Archive for the ‘soca’ Tag

THE RETURN OF SOUNDCLOUDS   2 comments

Hey bitch suckers. What the fuck is going the fuck on? What the fuck has gone wrong with this place? Are we some kind of legitimate blog or something that posts actual releases by fuckers instead of just a fucking bunch of soundclouds with swearing and stills from stupid 1980’s films? NO! We are not. We are just a bunch of fucking hacks who don’t do any fucking analysis and say stupid shit and generally bring down the ART and SCIENCE of musical blogging. Music blogging is obviously the most noble of mostly unpaid professions. Anyway. Let’s just stop talking about that stuff and focus instead on music and your mom’s pussy. The most important things. LET’S FUCKING DO THIS AFTER THE JUMP CUNT LICKERS!

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SCHLACHTHOFBRONX EP OUT TODAY   Leave a comment

The new Schlachthofbronx is out today. Fucking Toddla T and Canblaster and Myd on that shit? This EP may be your father. How would you feel about that? Finding out that the whole time your father was just an EP of soca-ish tracks? Would it make you feel better or worse? Go grab the EP at Beatport or iTunes or whatever. You know how to use the fucking internet. This post was written before it came out so there are no links. But you can sample the fuck out of this fucker AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS WILL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK   Leave a comment

What is best? Shit or piss down your neck? Shit would choke you but piss would sting. Sometimes life gives you hard choices. Shit tastes like shit but piss tastes like piss. Best of times, worst of times. Charles Dickens. Think carefully about it. Anyway, let’s play some tunes. It’s the fucking long weekend in Canada. Maybe it is in America or Europica and Asiaca. All those other places are kinda just a blur. Like fucking Europe is just all the same with people just having traditions and funny costumes. GO GRAB THESE SONGS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS OF MURDER. ALSO, YOUR MOM.   Leave a comment

Hey there fucknuts! What is happening in your lives? Did you have a good weekend? Did you have a terrible weekend? Did you get peed on? It’s possible. Sometimes people get peed on. Sometimes they ask for it. Maybe you did. It’s alright. You are not so weird. You are definitely weird but not so weird. Like there are weirder people than you. The Dirty Frenchman probably does some weird ass shit. We don’t even want to know about his life. There are probably terrible things involved. Don’t ask. Let’s look at brighter things. There was a lot of amazing music that came out recently. Why don’t you give it a listen AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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WHO IS FELLOW AND WHAT DOES HE WANT?   Leave a comment

The truth is we don’t know who the fuck Fellow is. All we know is that he has a new EP that you can cop for free and the music is pretty ill as fuck. So ill that you might throw up wherever you are and then you will have to clean the throw up off yourself or the ground or the person you threw up on. The Dirty Frenchman once threw up on a guy at a bar and the dude had to go home and change but The Dirty Frenchman had no throw up on him. That’s real winning. Learn how to do it. Fellow throws up great music into your ears and you both win. Have a download and have a listen AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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Posted June 2, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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ULTRA WHO IS BEST: BLACK & YELLOW   2 comments

Whoa! Hey didn’t see you there. What’s shaking? I’m Michael Tyson. As usual, I’m talking in a really high voice right now. I was asked by the Walmer Convenience Musical Blog to introduce a special treat to you guys. I didn’t know that it would be during a random moment while I was collecting my KIA™ from the valet after eating tons of food at a restaurant. But life is crazy like that. One moment you are driving your KIA™ Sportage LX down the Interstate of success and the next it could go into the ditch of failure. In the end we have no control of our destinies. Dust in the wind if you will. There is one thing you have control over actually and that would be over who is fucking best. That’s what I’m here to do. That’s my reason to live.

We all love the song Blacks & Yellows by the Wiz Khalifas. It’s a classic of the modern era. It’s so fucking classic that a shitload of fuckers made remixes of it.

IT IS NOW UP TO YOU TO CHOOSE WHO IS THE BEST! VOTE AFTER THE JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS WILL DANCE ON YOUR GRAVES   Leave a comment

Hi! My name is Osama “Rusty” Bin Laden. You may remember me as a terrible person who did the worst things but I’d like to be commemorated as a passionate baseball player. You better fucking believe it. I love the game. The smell of fresh cut grass, the drama of the ninth inning. Can you think of a better sport. I will miss it up in heaven. Yup, I got to heaven. Shit’s unfair. You know how we tell suicide bombers and other terrorists that you get 7 virgins in heaven and all that other crap. Well, turns out it’s true. I still have many other regrets though. I never got an iPad 2™ and I never got to write the great novel I always thought I had in me. The other thing I will miss is the soundclouds. Like these AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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