Archive for the ‘disgraceland’ Tag

SCOLD RECORDINGS IS…AUDIO HERETICS   Leave a comment

Hey all you assholes! You want some good free music from the UK? We know, we know, they are responsible from some of the worst crimes against humanity: Colonialism, Simon Cowell, Russell Brand, etc. But they still make some ok music. In this case it is ok moombahton. Those dudes Disgraceland, Heisenberg and some weird dude named Ljudas have made three tracks so deep that you will need a tunneling machine in order to enjoy them. What are you waiting for? GO GRAB THAT SHIT AFTER THE JUMP!

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MOOMBAHDEEP. IT’S OUT AND IT’S FREE   Leave a comment

The was a time not long ago when we would talk about deep house as sleep house because, you know, not really the best shit to jolt you in the morning. Suprisingly it’s been the growing amount of deep moombah and lean house shit that has made us come around. You smoke a big flat spliff on an afternoon or late the fuck at night and this shit is fucking perfect. It was compiled by this dude named Ginger Shinobi who we know nothing about except that he is some red headed fucker who likes the classic arcade game. All these facts are well and good but the most important fact for us is that the promotional material for this compilation uses a quote from us like basically us saying that something is cool is a reason for you to download it. Check it:

“If you like music that takes you somewhere and is about the journey rather than the moment then this compilation is for you. This is music that you savour. MoombahDeep is like a long dinner rather than a quick snack. Sophisticated moombahton for adults. Adults who like to spend time in smoky warehouses at 4am.”

-Walmer Convenience 2012

So that’s why you should get this compilation. Because we said that shit. Also it’s pretty good. GRAB THAT SHIT AFTER THE JUMP FUCKFACES AND PLAY IT AT YOUR AFTERHOURS THIS WEEKEND!

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THE UK IS STILL MODERATELY RELEVANT: THE SONGS FROM A SMALL ISLAND MOOMBAHTON EP   Leave a comment

The tale of the UK or Great Britain or whatever is a sad one. After stomping their colonial boots on the face of much of the world during the 1800’s they have had a steady and inexorable decline since the beginning of the 2oth century sinking so low that at this point we don’t even feel like capitalising their name anymore as if it refers to something with an importance above a common object like a chair or toilet. From now on people will say “I went and took a shit in the united kingdom” or “I stepped into the great britain and had to clean my shoes after”. The last war they actually fought in without the United States holding their hands was to get what? The fucking Falkland Islands? Not only are those maybe the least geo-strategically important islands in the world but we all know that they are really called the Islas Malvinas and always have and always will be an integral part of the Argentine Republic.

Indeed, there are very few ways a brit can experience that thing called dignity these days. One of those few ways is through music. That is maybe the last thing british people have. Take that away from them and they are no better than the animals. Anyway. What we have with this moombahton EP called Songs From A Small Island is really one of the last gasps of the british. These tunes, which are great, are really like a cry in the dark. In a world that is increasingly indifferent, people from britain need to do whatever they can to be heard. Listen to the desperate howls of Geek Boy, Disgraceland, Mr9Carter and Heisenberg AFTER THE JUMP YOU CUNTS!

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Posted January 4, 2012 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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SUPER FUCKING SPECIAL GUEST POST – POP CULTURE CARE PACKAGE PRESENTS: THE BRYAN ADAMS GUIDE TO UK MOOMBAHTON   5 comments

Hey, Walmer fans, Bryan Adams here! How’s it going over there in Canadialand? Actually, don’t tell me, I don’t give even 5% of a fuck. Seriously . That’s why I left that shithole to come live here in the UK, leaving you lot swimming in a massive puddle of your own chezelagnia filth until you can come to terms with the fact that you’ll never be American. Man, this place pisses on your dump – right now I’m at the vinegar strokes with that Kelly Brook lady and whoever that foxy lady is who’s in the Harry Potter films – yeah, Dame Maggie Smith. You know it. And the best thing? They give you a butler who’ll wipe the manjam from your old chap with one of the Queen’s swans while Sting holds your coat. Sweet.

Actually, I don’t know why I’m bothering to write this, I bet you’re too busy being tromboned by a grizzly bear or getting all the fucking poutine out your beard so you can get on with finishing your Wayne Gretzky fan porn. Anyway, if you could just stop licking Celine Dion’s sweaty lady marmalade off Jim Carrey’s perineum for  just one fucking second, I’d like to let you know about all the great moombahtons they got over here in that UK – well, I won’t, cos  like the rest of you idiot Canadians, I don’t actually know shit about culture, so I’ll wait for my man Pop Culture Care Package to finish drinking Pimms with Michael Caine and Kate Moss and he can tell you dumb fucks instead. Now that’s what I’m talking aboot!

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