Archive for the ‘dutch house’ Tag

SOUDCLOUDS THAT STAND ON THE SHOULDERS OF GIANTS   Leave a comment

Hey cuntnuts? What did you do during the weekend? Did you have fun? Did you puke? Did you go to the bathroom outside of a bathroom? You are like a bird. A free bird. The bathroom is a cage you will never be confined to. You go when you like, where you like with dignity. There is no holding it in for you. You don’t hold in your emotions and you don’t hold in your pee or poo. You make the rules even while you break them. This is your music AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:

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FUCKING MUSIC FOR YOUR SORRY ASSES   Leave a comment

Hello everyone. My fucking name is Eddie Griffin. You might remember me from the fact that I played in commercial cinema films a number of years back. Now my job is to smoke cigars for money. I also like to listen to the soundclouds on the world wide web. There are so many things you can find if you like to surf it. It blows my mind sometimes like a spliff. Do you have any work for me? Can I get a light for my cigar? You want to smoke a spliff? I got some papers if you have some chrons. What are you talking about saying no? I saw you had some weed earlier. You sure you need to leave? What about these tunes? AFTER THE JUMP!

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THE MUSIC SOUNDS BETTER WITH YOUR MOM   1 comment

Hey bros! What a gwaan? How’s your mom doing? Is she good? We tried to call her but she wouldn’t pick up. We left a message. Is she still upset about the thing? We just weren’t ready for the commitment she wanted. We still have so many things that we feel we need to accomplish before we settle down.  And, well, let’s admit it, we just aren’t ready to be a dad to you. It’s too much pressure. Sorry. MUSIC AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS FOR KIDS!   Leave a comment

Hey bros! Do you like pogs? We don’t because we’re adults. But maybe you are a child. What are you doing here? Your parents have really dropped the ball if you are here. They’re like “We don’t fuckin’ care. Look at whatever you want. What would you like to drink? Vodka? Beer?”. You’re pretty cool kids though if that is what you are. Maybe in a few years you can be like French Fries here. Seems like just yesterday he was coming out of his mom’s vagina and now look at him: killing a crowd in Toronto in a Chinese restaurant. Good to the Mansions and the Earmilks for having him come down and play the music even though he was ill. The Dirty Frenchman got so drunk he couldn’t fucking eat until 8pm the next day. You could live that life one day kids. MUSIC AFTER THAT JUMP YOU CUNTS!…

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SOUNCLOUDS CLOGGING THE DRAIN IN YOUR SINK   Leave a comment

Well hello there children. My name is Reginald VelJohnson. What the fuck is going on with you guys? Are there strippers here? I like ladies that hate clothes and show off their punanis for money. It’s capitalism and not some kind of communist bullshit. In fucking Soviet Russia you’d go to a strip club and the most you’d get are nips and that would cost you extra. What kind of a system is that? No way. Not on my watch. You know that they said that when Family Matters started up, the people of Soviet fucking Russia saw a new way of life and that’s when the changes started happening there. That’s what I’ve heard people say. Nah! Don’t fucking thank me. It was a team effort that show. Everyone had a part to play and everyone just nailed it day in and day out. Showbusiness history. They don’t fucking make them like that anymore, no sir. They sure fucking don’t. Working with Jaleel, you know Jaleel White? That was just a pleasure. Every fucking show, we’d just learn something new. Just feed off each other. It was like jazz. Anyway, enough about me. Let’s get down to the music AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING SONGS   2 comments

Motherfucker shit! I’m Samuel fucking L Jackson. I’m gonna fucking fuck shit up and shoot you in the fucking face if you don’t listen to these god damn fucking songs bitch! I fucking listen to this fucking shit all the fucking time. Don’t fuck with me with your shit. I fucking don’t fucking want have to fucking tell you again bitch. Let me fucking describe them to you AFTER THE FUCKING GOD DAMN JUMP…

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SOUNCLOUDS THAT COME TO YOUR MOM’S HOUSE WITH FLOWERS   Leave a comment

Is this your fucking father? Because if so your life is terrible. You’ve got real problems when his shirt is too big to contain his gut. Is it because his gut is his point of pride? When you’re at the mall and people are staring he tells you about how he had to drink millions of beers and eat 56 more tonnes of food than he needed to over his life. But if that’s not enough, did you know your dad likes to go Bangkok to nail teenage whores like there will be no more teenage whores left? It’s true. As the great artists had paint and canvas through which to express themselves and the poets the pen and the paper, your dad has teenage whores. That’s your life, don’t wear it out. Big LOLs all around. MUSIC IS AFTER THAT FUCKIN’ JUMP:

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