Archive for the ‘mustard pimp’ Tag

FRIDAY NIGHT IN FRONT OF THE GARBAGE   Leave a comment

Some kids hung out in front of the coffee shop or the convenience store. You fucking hung out in front of the fucking garbage. That was your home away from home. You always wondered “What are people gonna put in there next?” Life was just a string of endless surprise and wonder. You ever took to calling them “The Wonder Years”. The night was always your favourite time. Such strange shit would get put in there. Syringes, used condoms, dead cats and much more. It was like a terrible Christmas. But it couldn’t last forever. One day they took the garbage away and moved that shit to another corner. You were fucking heartbroken. You tried to follow it. Other kids were hanging around it. They kicked your fucking ass. Now you walk the streets lost. Last Thursday you spent 3 hours holding your gun in your hand, thinking: What if? LIFT YOUR SPIRITS WITH THESE FUCKING TRACKS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING SONGS   2 comments

Motherfucker shit! I’m Samuel fucking L Jackson. I’m gonna fucking fuck shit up and shoot you in the fucking face if you don’t listen to these god damn fucking songs bitch! I fucking listen to this fucking shit all the fucking time. Don’t fuck with me with your shit. I fucking don’t fucking want have to fucking tell you again bitch. Let me fucking describe them to you AFTER THE FUCKING GOD DAMN JUMP…

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SOUNDCLOUDS CLOUDING YOUR VISION TILL YOU GONE BLIND   1 comment

Hey fuckfaces. Have you ever taken pee and thought you were done and pull up your pants and then more comes out and your fuckin undies got pee in them? It’s a living. That would be terrible if that happened when you took a shit. You would need to take a long hard look at your life. Maybe you would need to listen to musics to find meaning in the world. Maybe you would click ahead to listen to soundclouds AFTER THE JUMP (get it?)

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FUCKING SOUNDCLOUDS BUT Y’ALL ARE HATIN AND SHIT   2 comments

I’M FUCKING KANYE WEST Y’ALL! I’M GONNA FUCKING WIN THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR MUSIC! EVERYONE IS HATING ON ME BUT YOU DON’T HAVE DIAMOND TEETH AND YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND HOW TO MAKE MUSIC SO EVERYONE NEEDS TO BACK OFF BUT I’VE BEEN FUCKING AROUND WITH SOUNDCLOUD I’LL ADMIT IT AND THESE PEOPLE MIGHT COME CLOSE TO BEING A FRACTION OF ME. JUST BE QUIET AND LISTEN TO THESE TRACKS BECAUSE I WANT Y’ALL TO APPRECIATE THIS ART.

Congorock – Mortal Kombat 9 – Liu Kang’s Theme

THAT SONG WAS LIKE I WAS REMEBERIN WHEN I WAS FUCKING AT A FASHION SHOW AND MY LEGS WERE TOO HOT AND MY ARMS WERE TOO COLD:

IT’S JUST A THING I GOTTA DEAL WITH BECAUSE MY FAMILY ALWAYS HAD COLD ARMS SO PEOPLE JUST NEED TO BACK OFF AND LET ME JUST TRY TO DO MY AWESOME WORK LIKE EVERYONE WOULDN’T LEAVE MJ ALONE AND NOW HE’S DEAD AND I’M LIKE MJ.

Legobeat – Rooster Riddim (Hat+Hoodie’s Cockfight Remix)

THAT LAST SONG WAS LIKE THE TIME I WAS IN KING TUT’S FUCKING TOMB AND WEARIN A FUCKING EGYPTIAN CHAIN.

AND I WAS LIKE “FUCK YOU KING TUT! YOU MAY HAVE MORE GOLD THAN ME BUT I HAVE MORE IDEAS IN MY MIND WHICH MAKE ME RICHER THAN YOU AND MY MUSIC IS MY DIAMONDS AND THEY ARE ALSO MY TEETH.”

Mustard Pimp – RER E (Pantin Edit)

THIS IS JUST LIKE THE TIME I WAS MAKING SERIOUS ART TO CHANGE THE PLANET. NOBODY REALISES HOW LUCKY THEY ARE TO LIVE IN WHAT WILL PROBABLY BE KNOWN AS THE “WESTIAN ERA OF HISTORY. FUCKING BALLET AND HIP HOP YOU CAN’T SAY ANYONE EVER FUCKED WITH THAT BEFORE.

Usher – Love In This Club (sonora chopped n screwed mix)

THAT WAS LIKE THE TIME I WAS SITTING WITH JAY-Z AND WE WERE DRINKING MOËT FUCKING GRAND VINTAGE ROSÉ (IT’S MY FAVOURITE CHAMPAGNE THAT KARL LAGERFELD FUCKING SHOWED ME) AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT PICASSO’S BLUE PERIOD AND WHICH ONE OF US HAD THE MOST OF HIS PAINTINGS AND JAY-Z HAD MORE BUT I WAS LIKE I LIVE THE POETRY OF HIS ART AND THEREFORE I CONNECT BETTER WITH THE IDEA OF PICASSO SO EVEN IF I HAVE LESS OF HIS PAINTINGS I HAVE MORE IN COMMON WITH HIM. I WON.

Munchi – Filha Da Puta

THIS LAST SONG IS NOT AS GOOD AS ANYTHING I EVER MADE AND THIS PICTURE ABOVE IS ME JUST CRAFTING A BETTER SONG USING MY MIND AND IMAGINATION. MY HEAD IS LIKE A WHOLE WORLD AND INSIDE YOU’D BE IN SOME NERVERENDING STORY TYPE SHIT.

Ke$ha – we R who we R (Kid Kaio DoubleDutch Remix)

THERE WAS THIS OTHER TIME THAT I WAS WITH MY BROS ELTON AND PAUL AND JUST TRYING TO GET THEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW YOU MAKE GOOD MUSIC COME TO LIFE AND THEY JUST DIDN’T GET IT AND WERE HORSING AROUND AND SHIT BUT I COULDN’T GET UPSET BECAUSE YOU GOTTA RESPECT THEM THEY GOT MORE PICASSOS THAN ME BUT YOU WAIT AND SEE WHEN THEY DIES IMMA BUY ALL THEIR PICASSOS UP.

REMEMBER FIDGET HOUSE?   2 comments

Stereoheroes vs Mustard Pimp – Shark Spray (zshare)

Have you gotten your fidget house t-shirt yet? What do you mean you don’t have it? How can you go do the raving without it? Oh. You’re going with the house t-shirt:

The other house one is a bit more classy:

Yeah, Plan B is gonna wear his own style:

We are some very cool dudes. We bought this t-shirt for our girlfriends to wear while they hang out beside the turntables to show that they are connected to these guys who are RUNNING THIS RAVE! RAVE NOBILITY!

Yeah we gonna get our dicks sucked by our bitches at the rave! That’s your new pacifier ladies! Cool t-shirts mean cool times! Right guys?:

Worst post yet!

THE DIRTY FRENCHMAN – THE INVISIBLE HAND   2 comments

The Dirty Frenchman – The Invisible Hand

The Dirty Frenchman was raised in an Algerian bunker by lepers. He learned to dj using twine and old bottle caps. This is a hard hitting mix that is at times bewildering and operatic. He touches on many genres and no genres. Electro, house,  global ghettotech, uk funky, b-more, kuduro and dancehall collide and become not just a collection of songs, but a story. Not just a story, but a narrative. Not just a narrative, but a dj mix.

Murder Mike, Mike-Mike, Young H.I.D. – Cherry Hill And Down Ya Block

Doorly ft. Lady Chann – The One

Hypercrush – Ayo

Drop The Lime – Doomsday Device

Mustard Pimp – Kiwi (Gigi Barocco Remix)

Douster ft. Spoek Mathambo – Punani

Sidney Samson – Panorama

Drop The Lime – Sex Sax (Zombies For Money Remix)

So Shifty Ft. Busy Signal – Lift Up Dat

Dj Khaled, T-Pain, Ludacris & Rick Ross – All I Do is Win (Cuz Cole Remix)

Steve Starks – Git Em (Munchi Remix)

? – No Beef (RadioKillaz Remix)

Perfect Loosers Ft. Karo MC – Bandits (Sabbo Remix)

Ghostdad – Vuvuzela Beat

Schlachthofbronx – Sai Safarda

Schlachthofbronx – We Run This

Die Antwoord – Enter The Ninja (Douster Remix)

Rusko – Dial My Number

Cham – Take It Outside

EPICNESS   Leave a comment

Mustard Pimp – Scissors (zshare)

Mustard Pimp is pimpin’ your ears with this mothafucka. It’s like the epicness of old times mixed with the hardness of now. This is the song that you listen to while you are approaching the Lost Temple of Doing a Line of Blow off a Breast. Yeah, that’s a real place. Mustard Pimp will be at Wrongbar in Toronto (our city!) tomorrow so why don’t you go see him and get fucked up and then get fired from your work and become homeless. We just wrote your life story.

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