Archive for the ‘moveltposse’ Tag

SUPER FUCKING SOUNDCLOUD TUESDAY?   Leave a comment

Yo! Super cool time fuckers. This is Ibiza. This is life. Feel the music. I’m Dj Tiesto. Dj stands for “disc jockey”. Did you know that? It’s a a fucking rave. This is Ibiza. Feel the life. It’s a Tuesday. People are fucking connecting. They have MDMA sex. The next day they are like “What did I fuck?” That’s so Ibiza. That’s so Tiesto. My music is like crying into a pool of dreams. When people shit in Ibiza, they shit love. Literally fucking hearts come out of their assholes. It looks like Valentine’s Day all over the beach. I’m over here now:

The worst thing about the daytime is that you can’t use glow sticks. What could annoying people make use of to give light shows? Dark sticks? Like they would fucking make shit darker around them and it would be called a dark show and also sound mildly racist? All this thinking is killing the fucking vibe. That’s not what Ibiza is about. The only thing you worry about here is herpes and where you get the next line of blow. And over here you always do blow off of girls tits. It’s the law. Here are some tunes to stick up your mom’s vagina. Use them wisely. Feel the fucking energy of the dance. Become Ibiza. TUNES ARE AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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YOUR MOM MADE THESE SOUNDCLOUDS. IN HER UTERUS.   1 comment

She got fucked. She had it in her uterus for 9 months. It came out. It was a soundcloud. She was shocked. This was not a baby. It was beats. You can’t breastfeed a beat. What was she going to do with all that milk? It was a big case of the mondays. Your brother is a beat. It goes to family reunions. It’s so fucking loud. You hate Christmas now. The beat made it to college and you didn’t. You are jealous. Jealous of a soundcloud. Your life sucks. Listen to soundclouds. AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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