Archive for the ‘zombies for money’ Tag

WINTER BASS   Leave a comment

Who the fuck is rocking a Walmer sticker now. Is it 2Deep? It is! Crazy! Have checked out any 2Deep tunes yet? Go fucking do it! Here is the soundcloud. You like good music right? So then you like 2Deep. You can’t like one and not the other. IT IS SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. Do the research. Anyway we gotta go and have sex with your mom’s so while we do that why don’t you go check out some hot ass bass. GO GRAB THOSE FUCKING TUNES AFTER THE JUMP!

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CRAZY TORONTO NIGHTS   Leave a comment

These are the Buraka Som Sistemas. They fucked the hell outta shit in Toronto on Friday. Big ups to Diggy Scott at Underdog for hooking us the fuck up. We were right in the shit as you can see. Met and re-met some great dudes:

Sto looks like he spilt beer all over himself. He’s here with Conductor from Buraka. When Buraka was on it was so poopin off that people couldn’t fucking deal. Place was packed tighter than a newborn’s vagina. Yeah. We’re disgusting.

Fucking Bear Witness from fucking A Tribe Called Red with the disgusting ass Dirty Frenchman. Damn straight those motherfuckers were playing that night too and they had already got the place going so crazy it was hard to believe that anyone could follow. Only Buraka could pull it off. Enough bullshit though. It was a great show. LET’S GET SOME NEW MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP!

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Chris Tucker woke up in his apartment in the not great part of town. It was 1pm. That’s the time he woke up everyday. He hadn’t worked for 2 years so he never had to get up early unless it was to get his welfare cheque. Chris Tucker collected welfare now. Even though he always got more than enough sleep because of the fact that nothing was going on in his life, he still enjoyed having a cup of coffee as a pick me up to start his day. It just made it feel complete. It made him feel complete if only for a few minutes. As the coffee brewed he looked at the fading picture of him and Jackie Chan that he had stuck on his old refrigerator.

Those had been better times. He remembered all the bitches he had fucked as a tag team with Jackie. They had done it to build up their partnership so that audiences would love their chemistry. He remembered all the blow that they had done together in the trailer off of breasts in between takes. Jackie liked to do lines of blow between girl’s assholes and pussies. He called it “Getting from Point A to Point P” except when he said it it was in Chinese and shit. Chris Tucker stood there for 10 more minutes looking at the picture,  revisiting all the highs and lows he had had in his former career as an actor. The coffee maker made a beep and brought Chris Tucker back to reality. He poured the warm liquid into his favourite mug and took a quick gulp. As the coffee hit his taste buds it was all wrong, it had a very sharp taste almost like vinegar but salty and it stung his tongue. He pulled the mug away from his face and looked inside and made a startling discovery. It was not coffee at all in his mug. It was pee. Chris Tucker had just drank pee. Floating in the pee were soundclouds. GO GRAB THOSE SOUNDCLOUDS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP TO KNOW WHAT CHRIS TUCKER EXPERIENCED!:

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If you fucking read The Walmer Convenience Musical Blog at all then you have probably realized a few things (if you have not realized them then you are fucking stupid). One is that we love music but we don’t fucking suck it’s dick. Until someone is able to create a song that will come and suck our dicks then we refuse to suck the dick of music. That’s the way we roll. Another thing is we don’t put anyone on a fucking pedestal. Everyone is human being. Diplo is a human being. is a human being. You’re a fucking human being. No one is due any more respect than anyone else because they’re famous. You can click “like” on every fucking thing they say on Facebook all you want, you will still not be famous. And who knows, maybe Diplo has cried more than you. Kanye West has definitely cried more than you (he may shed at least a tear a day). Maybe you have fucked more chicks than That’s doubtful though. We don’t bend over backwards for anyone based on how well known they are. In fact, we make fun of them more. Finally, music is something to have fun with. If you love it, you find it fun and enjoyable. Have fun when you make music because there are so many things that can get you down in life. So much fucking tragedy, so much everyday bullshit. Make music a thing to enjoy. Taking it lightly is a better sign than taking it too fucking seriously.

Why are we talking about all this shit? Well to explain why we were so happy we got Neki Stranac to answer some stupid fucking questions we made up. This guy has got a funny and refreshing way on looking at music and the creative process. If you have followed him on Facebook or Soundcloud you know he’s one of the more irreverent fuckers in the global bass scene and especially the Moombahton scene. Enough of our bull shit though. Let’s pass it over to Neki Stranac (who deftly avoids starting any beef even though we tried so fucking hard). READ THE FUCKING INTERVIEW AND GRAB TWO FREE EXCLUSIVE REMIXES AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER NEKI SHIT AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP ASS MONKEYS!

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Soundcloud is back but we’re still pissed. We used to trust them and rely on them. They fucking let us down. Like bitches. Even though we still powered through, the point is, we didn’t want to have to power through. We wanted life to just be fucking easy. We didn’t want to have to be ready for catastrophe. We are fucking slaves to Soundcloud. Everyone puts their fucking shit out on that shit. Anyway. Go grab more stupid fucking soundclouds AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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What is best? Shit or piss down your neck? Shit would choke you but piss would sting. Sometimes life gives you hard choices. Shit tastes like shit but piss tastes like piss. Best of times, worst of times. Charles Dickens. Think carefully about it. Anyway, let’s play some tunes. It’s the fucking long weekend in Canada. Maybe it is in America or Europica and Asiaca. All those other places are kinda just a blur. Like fucking Europe is just all the same with people just having traditions and funny costumes. GO GRAB THESE SONGS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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SLUTCLOUDS OF SOUND   Leave a comment

Hey fucks! What is going on? Are you enjoying your days? Do you guys all work? Can you go on blogs at McDonalds? We are surprised if you can. Where is this McDonalds? It must be the best McDonalds in the world. All they do is play soundclouds with their fucking Big Macs and instead of ketchup they serve dubstep with the fries. Moombahton happy meals. McBassalds. That’s a restaurant we can all get behind we will eat there all the time. Get fat. Have to go to the gym. Become anorexic. It will be a fucking life. Anyway, let’s look at the menu AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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