you will have to download it like a sucka from sendspace (?) like we did. The thing is, because the presentation was so poor, we were predisposed to hate a song that would otherwise not be horrible if played when one is coming down off drugs at 6am with the sun rising.

Urban Legend ft Chana – World Keeps Spinning (sendpace)

Anyway, that’s enough of our clout for now.

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