Archive for the ‘house’ Tag

A SHITLOAD OF HOT TRACKS   Leave a comment

Who is this fucker? It’s Canblaster. You can hardly tell though. We could have said it was Skrillex or Paul Oakenfold. No one would know. But it’s Canblaster. We saw him on New Year’s Eve in Toronto thanks to the Mansions. They just amass killer lineups for parties. Check them out if you are in town somehow. That Canblaster is a chill dude and awesome dj. Fucking boy wonder musical genius. Anyway, why talk about shit when we can just listen to some fucking tracks and download them and then play them when we have someone over to our place to have sex. GO GET SOME MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP!

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POST APOCALYPTIC BASS: NO MOOMBAH FUCKERS   Leave a comment

After the fucking apocalypse there will be no room for moombahton. No light-hearted fun at the end of the world. We will need bass and plenty of it. People who listen to moombahton after the apolcalypse will be moving too slow. Cannibals will easily catch up with them. People who are listening to bass may be moving even slower. But they will be heavily armed with axes and hammers. People who listen to moombahton will be armed with hugs. You can’t kill a person with hugs unless you are some kind of musclebound bohemoth. There are probably like 3 people in the world that like moombahton and are also musclebound bohemoths. They will be the only people to carry the moombahton torch into the future. They still might get fucking killed by a bunch of people who like bass music if those people gang up on them. HERE’S SOME BASS MUSIC TO BE PREPARED AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP:

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GET THE FREE HUSH HUSH PONY EP   Leave a comment

These are some kind of Polish dudes or some shit like that. They released a free track a few months ago that we rinsed during New Year’s weekend (grab it here). That shit follows in that same Uk Garage style. The way to best appreciate this EP is to grab some NyQuil, drink half the bottle and chase it with some Hennessy™. GRAB IT AFTER THE JUMP FUCKERS!

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Posted January 6, 2012 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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NEW YEAR/NEW BASS   Leave a comment

Don’t know what the fuck that picture is supposed to be. Like is it the Moon hitting the Earth or is it like Uranus? Is that how it ends? We are hit by Uranus? Your anus? Fuck. Or maybe nothing will happen. Maybe you will still have to work at your dead end job for the next 20 years. Maybe there will be no end. You will still be single in 2012. Did you ever imagine that there would be an apocalypse and society would crumble and that you wouldn’t have to go to fucking work and maybe you would join some rebel group and be a hero/finally step up your game? It might never happen. You may not become some kind of post-apocalyptic fuckmaster/hero.

In the meantime why don’t we go out and grab some fucking bass music and remember the peeps we lost in 2011. LET’S GO FUCKING DO THIS SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!

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EXCLUSIVE TRACK! FRANK LUCANO – SWAGGA DAGGA   Leave a comment

In Canada right now it’s morning and if you hate coffee you’re in fucking luck. This new track that Frank Lucano has sent us for exclusive download is your coffee substitute. You wanna feel ready to start the party at 9am? Listen to this track. Maybe it is best described as your morning cocaine. Frank Lucano sent us heat before but this is even better. We love anything that is fucking dancehall based. All the things you need are here: Elephant Man, soca-ish beat and the swagga dagga riddim. GO GRAB THIS EXCLUSIVE TRACK AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP AND BUMP IT AT WORK UNTIL YOU GET FUCKING FIRED!

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Posted December 22, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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BASS MUSIC FOR CREEPS   Leave a comment

Where do you listen to music? The girl’s bathroom? The school playground? You’re a creep. Even if you’re a girl it’s kinda creepy unless you have a kid and the kid is playing on the playground and you happen to be there to look after the little fucker. But then even if that is the case, why do you have your headphones on? Maybe your kid is screaming. You’ll never hear them. You’re a bad mother. This is not Parenting Today. Is there a blog called Parenting Today? Who cares. Fuckers are here for some fucking tunes so why don’t we drop the pretense and get straight to the point. Just straight up bass music for your stupid asses. GO GRAB THOSE TUNES AFTER THE JUMP FUCK FACES!

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THE SOUNDCLOUDS YOU FOUND IN THE TOILET   1 comment

It was just a normal time in the toilet for you. You were like “What could go wrong? I’m just doing some blow and getting the fuck out of here just like every lunchtime.” You wanted peace and quiet. You didn’t want your friends to walk in. But you heard something. You heard noises coming from the toilet. No one was taking a shit. It didn’t make sense. You looked in. You discovered the secret. The toilet was filled with soundclouds. It didn’t make sense but it did. You were dancing to the beat. Doing blow to the beat. You went back to work and had the best fucking day of your life. Printed out so many fucking files. But what were the soundclouds that you heard? GO GRAB THE FUCK OUT OF THOSE SOUNDCLOUDS AFTER THE JUMP!

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A BUNCH OF ODDS AND ENDS: MOOMBAH, BASS, RAP, MORE   2 comments

Separated at birth? Haha! Anyway, we got some hot shit in store for you either today or tomorrow but in the meantime we got more music for your stupid asses. We always need to be shoveling out music like a bunch of labourers in a salt mine. GIVE US FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS! Anyway. Let’s get the is music party started. Enough fucking chit chat. We honestly don’t give a fuck about your wife and kids and if you don’t have kids we don’t give a fuck about your sperm or uterus. This is not the Walmer Convenience Family Blog of Putting Up Pictures My Kids Drew On The Fridge or WCFBPMDOTF. GO GET SOME NEW SHIT AFTER THE JUMP CUNT BRAINS!

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NO MOOMBAH POST TO KEEP PROVING WE AIN’T SOME FUCKING MOOMBAH ONLY BLOG   Leave a comment

Look at these to assholes. This is fucking Sto of Walmer with fucking Tittsworth at the SLOWED party that happened on Saturday in Toronto. This was a moombahton party where The Torro Torros and Sean Caff also took the crowd and shook the crowd like it wasn’t a thang. It makes perfect sense then to use this picture for a post dedicated to non-moombahton music. We’re geniuses. Whenever we fucking talk to fuckers they think we just like moombahton. We like other music. We post other music. People just send us a shitload of moombahton every fucking day that’s fresh as fuck. If fuckers wanted to send us bass music we will take it and play the fuck out of it. We like club music too. Basically just send us everything. Anyway, go grab some hot ass non moombah AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP BITCHTITS!

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SOUNDCLOUDS MADE FROM PEE   Leave a comment

Chris Tucker woke up in his apartment in the not great part of town. It was 1pm. That’s the time he woke up everyday. He hadn’t worked for 2 years so he never had to get up early unless it was to get his welfare cheque. Chris Tucker collected welfare now. Even though he always got more than enough sleep because of the fact that nothing was going on in his life, he still enjoyed having a cup of coffee as a pick me up to start his day. It just made it feel complete. It made him feel complete if only for a few minutes. As the coffee brewed he looked at the fading picture of him and Jackie Chan that he had stuck on his old refrigerator.

Those had been better times. He remembered all the bitches he had fucked as a tag team with Jackie. They had done it to build up their partnership so that audiences would love their chemistry. He remembered all the blow that they had done together in the trailer off of breasts in between takes. Jackie liked to do lines of blow between girl’s assholes and pussies. He called it “Getting from Point A to Point P” except when he said it it was in Chinese and shit. Chris Tucker stood there for 10 more minutes looking at the picture,  revisiting all the highs and lows he had had in his former career as an actor. The coffee maker made a beep and brought Chris Tucker back to reality. He poured the warm liquid into his favourite mug and took a quick gulp. As the coffee hit his taste buds it was all wrong, it had a very sharp taste almost like vinegar but salty and it stung his tongue. He pulled the mug away from his face and looked inside and made a startling discovery. It was not coffee at all in his mug. It was pee. Chris Tucker had just drank pee. Floating in the pee were soundclouds. GO GRAB THOSE SOUNDCLOUDS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP TO KNOW WHAT CHRIS TUCKER EXPERIENCED!:

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