Archive for the ‘moombahsoul’ Tag

SOUNDCLOUDS MADE FROM PEE   Leave a comment

Chris Tucker woke up in his apartment in the not great part of town. It was 1pm. That’s the time he woke up everyday. He hadn’t worked for 2 years so he never had to get up early unless it was to get his welfare cheque. Chris Tucker collected welfare now. Even though he always got more than enough sleep because of the fact that nothing was going on in his life, he still enjoyed having a cup of coffee as a pick me up to start his day. It just made it feel complete. It made him feel complete if only for a few minutes. As the coffee brewed he looked at the fading picture of him and Jackie Chan that he had stuck on his old refrigerator.

Those had been better times. He remembered all the bitches he had fucked as a tag team with Jackie. They had done it to build up their partnership so that audiences would love their chemistry. He remembered all the blow that they had done together in the trailer off of breasts in between takes. Jackie liked to do lines of blow between girl’s assholes and pussies. He called it “Getting from Point A to Point P” except when he said it it was in Chinese and shit. Chris Tucker stood there for 10 more minutes looking at the picture,  revisiting all the highs and lows he had had in his former career as an actor. The coffee maker made a beep and brought Chris Tucker back to reality. He poured the warm liquid into his favourite mug and took a quick gulp. As the coffee hit his taste buds it was all wrong, it had a very sharp taste almost like vinegar but salty and it stung his tongue. He pulled the mug away from his face and looked inside and made a startling discovery. It was not coffee at all in his mug. It was pee. Chris Tucker had just drank pee. Floating in the pee were soundclouds. GO GRAB THOSE SOUNDCLOUDS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP TO KNOW WHAT CHRIS TUCKER EXPERIENCED!:

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MOOMBAHTONS   2 comments

Don’t know what to fucking say about this picture. Shit just looks fucked up. Was looking up fucking pictures of cats and guns and this is one of the things that came up. What the fuck is that? We just wanted to have an innocent picture, that was it. Just a cat and a gun. What about all the children who just want cat and gun fucking pictures for their school project? Are they going to be exposed to this fucking disgusting shit? Why is the internet such a stinking vagina stuffed with garbage? We need to clean shit up! But while we do that why don’t we just listen to a whole post of moombahton? GO GRAB THAT SHIT AND LISTEN AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP YOU CUNT HERDERS!

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MORE MOOMBAHTON ABUSE   Leave a comment

This is the actor who is named Daniel Glover again! I so angry now! So angry at the fact that no one listened to me from the last post where I told you about the moombahton will make sexual abuse to you! No one is safe from it! Now there is more of the moombahton to touch you in the special way. No one makes thinks of the children! My fist shakes! STOP HAVING LISTEN TO THE FUCKING MOOMBAHTON! AHHHHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGG!

GET MORE MOOMBAHTON AFTER THE JUMP FUCKERS!

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MOOMBAHTON FUCKING EAR BEATDOWN   Leave a comment

Hey! Assholes! What’s up! You know what these moombahton tracks are gonna do to you? Gonna bite your fucking ear off is what. Gonna have a fucking piece of your ear missing. That will be your life. You can either deal with it or cry like a baby. An ear-less baby. Nobody wants an ear-less baby. Those get returned to the vagina in exchange for another baby. Because that how pregnancy works. Either that or a fucking bird brings your baby. Bird shit baby. Anyway. Enough about birds and babies. Let’s listen to some moombahton AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:

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MOOMBAHLUV   Leave a comment

Moombahluv. It’s the opposite of Moombahhate which is coming soon. Or is it? No, it’s not. Anyway, DJ UMB from the Generation Bass Blog of Global Music got all these fuckers to make this and it’s got some good ass tracks. Maybe you should download it and then if you live in Canada you can play it during Canadian Thanksgiving this coming weekend and the you can read the words of Neil Queen Jones (who made this amazing post for us) to your fucking kids since he wrote the liner notes. It will be the greatest Canadian Thanksgiving of all. Even if you live somewhere else like some weird country like Germany you can still celebrate by going out to the woods, stabbing a turkey in the face and painting your body with it’s blood. That’s what we do for Canadian Thanksgiving. GO GRAB THIS FUCKING COMPILATION AND SAMPLE SOME TUNES AFTER THE JUMP:

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SOUDCLOUDS THAT LIVE OUTDOORS   Leave a comment

Look at these two assholes disc jockeying out doors like Irishmen. We always put up pictures of other djs but it’s been a long time since we put up pictures of our own selves. Plan B and The Dirty Frenchman tearing shit up like they have a bunch of secret documents they don’t want anyone to read. Thanks to those amazing fucks Gooffee for having us spin and big shout out to Mem Rx for coming through with great tunes and great equipment to pull the whole thing off. It ended up being the best Nuit Blance ever. The scene:

Yeah. Fucking insanity. CHECK OUT THE SONGS WE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE PLAYED AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS CAME ON YOUR FACE   Leave a comment

Hey. How the fuck are all of you? That picture up there is of The Uproot Andy from the SLOWED party in Toronto last Saturday. Starting tomorrow we will be djing 3 nights in a fucking row. We’re gonna spin way better than that guy and by that we mean 50% as good because he murdered it. He’s really fucking good. Kudos again to The Torro Torros and Le Dew Its for promising him a happy ending massage to get him to play in this town. If you want succeed in fucking show business YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL! But rub and tugs aside, what with the whole UK moombahton spectacular and all that we’ve passed over a lot of good ass music that maybe you will like or maybe hate but whatever if you’re here you might as well listen because you’re a guest and it would be impolite so go listen to that shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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